# Words to Live By: Never Put Fire Ants on Your Genitals **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 13, 2015, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448 "2015-06-13T18:49:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/21 "2015-06-13T21:34:13Z")
Why is it you rarely see women do shit like this? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/22 "2015-06-13T22:15:46Z")
> [@fachverwirrt](#): > > So **Colibri** , I know your more of a bird guy, but you probably know more about this stuff than I do. In your opinion, what kind of ant is best for genital application? In my considered opinion, the best kind of ants to apply to one’s genitals is no ants. However, if one were considering to put fire ants down one’s underpants, it might be a good idea to put some[tawny crazy ants](http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-rise-of-the-crazy-ants/)down there first. They have a natural antidote to fire ant venom. > [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > Are you kidding? That guy deserves a Macarthur genius grant. Makes gorgeous sculptures and kills fire ants. I like to look at his work and imagine that I can hear the tiny screams. [The casts are quite attractive.](http://www.anthillart.com/) For your viewing pleasure, [here’s the process.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGJ2jMZ-gaI) > [@Wile\_E](#): > > I think you’d also want to avoid army ants and bullet ants. I’ve been stung by fire ants, bullhorn acacia ants, army ants, and bullet ants. Bullet ants are by far the worst. The star of the video, if he is indeed an aspiring stuntman, seems to be Unclear on the Concept. The whole idea of being a stunt man is to _appear_ to do some dangerous and painful thing, _but not actually get hurt_ in the process. Just doing some dangerous and painful thing for real just means you’re an idiot. ---
**Author:** ![peg4x4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6de8d8/32.png) [@peg4x4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peg4x4)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/23 "2015-06-13T23:16:21Z")
When I Win the Lottery I’m gonna buy one of those casts! ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/24 "2015-06-13T23:38:57Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > And there are still some who think it’s cruel to pour molten aluminum down fahr ant holes and make beautiful sculptures thereby. Though it’s interesting to think that, at one time, [aluminum was a precious metal](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Washington_Monument#Aluminum_apex). Now it’s just being used for the jollies of killin’ ants. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/25 "2015-06-13T23:39:02Z")
> [@Honey](#): > > Why is it you rarely see women do shit like this? Because statistically speaking they get paid less. Those big bucks don’t come without a price ya know. ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2015, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/26 "2015-06-14T01:21:25Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > This past winter, when we got our full annual snowfall of 100+" in less than six weeks, I thought, “Still, no fire ants or giant flying cockroaches!” as I shoveled out my car for the umpteenth time. That’s right! And no termites. No scorpions. No killer snakes. And no fucking palm trees that drop coconuts on your genitals. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2015, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/27 "2015-06-14T16:44:52Z")
I feel badly for that gentleman. I’m sure that’s gotta hurt worse than Super Hot Thai food the next morning. ---
**Author:** ![california\_jobcase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2015, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/28 "2015-06-14T17:15:53Z")
Yes,\*\* Jackmanii\*\*, it’s the fire ant sting that causes the pain and pustules. To add, ants are hymenopterans, as are bees and wasps. I guess it’s worth adding that all hymenopteran stings are administered by females, as the males have no stingers. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2015, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/29 "2015-06-14T17:40:14Z")
Never put your cousin’s Aunt on your genitals. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2015, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/30 "2015-06-14T17:50:50Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > I feel badly for that gentleman. I’m sure that’s gotta hurt worse than Super Hot Thai food the next morning. Then again, he probably had Super Hot Thai food before the stunt too. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2015, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/31 "2015-06-14T18:29:20Z")
And [Never Put Salt in Your Eyes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R15LkyO8gq8). ---
**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2015, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/32 "2015-06-14T19:09:54Z")
I don’t know anything about Thai Culture, did he say “Here hold my beer.” before doing this? Did they have to do a penectomy? ---
**Author:** ![Patch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Patch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patch)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2015, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/33 "2015-06-14T19:54:34Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > The star of the video, if he is indeed an aspiring stuntman, seems to be Unclear on the Concept. The whole idea of being a stunt man is to _appear_ to do some dangerous and painful thing, _but not actually get hurt_ in the process. Just doing some dangerous and painful thing for real just means you’re an idiot. So we should be seeing Steve-O and Johnny Knoxville joining in any time now. ---
**Author:** ![Patch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Patch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patch)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2015, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/34 "2015-06-14T19:56:31Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > Are you kidding? That guy deserves a Macarthur genius grant. Makes gorgeous sculptures and kills fire ants. I like to look at his work and imagine that I can hear the tiny screams. Yeah, let’s see the little fuckers evolve to survive **that**. Though if they do, I fully support manned missions to Mars. I’m not sticking around to see what they do next. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![OffByOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/45deac/32.png) [@OffByOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OffByOne)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2015, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/35 "2015-06-15T14:10:46Z")
> [@Honey](#): > > Why is it you rarely see women do shit like this? They’re not trying to impress women… ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2015, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/36 "2015-06-15T14:27:39Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > The only good fire ant is a dead fire ant. > > Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant. So you’re saying I should put a pink panther in my unders instead? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2015, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/37 "2015-06-15T16:20:44Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > Though it’s interesting to think that, at one time, [aluminum was a precious metal](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Washington_Monument#Aluminum_apex). Now it’s just being used for the jollies of killin’ ants. We’re in the age of Enlightenment. Finding a better use for our resources is a good thing. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2015, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/38 "2015-06-15T19:33:02Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > [The casts are quite attractive.](http://www.anthillart.com/) [Cast #072](http://www.anthillart.com/castings/072/) looks like a Christmas Tree. (An [Aluminum Christmas Tree!](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AluminumChristmasTrees)) An Aluminum Christmas Tree…of Pain! ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2015, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/39 "2015-06-15T21:33:21Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > [Cast #072](http://www.anthillart.com/castings/072/) looks like a Christmas Tree. (An [Aluminum Christmas Tree!](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AluminumChristmasTrees)) > > An Aluminum Christmas Tree…of Pain! Speckled in rotting ant. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2015, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448/40 "2015-06-15T21:37:16Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Just doing some dangerous and painful thing for real just means you’re an idiot. This should be put in the headstones of nearly every Darwin award winner. There’s a type of Phorid fly that kills Fire ants by laying eggs in their thorax, the larva then eats the ant alive from the inside, finally causing the ant’s head to fall off. \*This should happen to every fire ant _Solenopsis invicta_ aka RIFA in the USA. \*:mad: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-to-live-by-never-put-fire-ants-on-your-genitals/722448.md?page=3)