# word game (conjugate this) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 6, 2000, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-game-conjugate-this/14426 "2000-03-06T13:35:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![melanietarrant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@melanietarrant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melanietarrant)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-game-conjugate-this/14426/1 "2000-03-06T13:35:00Z")
The british philosopher and mathematician Bertrand Russel enjoyed fooling around with the connotations of words. On a BBC radio program called “The Brain Trust”, Russel presented the following conjugation of an irregular verb: I am firm. You are obstinate. He is a pig-headed fool. Writers Digest, a monthly magazine for writers ran a contest inviting readers to submit their best irregular verbs based on Russel’s irreverent model. Each conjugation must proceed from “I” through “you” to “he” or “she” The basic denotation of the concept in each cluster must be maintained. in each triad the connotations must grow increasingly mean-spirited as the conjugation moves from first to second to third person Humor and verbal sparkle earn extra points. Here are some of the best submissions as they appeared in the October 1989 issue of “Writers Digest” I am a concerned parent. You Tend to interfere. She writes in her daughter’s diary I am beautiful. You are pretty. She has a good personality. I have a dream. You are a Dreamer. He lives in a dreamworld I can eat off the floor. You do you best to be clean. She can eat off the floor because her floor is covered with food. I am affectionate. You are libidinous. She has hinges on her heels. As a demonstration of your Denotation-connotation imagination, try creating your own concatenations of irregular verbs. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-game-conjugate-this/14426/2 "2000-03-06T13:38:00Z")
I am exhausted. You are tired. He is lazy. * * * “Though I hate 'em, I’ll defend to my death your right to use smilies.” Forward deployed until 18AUG00 ---
**Author:** ![GrammarNinja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@GrammarNinja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrammarNinja)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-game-conjugate-this/14426/3 "2000-03-06T17:07:00Z")
I am an ethical journalist. You are a journalist who checks his ethics at the door. She is building a shrine to Matt Drudge. * * * “Now you pissed me off. You and I? We’re NEVER gonna be friends.” ---
**Author:** ![TomH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/90db22/32.png) [@TomH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TomH)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-game-conjugate-this/14426/4 "2000-03-06T17:28:00Z")
I am sociable You like a drink He is an alcoholic ---
**Author:** ![aseymayo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@aseymayo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aseymayo)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2000, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-game-conjugate-this/14426/5 "2000-03-07T06:08:00Z")
I am clever. You are bright. She’s a wise-ass. ---
**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2000, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-game-conjugate-this/14426/6 "2000-03-07T06:52:00Z")
I have complex emotions. You are moody. He is bipolar. I made a rounding error. You are incorrect. He is full of shit. I enjoy good science fiction. You are a trekkie. He doesn’t have a life. I am unconventional. You are a strange bird. He lived near power lines when he was a kid. I am my boss’s right-hand man. You are a yes-man. He is an ass-kisser. My wife is an exotic beauty. Your wife is a foreigner. His wife needed a green card. My kids are free-spirited. Your kids are juvenile delinquents. His kids should be tried as adults. ---
**Author:** ![aseymayo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@aseymayo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aseymayo)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2000, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-game-conjugate-this/14426/7 "2000-03-07T04:22:00Z")
Good ones, little buddy. I glow. You perspire. He sweats like a pig. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2000, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-game-conjugate-this/14426/8 "2000-03-07T04:55:00Z")
I’m neat. You’re fussy. He’s obsessive. I’m quick with a joke. You’re a joker. He can’t be serious for a second. * * * _Eschew Obfuscation_ ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2000, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-game-conjugate-this/14426/9 "2000-03-07T05:13:00Z")
I post You rant S/he trolls I kid You tease S/he slams I dismiss You ignore S/he didn’t get it I say You claim S/he expects us to believe I know You believe S/he read in Ann Landers I researched You looked it up on the net S/he got an e-mail that said ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2000, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-game-conjugate-this/14426/10 "2000-03-07T05:17:00Z")
I am forthright and honest. You have a tendency to speak your mind. They are tactless boors. * * * Heck is where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh. ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2000, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-game-conjugate-this/14426/11 "2000-03-07T05:38:00Z")
I am sensitive. You take things too personally. He’s a whiner. I am observant. You are nosy. They can’t mind their own damn business. I make observations about my fellow human beings. You gossip. She rips people to shreds behind their backs. Catrandom ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2000, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-game-conjugate-this/14426/12 "2000-03-07T05:54:00Z")
I’m concerned. You’re nervous. They’re crapping their pants. I’m get around a bit. You sleep around. She’s like Dennys- open 24/7. I’m not doing as well in this class as I anticipated. You’re struggling with the material. They’re going to switch their major to Fast Food Engineering. I drive a reasonable amount over the speed limit. You have a lead foot. They are reckless maniacs who should have their licences revoked. I warble a bit when I sing. You could stand a bit of practice. They sound like a cat with its tail caught in the vacuum cleaner. My spouse and I are having a disagreement. You and your spouse are fighting. Oh my god! Somebody call the cops! * * * Heck is where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh. ---
**Author:** ![CalifBoomer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f1d935/32.png) [@CalifBoomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalifBoomer)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2000, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-game-conjugate-this/14426/13 "2000-03-07T05:59:00Z")
Iam you You are me We are the walrus ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2000, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-game-conjugate-this/14426/14 "2000-03-07T06:26:00Z")
Nice posts, all, but the trick is to use an irregular verb, and to use the same one. I am unaware. You are ignorant. He is a dumbass. I have passionate love. You have mindless sex. She has animal lust. * * * It’s not how you pick your nose, it’s where you put the boogers ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2000, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/word-game-conjugate-this/14426/15 "2000-03-07T06:39:00Z")
I am assertive. You are aggressive. She is bitchy. I am the center of my man’s world. You are high-maintenence. She is a psycho-slut. I am intuitive. You are erratic. She is scatterbrained.