# Work conundrum **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 22, 2011, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/work-conundrum/575629 "2011-03-22T18:05:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/work-conundrum/575629/21 "2011-03-23T09:23:19Z")
**Lionne** , this scenario is simply proof that money doesn’t give you class, and sycophants have no boundaries. Don’t let it get to you. You’ve been suitably outraged; now blow it off. Making an issue of it just reinstates your lower place on the totem pole. ---
**Author:** ![Lionne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Lionne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lionne)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/work-conundrum/575629/22 "2011-03-23T13:14:43Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > If the customer had said this directly to you, you’d have a valid complaint. That’s not what happened. He said it to a third person, probably hoping to find out if you’re single/available. You massively overreacted, blew things completely out of proportion. And you may have talked/complained yourself out of a job offer at another branch in the process. Having a talk with my boss saying I don’t appreciate comments about my tits being said repeatedly in the workplace is massively overreacting? Sorry, next time I’ll accept a pat on the ass and a nudge back into the kitchen to cook dinner for the menfolk. > [@RaftPeople](#): > > Why is it inappropriate for the client to make that comment to the boss? Because he is my boss - not his friend, not his brother, but someone he conducts business with. If you can’t understand why that’s inappropriate, I don’t think your advice will be much help. > [@RaftPeople](#): > > Here is a question for you: have you ever said to anyone “that man is attractive”? or anything like it? I’ve never said anything remotely crude in a work envirnment to a boss about an employee. I’m not some wilting flower; I know the stuff men and women think. I am objecting to the language used, the environment, and the non-reaction from my boss. > [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > I went out for drinks and to shoot some pool with some co-workers. We were out for several hours and many drinks were ingested. Prior to this event, many events had taken place previously and the verbally agreed upon platform was “what happens outside of work, stays outside of work.” > > One of my co-workers, noticeably sloshed, points his pool cue at my chest and says, “Shit you’ve got a great rack.” I said, “Why, thank you. You may not have it.” > > Did I go whinnying back to our (his) superior at work the following Monday and screech about this guy being sexist and harassing me? Hell no. It was a compliment. Perhaps not worded in some politically-correct, bleached out, whatever way, but give me a break. Some of this “harassment” shit has gone over the deep end. Sexual harassment is a threat. As in, someone has workplace-politics power over you keeping your job, losing your job, or being promoted, and they force you to comply with the sexually inappropriate acts or verbalizations in order for you to keep your job or get that promotion. Has that happened? No. > > Of course there’s a level of decorum that should be kept, especially in a banking environment, perhaps what the “boss” said was inappropriate, but that’s all it was. It was not harassment. He was simply passing on a message, one of which you would still be blindly and happily oblivious to if he hadn’t said anything. Believe me, he regrets it now. After hours, outside of work, in a drinking environment does not equate to my situation. Had it been so, my reaction would likely be the same as yours. Again, this thread was made for advice. I haven’t “whinnied” to HR about sexual harassment, I talked to my boss and he’ll talk to his boss. If nothing else happens, I’m fine with that. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/work-conundrum/575629/23 "2011-03-23T14:05:16Z")
> [@Lionne](#): > > …he always says “\*\*Lionne \*\*sure has nice tits”! If only the [IMG] tags worked around here. We could all post: _This thread is useless without pics/_ ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/work-conundrum/575629/24 "2011-03-23T15:04:50Z")
> [@Lionne](#): > > Because he is my boss - not his friend, not his brother, but someone he conducts business with. If you can’t understand why that’s inappropriate, People in business relationships talk about all kinds of things that are not business related. Sports, recent events, sex, etc. > [@](#): > > I don’t think your advice will be much help. It’s entirely possible that if I did give you advice (which I haven’t), it would not be much help. But the reason for it not being much help might possibly be different than the reason you think. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/work-conundrum/575629/25 "2011-03-23T16:06:56Z")
Your boss is at fault here. You have no idea if the customer ever said anything. What he said is inappropriate, so you have to tell him that. Start keeping a log of any similar statements. Tell others each time it happens. If it continues, you have to go to HR, and as others mentioned, expect little or no help. After that you may need a lawyer. OTOH, was this an isolated instance? Maybe with the branch closing, your boss’s life is being turned upside down and this was just a single stupid mistake on his part. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/work-conundrum/575629/26 "2011-03-23T16:24:06Z")
> [@Lionne](#): > > he tells me that Mr. X always asks about me, and kinda laughing, tells me he always says “\*\*Lionne \*\*sure has nice tits”! I want to say that I’m of the same feelings as others - the situation is skeevy, your boss should have handled it better, and there’s not much that HR can/will do. That said, what I think is especially disturbing is that this seems to be an ongoing conversation, not just a one time thing, with Mr. X. If it was a one time thing, I think I wouldn’t even feel skeevy about it. The fact that Mr.X is always telling your boss something about your breasts would definitely skeeve me out. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/work-conundrum/575629.md?page=1)