# Word For Male Mistress? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [April 28, 2024, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882 "2024-04-28T21:34:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2024, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/122 "2024-05-09T05:56:47Z")
> [@Babale](#): > > RED Sea mud products, on the other hand… Especially the ones that come from Israel, which has about 6 miles of Red Sea coastline. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2024, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/123 "2024-05-23T06:04:05Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I think modern English doesn’t have a word like the OP seeks. Arguably “paramour” is that (archaic) word, but even then it’s not male-specific. Bumping this to say that in case in Utah, a woman is accused of poisoning her (now late) husband. She had serious money issues, and a lover as well. [Source](https://www.foxnews.com/us/utah-childrens-book-author-sent-damning-text-lover-before-hubby-poison-plot-docs) > [@](#): > > Prosecutors also allege in new charging documents that Kouri texted her “paramour” on the night of Eric’s murder. (quotes in original) All the news reports I’ve read are reporting the unnamed person as her paramour and oven they are in quotes, suggesting that many people aren’t familiar with the term. She seems like quite the catch. Not only did she stand to inherit millions of dollars, she also wrote a children’s book on how to coop with the loss of a parent. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2024, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/124 "2024-05-23T13:14:51Z")
> [@Pardel-Lux](#): > > Sancho seems to be a normal and still common name in Mexico (it sounds a bit old fashioned in my ears), perhaps there was an anecdote or a movie with one of those Sanchos and the name stuck, or perhaps it is a thing like what happened with the name Karen in the USA. I seem to remember something to do with a sidekick. Sancho Panza in Don Quixote. I could see how sidekick could be broadened to mean side piece. The cheating angle explains the Sublime song. _If I could find that hyna And that Sancho that she’s found I’d pop a cap in Sancho and I’d slap her down_ Good band. Always a bit disturbing. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2024, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/125 "2024-05-23T15:37:07Z")
Don’t know the song. Glad you explained how Sancho was extended from Cervantes, I was tilting at windmills trying to figure it out. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2024, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/126 "2024-05-23T15:52:06Z")
Has the term “beach boy” been used in this thread yet? Most destinations for female sex tourism use the term [![](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9e/Female_Sex_Tourism_Map.gif) ](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9e/Female_Sex_Tourism_Map.gif) ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2024, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/127 "2024-05-23T16:05:13Z")
> [@Dr\_Paprika](#): > > Don’t know the song. _Santeria_: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/AEYN5w4T_aM/maxresdefault.jpg "Sublime - Santeria (Official Music Video)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEYN5w4T_aM) ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2024, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/128 "2024-05-24T11:08:40Z")
> [@Die\_Capacitrix](#): > > > [@Monty](#): > > > > Weekend husband > > I thought weekend husband was a husband who lived somewhere else during the week, due to to work, and only came home on weekends. In some industries it’s common for male & female co-workers who travel to pair off. Sometimes totally for work, sometimes for work and friendship, and other times for work and hot steamy monkey action wherever they are. “Work wife” and “work husband” are the terms of art in the US airline biz for this although I expect traveling consulting work also use the terms. The two folks arrange to have matching work schedules insofar as possible then enjoy the convenience of ready-made companionship on the company’s nickel. The gotcha when someone else uses the term is deciding whether they intend all business, just friends, or friends with benefits. At least in airline-land the latter is the 90% case. As to the class or dominance part of "mistress", I'm seeing that more as statistical consequence than feature of side-relationships in general. In most (albeit much less than all) male/female relationships in the West, the male is the more dominant personality, the more dominant economically, and the more dominant socially. So whether the couple is married to each other, both are single and dating, or one or both are married to somebody else, the way to bet is the man is leading the relationship. Or at least thinks he is. Add to that the general belief that men cheat on wives more than women cheat on husbands, and that the sort of folks who cheat are even more likely to be the take-charge sort, and we’d expect most illicit relationships to involve a “mistress” than a “misteress”. @Alessan’s point about the difference between some married man banging his cleaning lady, his secretary, his business partner and his boss is spot on. But the likelihood is that married men bang a lot more cleaning ladies than bosses. If we label all those women as “mistress”, the connotation of “mistress” as social / economic inferior magically appears from the statistics. If it didn’t start out meaning that, soon enough it will. Heck, what’s the English word for the woman when she’s clearly the superior member of the relationship? And especially what’s the word from the man’s POV for that person? IOW “She’s my [fill in the blank].”? Assuming we’re not talking a commercial dominatrix / sub sort of thing. ---
**Author:** ![md-2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9d8465/32.png) [@md-2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/md-2000)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2024, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/129 "2024-05-24T13:21:11Z")
I always assumed the term “work wife” or “work husband” (from what I’ve seen of relatively PG TV) referred more in humor to the fact that two people spend so much time together in the office that it’s almost comparable to how much time as they spend at home with their spouse. Not so much a sexual connotation as an indication of the intensity of the work-together time, familiarity with each other, etc. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2024, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/130 "2024-05-31T19:30:41Z")
Yep. That’s how I know the term. It has nothing to do with traveling together, as I’ve always heard and used it myself. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2024, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/131 "2024-05-31T23:42:12Z")
Maybe in the airline industry it has something to do with choosing matching work schedules etc. The way I’ve always seen it used is something more similar to how partners are portrayed in law enforcement movies and TV shows. They have a close personal and professional relationship, know each others familles, socialize outside of work , bring each other coffee in the morning, that sort of thing. Nothing to do with sex. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2024, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/132 "2024-06-06T14:24:55Z")
> [@doreen](#): > > Maybe in the airline industry it has something to do with choosing matching work schedules etc. Yep. Matching work schedules. Plus paid-for hotel room(s) every night and effectively zero danger of running into spouses or mutual friends of spouses. The industry really is a cheaters’ paradise. I didn’t, many people don’t, but for those so inclined the game is extraordinarily easy and low-risk to play. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2024, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/133 "2024-06-06T14:34:59Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I thought it was Boy-toy. It is. A “ToyBoy” sounds like a blow-up sex doll. LOL ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2024, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882/134 "2024-06-09T12:44:30Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > I’d just like to note that Dead Sea mud products are no more or less of a scam than any other cosmetics. Not exactly, because cosmetics are substances which visually alter the appearance (mostly of the face) to enhance sexual attractiveness. They actually do make the face look smoother, the eyes deeper and younger, mimicking sexual arousal, and so forth. If well done, of course. It’s staging. Dead Sea mud is more of a ‘beauty treatment’ to enhance sexual attractiveness later, after use. There’s a wealth of these products, and except for sunscreen, they are indeed mostly perfectly useless and hence, scams. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-for-male-mistress/1000882.md?page=6)