# Words you just have to mispronounce **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 20, 2015, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-you-just-have-to-mispronounce/715450 "2015-03-20T02:59:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![JcWoman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jcwoman/32/2889_2.png) [@JcWoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JcWoman)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-you-just-have-to-mispronounce/715450/81 "2015-03-23T15:10:10Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > I often say “Ukrainian Tire” instead of Canadian Tire. And after I heard my friend mispronounce a certain state’s name, it’ll always be New Ham Sphere to me. My preference is to pronounce it New Hampster. I also like to sometimes stay at the Hampster Inn when I travel. This thread makes me remember the episode of the IT Crowd where Jen reveals that she can’t pronounce the word pedestal. Roy: \ “I’m sorry, what? Peddle-stool?” Jen: “That’s right, peddlestool.” Roy: “It’s pedestal, Jen. Ped-es-tel”. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-you-just-have-to-mispronounce/715450/82 "2015-03-23T16:27:31Z")
> [@GreenElf](#): > > and John Cougar Mellonhead Did he used to date Molly Ringworm? And of course my brother and I giggled about having fish dicks (fish sticks) for dinner and our mom not realizing what was so funny. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-you-just-have-to-mispronounce/715450/83 "2015-03-23T18:21:06Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > Uranus. It has two correct pronunciations, one of which is an unfortunate homonym in English. I prefer the other, arguably more correct pronunciation _YERunniss_, so that the elephant in the room isn’t invoked even momentarily. You could always call it “George”, which is what William Herschel, who discovered it, wanted to do. He was sucking up to his Royal Sponsor, King George III of England. Wiser heads prevailed, and it was eventually given a classical name, without regards to the sensibilities of our inner ten year olds a couple of centuries later. If you don’t like “George”, you can call it “Hershel” instead, which is what Herschel’s contemporary scientists wanted to do. But your inner ten year old will just convert that to “Herschell Highway,” and you’d be back where you started. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby\_Slippers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/94ad74/32.png) [@Ruby\_Slippers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby_Slippers)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-you-just-have-to-mispronounce/715450/84 "2015-03-23T19:21:10Z")
My husband couldn’t remember the exact name of a Tom Selleck TV show he likes, so he came up with “Blue Balls,” which is what both of us have called it ever since. ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-you-just-have-to-mispronounce/715450/85 "2015-03-23T23:40:41Z")
Floridia and Canadia. Everyone laughs. Not really. The kids used to correct me, now they just roll their eyes. ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2015, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-you-just-have-to-mispronounce/715450/86 "2015-03-24T02:42:01Z")
> [@CaptMurdock](#): > > Owing to a reading of _Peanuts_ while very young, I tend to pronounce “gauche” as “GOW-chy.” And of course a better sort of person is “swayve and a boutonnière”. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2015, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-you-just-have-to-mispronounce/715450/87 "2015-03-24T10:55:40Z")
Does no one else refer to hors d’ourves as horse ovaries? mmm ---
**Author:** ![MacCat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maccat/32/216_2.png) [@MacCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacCat)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2015, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-you-just-have-to-mispronounce/715450/88 "2015-03-24T14:10:40Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Does no one else refer to hors d’ourves as horse ovaries? You must mean Horse Do-Overs… ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2015, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-you-just-have-to-mispronounce/715450/89 "2015-03-24T17:12:44Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > You could always call it “George”, which is what William Herschel, who discovered it, wanted to do. > He was sucking up to his Royal Sponsor, King George III of England. Wiser heads prevailed, and it was eventually given a classical name, without regards to the sensibilities of our inner ten year olds a couple of centuries later. > If you don’t like “George”, you can call it “Hershel” instead, which is what Herschel’s contemporary scientists wanted to do. > But your inner ten year old will just convert that to “Herschell Highway,” **and you’d be back where you started.** At yer – oh, never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2015, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-you-just-have-to-mispronounce/715450/90 "2015-03-24T17:20:42Z")
I say “warsh” instead of “wash.” My relatives in South Dakota all say it and I liked the way it sounds. My wife hates it. She would always refer to baseball player Placido Polanco as “Placebo Placenta.” ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2015, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-you-just-have-to-mispronounce/715450/91 "2015-03-24T19:52:39Z")
I’ve trained myself to pronounce “either” as “eye-thur” instead of “ee-thur”. I pause a half-breath to make sure I pronounce “wash” as “wash” and not “warsh” as I used to. I pronounce “furneaux” as “fur knee ox”, “fajitas” as “fa-jeeh-tas”, and “Mexia” as “meks-ee-ah”, “Alma” as “aaowl-mu”, “Doughnuts” as “dog nuts”, and “Hors d’ouvres” as “Whores d’Overs” to be silly. I pronounce “February” as “Febuary”. I pronounce “SteinMart” as “Stain Mart”. I think “cat as trophy” but say catastrophe. I’m hear “Asperger’s” pronounced “ASS-burgers” (not derogatorily, just incorrectly), but pronounce it myself as “ASS-per-gers”. I’m toying with using the English pronunciation of “ass-PER-jers”. And then there’s the story of the European who came to America only to return when he read “Bazaar Pronounced Success”! ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2015, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-you-just-have-to-mispronounce/715450/92 "2015-03-24T19:59:53Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > Ah yes, _"Pubics, where shopping is a pleasure. "_ Special on crabs today. Or would that be see-rabs? ---
**Author:** ![kath94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/67e7ee/32.png) [@kath94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kath94)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2015, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-you-just-have-to-mispronounce/715450/93 "2015-03-24T23:08:42Z")
I tend to make fun of place names. Like Homo Depot or Fart & Sminal. I think if I called them by their proper names, my husband wouldn’t have any idea what I meant. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-you-just-have-to-mispronounce/715450/94 "2015-03-25T02:10:58Z")
\*\*Anusol \*\* Hemmorrhoid cream. Pronounced “ANN you saul” in all the commercials. Who do they think they’re fooling? “ANUS hole” sez me. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-you-just-have-to-mispronounce/715450/95 "2015-03-25T03:28:37Z")
> [@kath94](#): > > I tend to make fun of place names. Like Homo Depot or Fart & Sminal. I think if I called them by their proper names, my husband wouldn’t have any idea what I meant. Bloodbath and Beyond. ---
**Author:** ![Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dread_pirate_jimbo/32/3897_2.png) [@Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dread_Pirate_Jimbo)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-you-just-have-to-mispronounce/715450/96 "2015-03-25T05:22:46Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > I often say “Ukrainian Tire” instead of Canadian Tire. And after I heard my friend mispronounce a certain state’s name, it’ll always be New Ham Sphere to me. We generally go with “Crappy Tire.” Seems fitting based on my experiences trying to get cars serviced there. 🙂 > [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > What’s an ‘ackman’? > > 'Cause I keep hearing about a ‘huge ackman’. Do you mean Huge Assman? He’s that actor who plays Wolverine. > [@gigi](#): > > Bloodbath and Beyond. We use that too! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-you-just-have-to-mispronounce/715450/97 "2015-03-25T10:54:13Z")
Store my wife shops at: **Bed, Bath, and Bullshit** Shows my wife watches: \*\*What Not To Watch \*\*(What Not To Wear) **Say No To the Show** (Say Yes To the Dress) **Project Run Away** (Project Runway) mmm ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-you-just-have-to-mispronounce/715450/98 "2015-03-25T11:18:28Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > I still use the term “hiney-lick manuever” from that old joke. Per an old boss of mine, that’s the Hemlock Maneuver. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-you-just-have-to-mispronounce/715450/99 "2015-03-25T11:34:33Z")
My list: When I was 3ish, those things that got water off the car window were windmill shwipers. It became a family in-joke. Where I live, Powhatan is a common geographic name. I say ‘PO-what-an’. Those annoying puntable dogs are alternately ‘she-wa-was’ or ‘cha-hua-huas’. Jalapeno is pronounced ‘jop-a-lano’. Harris Teeter is Hairy Titty. The little bites of food served with cocktails are ‘horse doovers’. Target stores are pronounced ‘tar-zhee’. ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-you-just-have-to-mispronounce/715450/100 "2015-03-25T11:46:17Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > Bloodbath and Beyond. There’s a posh French furniture shop near me called Roche Bobois, which I have to pronounce, in my best Cockney accent, as Rocky Bowboys. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-you-just-have-to-mispronounce/715450.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/words-you-just-have-to-mispronounce/715450.md?page=6)