# Words I never want to hear in a commercial again **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 5, 2010, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-i-never-want-to-hear-in-a-commercial-again/545642 "2010-07-05T22:27:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![llazzllo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a698b9/32.png) [@llazzllo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llazzllo)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-i-never-want-to-hear-in-a-commercial-again/545642/141 "2010-07-10T06:05:31Z")
Oh yeah, and I could really live without made-up words like “Hospitaliano”. ---
**Author:** ![llazzllo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a698b9/32.png) [@llazzllo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llazzllo)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-i-never-want-to-hear-in-a-commercial-again/545642/142 "2010-07-10T06:44:50Z")
“Apply directly to the forehead!” I just can’t wait til these guys throw their hats into the ED ring! ---
**Author:** ![llazzllo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a698b9/32.png) [@llazzllo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llazzllo)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-i-never-want-to-hear-in-a-commercial-again/545642/143 "2010-07-10T06:51:14Z")
OK, last one and I’m done for the night: There used to be an ad for a Herpes drug that started off “Four pills a DAY??!! I can’t do that! I have a life!” I always wanted to scream at them ‘No you don’t, you have herpes!’ and how ungrateful can you be? Don’t you think AIDS and Cancer patients wouldn’t gladly trade body parts for a cure that required four pills a day? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-i-never-want-to-hear-in-a-commercial-again/545642/144 "2010-07-10T09:30:44Z")
> [@llazzllo](#): > > OK, last one and I’m done for the night: > > There used to be an ad for a Herpes drug that started off “Four pills a DAY??!! I can’t do that! I have a life!” When the first Boniva ads came out, Sally Field was whining about the inconvenience of taking a one pill _a week_. She just couldn’t find the time! ---
**Author:** ![EllisDee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellisdee/32/4531_2.png) [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-i-never-want-to-hear-in-a-commercial-again/545642/145 "2010-07-10T11:08:25Z")
I think that actually is inconvenient because you have to take it when you wake up and you can’t have caffeine for an hour after you take it, so it is a weekly annoyance for any coffee drinker. (At least, if that’s the same drug my mom was complaining about last Thanksgiving. The alternative is, IIRC, a monthly pill that requires two hours before coffee, which she couldn’t imagine dealing with.) ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-i-never-want-to-hear-in-a-commercial-again/545642/146 "2010-07-10T11:29:30Z")
> [@Staver808](#): > > Sorry, I don’t think I was clear earlier. I don’t disagree with you or this point. My question is when they say “There’s a **rare** chance of X occuring.” I want to know how they define rare. Is there a maximum percentage that can be declared as rare? Oh, hmm. I’ll have to check with someone I know and see if there’s anything on this that she knows of. She works in pharmacology and is also on our workplace’s Institutional Review Board with me. She typically does a lot of editing on reviewed consent forms in the “side effects” sections, so she might have an idea about what percentages are assigned to what categories. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-i-never-want-to-hear-in-a-commercial-again/545642/147 "2010-07-10T11:32:00Z")
> [@EllisDee](#): > > I think that actually is inconvenient because you have to take it when you wake up and you can’t have caffeine for an hour after you take it, so it is a weekly annoyance for any coffee drinker. (At least, if that’s the same drug my mom was complaining about last Thanksgiving. The alternative is, IIRC, a monthly pill that requires two hours before coffee, which she couldn’t imagine dealing with.) With some of them you also are supposed to stand and preferably not even sit down for an hour or more, which could be tough on an elderly woman with osteoporosis first thing in the morning. (I thought someone had posted here before that they had a whole lot of GI pain after not adhering to this.) There’s actually a once-yearly IV infusion - which you have to go to the doctor’s office for - that’s being marketed as a **positive alternative** to the pills as a result. ---
**Author:** ![EllisDee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellisdee/32/4531_2.png) [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-i-never-want-to-hear-in-a-commercial-again/545642/148 "2010-07-10T11:41:23Z")
That standing/sitting thing sounds familiar, so yeah, I think that’s what she was complaining about. That would be quite annoying to deal with every week. ---
**Author:** ![wanderer2575](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/2acd7d/32.png) [@wanderer2575](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wanderer2575)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-i-never-want-to-hear-in-a-commercial-again/545642/149 "2010-07-10T14:30:59Z")
1. “All new.” As opposed to partially new? Especially irritating in promos for TV show episodes. 2. “Less” instead of “fewer.” 3. Not words, but an image: The cliched and totally irrelevant scenes of grandma or granddad with the grandkids, walking in the park or playing in the backyard, while the announcer tells you to talk with your doctor to see if such-and-such drug is right for you. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-i-never-want-to-hear-in-a-commercial-again/545642/150 "2010-07-10T14:45:22Z")
> [@llazzllo](#): > > OK, last one and I’m done for the night: > > There used to be an ad for a Herpes drug that started off “Four pills a DAY??!! I can’t do that! I have a life!” I always wanted to scream at them ‘No you don’t, you have herpes!’ and how ungrateful can you be? Don’t you think AIDS and Cancer patients wouldn’t gladly trade body parts for a cure that required four pills a day? I remember that commercial. “Five pills a day? For five days? Who has time for that? Not me, I have a life.” Because taking a pill is _such_ an inconvenience. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-i-never-want-to-hear-in-a-commercial-again/545642/151 "2010-07-10T15:59:53Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > With some of them you also are supposed to stand and preferably not even sit down for an hour or more, which could be tough on an elderly woman with osteoporosis first thing in the morning. Sitting is OK, [according to the directions (PDF](http://www.gene.com/gene/products/information/boniva/pdf/pi.pdf)): > [@](#): > > To facilitate delivery to the stomach and thus reduce the potential for esophageal irritation, BONIVA tablets should be swallowed whole with a full glass of plain water (6 to 8 oz) while the patient is standing or sitting in an upright position. Patients should not lie down for 60 minutes after taking BONIVA (see WARNINGS AND PRECAUTIONS [5.1]). > > … > > The risk of severe esophageal adverse experiences appears to be greater in patients who lie down after taking oral bisphosphonates and/or who fail to swallow it with the recommended full glass (6-8 oz) of water, and/or who continue to take oral bisphosphonates after developing symptoms suggestive of esophageal irritation. Therefore, it is very important that the full dosing instructions are provided to, and understood by, the patient (see DOSAGE AND ADMINISTRATION [2.2]). ---
**Author:** ![DonLogan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/51bf81/32.png) [@DonLogan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DonLogan)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-i-never-want-to-hear-in-a-commercial-again/545642/152 "2010-07-10T19:15:58Z")
[Blanking] [something]…one [blank] at a time. ---
**Author:** ![DonLogan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/51bf81/32.png) [@DonLogan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DonLogan)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-i-never-want-to-hear-in-a-commercial-again/545642/153 "2010-07-10T19:26:47Z")
> [@Lord\_Ashtar](#): > > This isn’t a word I don’t want to hear again, but an image. Ever see those commercials where someone is eating something that everyone and their mother has eaten before and they get a look on their face like it’s the absolute most amazing thing they’ve ever tasted? In particular, I remember a Honey Nut Cheerios commercial from a few years ago where a lady took a bite, her eyes widened, and this slow smile took her face like she was taken aback at how surprisingly delicious (dare I say decadent?) this amazing cereal is. I like Honey Nut Cheerios and all, but they aren’t _ **that** _ good. **ACTING!** _ **Thank you!** _ I’d like to sit in on one of those auditions, it’d be hilarious. And where do the actors get that look from? I remember reading about a common shot at the end of soap opera scenes where someone else has just delivered a line and they cut to an actor and the actor’s got to muse over the line just delivered. They call it “taking a moment”. And one actress said when she has to “take a moment”, she does it by thinking to herself “Hmmm, did I leave the oven on?” Or how’d you like to be one of those shopping network hosts when they have some chef on and the host has to eat some barely-cooked whatever-it-is and make the O face? ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-i-never-want-to-hear-in-a-commercial-again/545642/154 "2010-07-10T20:40:28Z")
period tampon feminine itch breast health breast milk bone health certain part of the male anatomy erectile dysfunction E.D. jock itch well qualified icy cold epiduo gel I’m \_\_\_\_\_ and I approve this message ---
**Author:** ![DonLogan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/51bf81/32.png) [@DonLogan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DonLogan)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-i-never-want-to-hear-in-a-commercial-again/545642/155 "2010-07-10T20:52:33Z")
> [@Lord\_Ashtar](#): > > I remember that commercial. “Five pills a day? For five days? Who has time for that? Not me, I have a life.” Because taking a pill is _such_ an inconvenience. There’s an ad for a birth control pill that results in women only having a period every three months. Right after the narrator says that, it cuts to a smiling woman saying with total confidence, “That’s four periods a year.” I always want to find that woman and whisper in her ear, “With math skills like that, you really should be reproducing…” ---
**Author:** ![XrXca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/ea666f/32.png) [@XrXca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XrXca)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-i-never-want-to-hear-in-a-commercial-again/545642/156 "2010-07-12T02:05:04Z")
> [@Lord\_Ashtar](#): > > It’s in virtually every car commercial in huge bolded font flying across the screen along with “safety” and “style”, usually with the implication that this make of car is the only one that has any of the above. Does anyone ever really base their car buying decision on “Safety”, I had to tell a salesman exactly where to go and how to get there last time I was looking at cars as every time I got near a car he started spouting about how it had this that and the other safety feature, I really don’t care, and how every car on the lot was the safest I’ll never know. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-i-never-want-to-hear-in-a-commercial-again/545642/157 "2010-07-12T05:57:46Z")
> [@EllisDee](#): > > Reminds me of Abilify, which has the world’s worst possible side effect as far as I’m concerned. Heart attack, stroke, suicidal thoughts, death by asthma, sleep eating, binge gambling, whatever; those side effects all sound like a walk in the park compared to Abilify’s gold standard: _permanent uncontrollable muscle movements_. I cannot imagine a worse side effect short of massive brain damage. So does every antidepressant. It’s called tarditive dyskinesia. The drugs that have it worst are the anti-psychotics. Oh, and any other medications that deal with dopamine–including some stomach medications, like Reglan, which actually has the highest incidence of movement-based disorders: 20% according to [Wiki](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metoclopramide). And with all of them, the risk is greatly reduced if you titrate up slowly. That way, if do get the symptom, you can get off of the medication before it becomes permanent. Quite a lot of people have taken medicines that have this possible side effect. > [@gaffa](#): > > There is a new circle being built in Hell specifically for marketers who advertise a 25% off sale as “Buy one, get a second for 50% off!”. It is made far more evil by being advertised as: > > Buy one, get a second for > > 50% off! > > I saw “In a world…” used in a theater pre-show ad two days ago for Lowes. It’s not the same thing as 25% off. If you believe that, you’ve fallen for the trick, too. It’s **up to** 25% off **if you buy two items**. The point is to get you to spend more money that you normally would. As for the up to: remember that it’s always 50% off a second item of **equal or lesser value**. It’s only 25% if the items are exactly equal in price. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-i-never-want-to-hear-in-a-commercial-again/545642/158 "2010-07-12T13:18:32Z")
Sorry if this one was mentioned already: “X easy payments of only $Y!” I know this is a type of scam that takes advantage of stupid people. Just because you pay $100 $24.99 at a time doesn’t make it any cheaper. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-i-never-want-to-hear-in-a-commercial-again/545642/159 "2010-07-12T14:57:24Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > I know this is a type of scam that takes advantage of stupid people. Just because you pay $100 $24.99 at a time doesn’t make it any cheaper. I call this a tax on the innumerate. I saw one of those “build your own model of the Cutty Sark” ones where you get one piece a week - I can’t remember the deal specifically but IIRC it would take you a couple of years to finish and cost you well over a thousand pounds. You could probably buy the original Cutty Sark for that much at the moment. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-i-never-want-to-hear-in-a-commercial-again/545642/160 "2010-07-13T07:32:17Z")
I’m completely over the Febreze ads where the feamle lead says something needs to be washed and then she soaks it in Febreze… and i’m disgusted. I know it’s a pain to clean upholstery but Sears did our furniture. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-i-never-want-to-hear-in-a-commercial-again/545642.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-i-never-want-to-hear-in-a-commercial-again/545642.md?page=9)