# Words of encouragement for friend who is in Alcoholic Recovery? No one knew..... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 6, 2005, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-of-encouragement-for-friend-who-is-in-alcoholic-recovery-no-one-knew/320369 "2005-09-06T17:19:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-of-encouragement-for-friend-who-is-in-alcoholic-recovery-no-one-knew/320369/21 "2005-09-07T17:11:21Z")
If you’d like some words of encouragement to give him, try these (which is what I told my ex-wife when she admitted to herself that she was an alcoholic and that could no longer control her drinking): “I’ll help you through this process in any way that I can. You’re a great person and I know that you’ll make it.” That was about all I could really say - the hard work of giving up drinking is something that the alcoholic has to do for themselves. I was an Al-Anon member and I supported my ex-wife’s three and four meetings a week efforts, but in the end she was the one that had to do the work. She’s been clean and sober for nearly 10 years. One word of experience - if you’re friend does start working the program, don’t be too surprised if he becomes a little less social, a little more self-involved (at least at the beginning). As I told my ex-wife, "It’s OK to be selfish now - you’ve got to work on _you._ " Wish him good luck, and good luck to you as well. Being a friend or family member to an alcoholic isn’t always alot of fun. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-of-encouragement-for-friend-who-is-in-alcoholic-recovery-no-one-knew/320369/22 "2005-09-07T17:11:25Z")
> [@CBCD](#): > > Your friend isn’t an alcoholic because of flaws in his character. You don’t have to be a bad person to become an alcoholic. You will indeed become a bad person the longer you are a drinking alcoholic. Alcoholism erodes your character. > > Good for your friend - I hope he finds the same support through AA that has helped so many other people. So do I. And thanks for the encouragement. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-of-encouragement-for-friend-who-is-in-alcoholic-recovery-no-one-knew/320369/23 "2005-09-07T17:11:56Z")
Another “yay” from someone whose life was saved by AA. (And another suggestion that you find an “open” meeting for him to attend – they tend to less hard-core than Big Book meetings, and thus less scary to newbies.) ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-of-encouragement-for-friend-who-is-in-alcoholic-recovery-no-one-knew/320369/24 "2005-09-07T17:12:18Z")
**Phlosphr** I don’t know much about AA but the people I know who have been to or still attend AA meetings all say it’s what has helped the most. Good for you for reaching out to your friend now that he has confided in you. You can be a great support for him as he decides how he wants to handled his admitted alcoholism. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-of-encouragement-for-friend-who-is-in-alcoholic-recovery-no-one-knew/320369/25 "2005-09-07T23:44:20Z")
I think it’s wonderful that your friend is getting close to being ready to accept help, and I think it’s great that you’re looking to be so supportive, **Phlosphr**. After many, many attempts at rehabs, doing it alone, etc., my dad got sober in AA when I was 14. He died when I was 40, surrounded by his AA friends. ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-of-encouragement-for-friend-who-is-in-alcoholic-recovery-no-one-knew/320369/26 "2005-09-08T00:01:43Z")
You may want to do a search on the SDMB and read some of the many threads about alcohol. [Here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=326637&highlight=alcholism) and [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=323423&highlight=disease) is my own thread from a few months ago. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-of-encouragement-for-friend-who-is-in-alcoholic-recovery-no-one-knew/320369.md?page=1)