# Words to Live By: Never Put Fire Ants on Your Genitals **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 13, 2015, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448 "2015-06-13T18:49:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/1 "2015-06-13T18:49:16Z")
Something someone should have told this Thai wanna-be stuntman who had stinging ants dropped down his underwear, with predictable results. Probably not something you want to play at work (even though the naughty bits are - appropriately enough - censored with what appears to be a white hot ball of fire): [Video: Wannabe stuntman dumps fire ants on his genitals... and pays the ultimate price](http://bgr.com/2015/06/12/fire-ants-bite-penis-video/) ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/2 "2015-06-13T19:08:52Z")
I sat on a fire ant once and it was several weeks (WEEKS) before the wound healed and it totally stopped itching. I am not going to watch your video. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/3 "2015-06-13T19:14:23Z")
Once upon a time, I was standing in my Texas garden admiring the blooms, when I sensed something was wrong. Looking down, I saw columns of fire ants ascending my pant legs, drawing a bead on my vulnerable midsection. I had inadvertently stood atop a fire ant mound. I’m told the subsequent mad shakeoff dance was quite entertaining. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/4 "2015-06-13T19:18:49Z")
And there are still some who think it’s cruel to pour molten aluminum down fahr ant holes and make beautiful sculptures thereby. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/5 "2015-06-13T19:22:04Z")
I made the unwitting mistake of standing on a fire ant mound a couple times in my youth. The little buggers wait to bite until they are all assembled. Fortunately for me it was only my feet that were bitten but I can feel this guy’s pain even though I do not possess the same appendage and would never be stupid enough to intentionally set the little formic bastards loose near my nethers. ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/6 "2015-06-13T19:35:21Z")
Well, this is timely. Why, just today, I was planning on putting fire ants on my genitals. Thanks for the warning! ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/7 "2015-06-13T19:38:49Z")
> [@fachverwirrt](#): > > Well, this is timely. Why, just today, I was planning on putting fire ants on my genitals. > > Thanks for the warning! You’re welcome! ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/8 "2015-06-13T20:01:51Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > And there are still some who think it’s cruel to pour molten aluminum down fahr ant holes and make beautiful sculptures thereby. We call those people, “Yankees”. People who’ve been bit by fire ants might consider using a missile to get rid of the little bastards. I have a couple of scars on my foot from being bitten ten years ago. (Not my only bites, just the most recent and dramatic.) This past winter, when we got our full annual snowfall of 100+" in less than six weeks, I thought, “Still, no fire ants or giant flying cockroaches!” as I shoveled out my car for the umpteenth time. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/9 "2015-06-13T20:04:02Z")
Don’t stick it in the crazy… don’t stick it in a Vestal Virgin… don’t stick it in a nest of fire ants… Is there no safe place to stick a dick these days? ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/10 "2015-06-13T20:13:26Z")
So **Colibri** , I know your more of a bird guy, but you probably know more about this stuff than I do. In your opinion, what kind of ant is best for genital application? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/11 "2015-06-13T20:24:02Z")
> [@fachverwirrt](#): > > So **Colibri** , I know your more of a bird guy, but you probably know more about this stuff than I do. In your opinion, what kind of ant is best for genital application? I would avoid Honey Pot Ants. Most likely it’s a trap by law enforcement. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/12 "2015-06-13T20:27:39Z")
Headline read: “Video: Wannabe stuntman dumps fire ants on his genitals… and pays the ultimate price” They had to amputate? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/13 "2015-06-13T20:28:10Z")
> [@fachverwirrt](#): > > So **Colibri** , I know your more of a bird guy, but you probably know more about this stuff than I do. In your opinion, what kind of ant is best for genital application? I think you’d also want to avoid army ants and bullet ants. Maybe you could try carpenter ants, they like wood? ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/14 "2015-06-13T20:46:51Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > I think you’d also want to avoid army ants and bullet ants. Maybe you could try carpenter ants, they like wood? Once you go black ant, you never go back … ant. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/15 "2015-06-13T20:52:33Z")
The only good fire ant is a dead fire ant. Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/16 "2015-06-13T20:53:13Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > And there are still some who think it’s cruel to pour molten aluminum down fahr ant holes and make beautiful sculptures thereby. Are you kidding? That guy deserves a Macarthur genius grant. Makes gorgeous sculptures and kills fire ants. I like to look at his work and imagine that I can hear the tiny screams. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/17 "2015-06-13T20:55:03Z")
I was by no means posting that as agreement with the sentiment. Molten aluminum isn’t nearly hot enough. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/18 "2015-06-13T21:02:57Z")
Don’t we have a poster named Ants on Genitals? Or is that a BAND NAME!? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/19 "2015-06-13T21:06:40Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > People who’ve been bit by fire ants might consider using a missile to get rid of the little bastards. Not to be a Yankee Pedant or nuthin’\*, but the fire ant bite is negligible. It’s the sting they employ after biting to get ahold of you that really smarts. \*after nearly 15 years back above the Mason-Dixon line, I still get a mild fight-or-flight reaction whenever I see an ant crawling on me. ---
**Author:** ![Zeke\_N.Destroi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/4af34b/32.png) [@Zeke\_N.Destroi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeke_N.Destroi)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/20 "2015-06-13T21:26:26Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > … don’t stick it in a Vestal Virgin… > > Is there no safe place to stick a dick these days? If you know of one PM me. I’m willing to risk Vesta’s wrath:cool: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448.md?page=2)