# Word For Male Mistress? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [April 28, 2024, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882 "2024-04-28T21:34:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2024, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/81 "2024-04-30T17:51:52Z")
> [@Dr\_Paprika](#): > > True. So maybe we could, as a society, agree to use the word “mattster”. I’d vote for this, if it didn’t sound so much like somebody just kept a college nickname for way too long and keeps referring to himself in the third person as ‘the Mattster’ while everyone around him grows up to buy houses and have kids, whereas he still tries to hold fast to his glory days, thinking of himself as a ‘fun guy’, never realizing he’s become the creepy old dude hanging around at parties of much younger folk that are happy to have him buy them beers, but then tell each other to watch their drinks around him. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2024, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/82 "2024-04-30T18:38:03Z")
True, but this is also why it is _exactly_ the right word for a male mistress. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2024, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/83 "2024-04-30T21:10:04Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > “Lover” is of course the gender-neutral term for a sex partner where it constitutes adultery for one or both parties. I suppose two single folks could use that word for each other, but it seems inapt. I’ve heard and seen it used for and by people who weren’t married. It doesn’t seem inapt to me. I don’t think it’s really a word for “male mistress”, though. For one thing, it’s gender neutral. For another, it can indicate an equal relationship; and/or can indicate a relationship that might turn into marriage. > [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Sugar Daddy I was always under the impression that a sugar daddy was supporting the woman financially. I might be wrong. > [@Sunspace](#): > > “Woman of a certain age” is another one. _What_ age? I’ve never even been sure what the expression is trying to get across. Menopausal, I believe; back when one didn’t say “menopause” out loud except in the doctor’s office. – hmm, maybe I’m wrong about that one. > [@epbrown](#): > > A woman of a certain age was a single woman considered too old to marry (over 30, possibly divorced) but too young to be a spinster (under 50). > [@nightshadea](#): > > gigolo is the term these days tho if one is financially supporting the lover That’s the word I was trying to think of. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anybody use it, though; only seen it written in old books. (With the result, of course, that I don’t know how to pronounce it.) ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/84 "2024-05-01T03:59:57Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > > [@nightshadea](#): > > > > gigolo is the term these days tho if one is financially supporting the lover > > That’s the word I was trying to think of. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anybody use it, though; only seen it written in old books. (With the result, of course, that I don’t know how to pronounce it.) ‘Jeegolo’, with the stress on the first syllable. Listen here: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/BUsWiIN-LfE/maxresdefault.jpg "David Lee Roth - Just A Gigolo / I Ain't Got Nobody (1985) (Music Video - MTV Version)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUsWiIN-LfE) ---
**Author:** ![scudsucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scudsucker/32/14101_2.png) [@scudsucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scudsucker)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/85 "2024-05-01T05:41:37Z")
A friend of mine was, for a while, a professional gigolo. He’s Israeli so he started out with that bullshit “Red Sea mud” hard-sell beauty treatments in the US (this was the early 2000s, not sure if the scam still exists), and I guess spotted a market opportunity in his clientelle. He does other work now. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/86 "2024-05-01T09:05:07Z")
> [@FrenchDunadan](#): > > “lover” would be “amoureux”, with the sense of sentimental involvement. > “Amant” carry a sense of forbidden act, which would be frowned upon by polite society. > “mon amant” and “mon amoureux” are different in meaning, the first one would be almost shocking to say, but the second is totally fine. At least the way I understand it, “lover” in English just means someone you’re having sex with on a regular basis, with the implication being that you’re of roughly the same social class (so no money is changing hands). Sentimental or emotional involvement may be present, but it’s not required. On the other hand, someone you’re actually in love with would be your “beloved”, whether or not you’re fucking. My French is very poor, but I suspect that “lover” is closer to “amant” than to “amoureux.” ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/88 "2024-05-01T10:18:22Z")
Welcome to the SDMB! I think the “problem” with paramour is that can be male or female. Gigolo might work better but I thought that was a male prostitute which is not quite the same. I don’t think there is a single word that is the same as “mistress” for women keeping a man on the side (that she also supports financially). ---
**Author:** ![FrenchDunadan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frenchdunadan/32/5449_2.png) [@FrenchDunadan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FrenchDunadan)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/89 "2024-05-01T18:24:53Z")
Well my English is poor too ! I tough “Lover” means i’m in love with. Otherwise, amant/lover = physical and amoureux/beloved = sentiments. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/90 "2024-05-01T18:32:59Z")
In American English, we use “make love to”, in the modern idiom, to mean “copulate with” (about a century ago, it was used to mean something more like courting or showing strong affection for). Hence, a “lover” is often someone who makes love to another person, even if the emotional tie between them is weak or absent. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/91 "2024-05-01T18:45:14Z")
“The only way to behave to a woman is to make love to her if she is pretty, and to someone else if she is plain.” —Oscar Wilde, _The Importance of Being Earnest_ ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2024, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/92 "2024-05-01T19:20:38Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > If made-up words for the purpose of the thread count: > > Misteress > Manstress I was going to propose “Mastress” but you effectively beat me to it. (Miss/Mistress, Master/Mastress) Also “Misteress” takes the prize in my view. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2024, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/93 "2024-05-02T01:18:05Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > Also “Misteress” takes the prize in my view. Dat’s me: the misteress wit’ da mostest. Gee I wish. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Jaycat.again](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat.again/32/11525_2.png) [@Jaycat.again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaycat.again)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2024, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/94 "2024-05-02T01:22:13Z")
> [@Lucas\_Jackson](#): > > Big Butter and Egg Man ? He buttered her up, and she egged him on. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2024, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/95 "2024-05-02T02:57:21Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > I was always under the impression that a sugar daddy was supporting the woman financially. I might be wrong. That’s my impression as well. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2024, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/96 "2024-05-02T02:58:50Z")
> [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > So is “gigolo,” but that didn’t stop the producers of that Rob Schneider movie. > [@SuntanLotion](#): > > Would that someone had. 😁 ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2024, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/97 "2024-05-02T05:39:54Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > > [@thorny\_locust](#): > > > > I was always under the impression that a sugar daddy was supporting the woman financially. I might be wrong. > > That’s my impression as well. That is absolutely what it means. Whereas, while a man might be in an extramarital sexual relationship with a mistress, there is no implication that any money is changing hands. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2024, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/98 "2024-05-02T11:47:12Z")
> [@DPRK](#): > > That is absolutely what it means. Whereas, while a man might be in an extramarital sexual relationship with a mistress, there is no implication that any money is changing hands. But there is an implication of class difference. Look at it this way: if a man is sleeping with his secretary, she’s his mistress. But what if a man is sleeping with his business partner? Is she his mistress too? And what if he’s sleeping with his boss? ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2024, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/99 "2024-05-02T12:30:28Z")
I don’t think the term “sugar daddy” would apply to any of those examples. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2024, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/100 "2024-05-02T12:41:43Z")
I don’t think it’s a class difference _exactly_ - I’m not sure how I feel about the business partner or the boss but a co-worker or neighbor would presumably be the same class and still be a mistress. In fact, I’d be really surprised if a maid who was sleeping with the boss was referred to as his mistress. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2024, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/101 "2024-05-02T12:43:51Z")
Could you imagine a man and his mistress going out to dinner together and splitting the bill? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882.md?page=6)