# Words to laugh by **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 22, 2007, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-laugh-by/393244 "2007-02-22T17:13:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2017, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-laugh-by/393244/101 "2017-03-15T06:25:59Z")
Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach. Those who can’t teach, teach gym. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_stainless_steel_rat/32/5727_2.png) [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stainless_Steel_Rat)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2017, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-laugh-by/393244/102 "2017-03-15T13:40:19Z")
These belong in any compilation like this: [The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries | Schlock Mercenary Wiki | Fandom](http://schlockmercenary.wikia.com/wiki/The_Seventy_Maxims_of_Maximally_Effective_Mercenaries) my favorites: A Sergeant in motion outranks a Lieutenant who doesn’t know what’s going on. Everything is air-droppable at least once. The longer everything goes according to plan, the bigger the impending disaster. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2017, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-laugh-by/393244/103 "2017-03-15T16:13:35Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > See my sig. > > Regards, > Shodan > > * * * > > “The road to truth is long, and lined the entire way with annoying bastards.” - Alexander Jablokov Huh. I always thought your sig was “Regar–” well, _you_ know… ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2017, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-laugh-by/393244/104 "2017-03-15T16:38:25Z")
I’ve said this in another thread, I think, but: When all you have is a bat, everything looks like a pinata. ---
**Author:** ![Ryanmiaku](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bc8723/32.png) [@Ryanmiaku](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryanmiaku)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-laugh-by/393244/105 "2017-03-16T15:41:09Z")
Lord give me patience, for if you give me strength I will break them Not an exact quote, but close enough ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-laugh-by/393244/106 "2017-03-16T22:20:07Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > “Quando omni flunkus moritati.” Nice one! If the women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy! -Red Green ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2017, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-laugh-by/393244/107 "2017-03-17T00:05:10Z")
I paraphrase an oldie into: Time wounds all heels. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2017, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-laugh-by/393244/108 "2017-03-17T00:48:07Z")
To paraphrase a Chief Master Sergeant in one of my old squadrons: Alcohol doesn’t change who you are, it just emphasizes it. If you’re a belligerent asshole, maybe you shouldn’t drink. ---
**Author:** ![Kropotkin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kropotkin/32/18045_2.png) [@Kropotkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kropotkin)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2017, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-laugh-by/393244/109 "2017-03-18T01:29:30Z")
Rome wasn’t burnt in a day. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2017, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-laugh-by/393244/110 "2017-03-18T02:49:40Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > To paraphrase a Chief Master Sergeant in one of my old squadrons: > > Alcohol doesn’t change who you are, it just emphasizes it. If you’re a belligerent asshole, maybe you shouldn’t drink. George Carlin would say this – about cocaine. ---
**Author:** ![Why\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b782af/32.png) [@Why\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_Child)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2017, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-laugh-by/393244/111 "2017-03-18T11:16:15Z")
It is better to have loved and lost, than to be stuck with that psycho for the rest of your life. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2017, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-laugh-by/393244/112 "2017-03-18T14:56:21Z")
Change the name and the tale is told about you. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2017, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-laugh-by/393244/113 "2017-03-18T18:04:36Z")
> [@swampspruce](#): > > Nice one! > If the women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy! > > -Red Green My man! I knew there had to be more than one of us in here. ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e47774/32.png) [@quiltguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2017, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-laugh-by/393244/114 "2017-03-19T21:28:38Z")
“When in panic, or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.” I remember seeing that posted on the wall of an auto mechanic’s shop many years ago. He could’ve posted the following(cold but true) one as well: “A lack of timeliness on your part, does not constitute an emergency on mine.” ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2017, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-laugh-by/393244/115 "2017-03-20T06:16:30Z")
Champagne for my true friends, true pain for my sham friends. ---
**Author:** ![california\_jobcase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2017, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-laugh-by/393244/116 "2017-03-20T15:55:08Z")
Always remember that you are a unique individual, just like everybody else. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2017, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-laugh-by/393244/117 "2017-03-20T17:07:22Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > My man! I knew there had to be more than one of us in here. I’m a man, but I can change. If I have to, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2017, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-laugh-by/393244/118 "2017-03-20T19:08:01Z")
For those of you not in the know…I present [Red Green](http://www.redgreen.com/). Possibly one of the best shows ever. Also [here](https://www.youtube.com/user/RedGreenTV). ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2017, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-laugh-by/393244/119 "2017-03-20T22:58:43Z")
> [@swampspruce](#): > > For those of you not in the know…I present [Red Green](http://www.redgreen.com/). Possibly one of the best shows ever. Also [here](https://www.youtube.com/user/RedGreenTV). For those who already know about the Red Green Show, it’s worth looking up Patrick McKenna (who played Harold); His credentials go beyond “Harold” and are quite impressive. And remember: I’m pullin’ for ya. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-laugh-by/393244.md?page=5)