# Worker's Compensation (masturbation) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 8, 2000, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workers-compensation-masturbation/12617 "2000-01-08T05:46:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workers-compensation-masturbation/12617/1 "2000-01-08T05:46:00Z")
Found this on another message board, figured people here would like it as well: \ * * * – Teeming Millions: [http://fathom.org/teemingmillions](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions) “Meat flaps, yellow!” - DrainBead, naked co-ed Twister chat O p a l C a t [www.opalcat.com](http://www.opalcat.com) ---
**Author:** ![Clueless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/35a633/32.png) [@Clueless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clueless)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workers-compensation-masturbation/12617/2 "2000-01-08T06:01:00Z")
What a slut! ---
**Author:** ![Surgoshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Surgoshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surgoshan)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workers-compensation-masturbation/12617/3 "2000-01-08T06:02:00Z")
Get paid for hurting yourself while pleasuring yourself at work! Or you can make a mess [ahem] on the floor, slip on it and fall! It’s worth MILLIONS! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workers-compensation-masturbation/12617/4 "2000-01-08T06:36:00Z")
ROFLMAO!!! Hasn’t this woman ever seen “When Harry Met Sally?” I want what she’s having. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workers-compensation-masturbation/12617/5 "2000-01-08T07:19:00Z")
Well, it’s good to know she wasn’t faking it or anything. I mean, I paid good money, and I expect… Um… Was that my out loud voice? * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workers-compensation-masturbation/12617/6 "2000-01-08T15:20:00Z")
Is anyone else reminded of Suzeanne right now? ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workers-compensation-masturbation/12617/7 "2000-01-08T16:27:00Z")
Nov 99? Yeah, old but fun to read about. Who was she & why doesn’t her name appear in the article? ---
**Author:** ![Shadowfox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Shadowfox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadowfox)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workers-compensation-masturbation/12617/8 "2000-01-08T16:32:00Z")
Handy, if you were this person, would you want your name out there for everybody (including her family) to see? * * * Shadowfox “We are what we pretend to be.” - Kurt Vonnegut ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2000, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workers-compensation-masturbation/12617/9 "2000-01-09T06:31:00Z")
Shadowfox she had no problem letting the folks at workers comp know all about it!! ROTFLMFAO! ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2000, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workers-compensation-masturbation/12617/10 "2000-01-09T06:32:00Z")
“Oh! OH! OH! AHAAAAAAA!!!” “Are you coming??” "NO! _My hand is cramping!"_ ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2000, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workers-compensation-masturbation/12617/11 "2000-01-09T06:42:00Z")
This is reminding me of one of the funniest jokes from The Man Show-- “seven times a day? Isn’t that a bit light?” * * * “I’m just too much for human existence – I should be animated.” –Wayne Knight ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2000, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workers-compensation-masturbation/12617/12 "2000-01-09T06:48:00Z")
Damn. I thought this thread was going to give me some insight into a new career field. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2000, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workers-compensation-masturbation/12617/13 "2000-01-09T03:03:00Z")
Workers. . . um, . . . Compensation . . . um, . . . Benefits . . . Kinda gives the idea of multiple sarcasms a whole new meaning. Dr. Watson “Women complain about sex more often than men. Their gripes fall into two major catagories: (1) Not enough, (2) Too much.” – Ann Landers ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2000, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workers-compensation-masturbation/12617/14 "2000-01-09T05:59:00Z")
What bullshit! I don’t believe a word of it, why would SHE be wanking off talking to filthy men? Everyone knows phone sex workers are fat middle-aged bored housewifes with their hair in curlers, they clip coupons and file their nails on the job, for crying out loud! (No, I’m not one, but one was pointed out to me in a supermarket once…) ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2000, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workers-compensation-masturbation/12617/15 "2000-01-09T07:10:00Z")
Handy just wants to know who to ask for! ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2000, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workers-compensation-masturbation/12617/16 "2000-01-09T08:28:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Handy just wants to know who to ask for! Er, um, isn’t \*\*handy[b/] deaf? I wonder if a call would have the same impact via teletype machine. (All in jest, handy!) DHR * * * Why must I feel like that/Why must I chase the cat?/Nothin’ but the dog in me.–George Clinton ---
**Author:** ![Poto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ab992/32.png) [@Poto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poto)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2000, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workers-compensation-masturbation/12617/17 "2000-01-09T13:02:00Z")
So you don’t have actual sex with the phone? I’ve misunderstood. Some of these cell phones could easily be… ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2000, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workers-compensation-masturbation/12617/18 "2000-01-09T15:35:00Z")
… sending quite the electrical currents to certain parts of the body… My cell phone has a vibrating feature… last nite in the movie I turned off the ringer and put the vibrator on in case my sitter called, my friends had a good laugh, because I had it sitting up against my thigh so I would know if it rang or not… _sigh_ it never rang 😉 * * * We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2000, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workers-compensation-masturbation/12617/19 "2000-01-09T16:40:00Z")
Doghouse Reilly, I bet you really want to know the answer to that! I said in the forum many times before, I don’t believe in having sex with a public utility. Some deaf guys I know jerk off to girls in the net chat rooms, that is free. Not surprising, I don’t service their computers anymore. gross. ew! ---
**Author:** ![N\_oR\_jVIaL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce7236/32.png) [@N\_oR\_jVIaL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/N_oR_jVIaL)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2000, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workers-compensation-masturbation/12617/20 "2000-01-09T19:18:00Z")
I wonder if your homeowners insurance would cover an injury, if you got carried away during phone sex and fell out of your chair. It’s probably a good idea to wear a helment, just in case. … safe sex n’ all … [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workers-compensation-masturbation/12617.md?page=2)