# Workplace bitching and backstabbing: Male or Female dominated? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 14, 2012, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-bitching-and-backstabbing-male-or-female-dominated/637671 "2012-10-14T05:28:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-bitching-and-backstabbing-male-or-female-dominated/637671/21 "2012-10-14T16:51:30Z")
> [@Noone\_Special](#): > > Other – I’m one of those people who manage to tune out all the petty office politics and back-stabbing. Because I just don’t want to know. > > Which is **not** a good thing – it means I’m never “in the know” about who is about to be kicked out of where, and what positions may be open, etc… Basically, it means I don’t want to know, and I’m willing to remain a non-manager rather than stick my nose in the fray. Can we start a club? When I started here I was disgusted by the rumors flying around (even about me! And I’m the token “nice guy”). And every time I went out for a beer after work with even the sweetest coworker, I was treated to long, vicious diatribes about other “sweet” coworkers. So I backed off, and now I have no close friends at work, but no drama, either. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-bitching-and-backstabbing-male-or-female-dominated/637671/22 "2012-10-14T17:22:58Z")
I answered “female” and let me be clear, my definition of “backstabbing” never involves doing something for yourself, but intentionally fouling another player in order to makle them look bad. Here’s an example. Years ago when I worked for the late, lamented, Borders, I was in the marketing group and, in order to complete certain projects for Merchandising, I needed them to give me certain information that was in their sole possession. One of the merch staff I worked with would consistently withhold [information] from me, and then report me to management when I failed to produce [project] on schedule for them. Luckily, I was way too smart for that bitch and made all of my numerous (sometimes daily) requests for [information] in writing, and communicated with my managers about the problem. Why would someone sabotage a coworker that they only know incidentally and is in no competition for their job? Honestly, I have no idea, but I’ve only ever seen women do it. ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-bitching-and-backstabbing-male-or-female-dominated/637671/23 "2012-10-14T17:54:27Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Can we start a club? When I started here I was disgusted by the rumors flying around (even about me! And I’m the token “nice guy”). And every time I went out for a beer after work with even the sweetest coworker, I was treated to long, vicious diatribes about other “sweet” coworkers. > > So I backed off, and now I have no close friends at work, but no drama, either. Yeah, but why would we want to join a club that would accept the likes of us…? 😕 (with appologies to Graucho) ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-bitching-and-backstabbing-male-or-female-dominated/637671/24 "2012-10-14T19:11:07Z")
Like **Nava** said, I think it depends on the type of workplace, and maybe on the type of work. I’ve worked pretty much exclusively in engineering groups, and it’s been my experience that the guys do most of the bitching (and there’s a _lot_ of bitching), while the women are generally pretty gung-ho, and I’ve almost never seen any backstabbing within an engineering team by either. The picture is different in other groups, though, from what I’ve seen in my interactions with them. HR seems to run to women who will stab you in the back with a smile and a saccharine platitude and guys who are just punching the clock. Sales is full of bitchy, backstabbing men, while the women–though just as predatory as the men–seem less inclined to screw over each other or other departments. That’s all within the company I currently work for; the patterns were similar at a previous company, but it was much more male-dominated and had a very different market, both of which make a comparison difficult. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-bitching-and-backstabbing-male-or-female-dominated/637671/25 "2012-10-14T19:15:13Z")
I voted _other_. I’m a guy, and while I think in my office it’s _probably_ males, I am obviously not privy to the behavior of women in women-only groups. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-bitching-and-backstabbing-male-or-female-dominated/637671/26 "2012-10-14T19:23:14Z")
> [@LC\_Strawhouse](#): > > Last year I worked with a gentleman named **Phil Kessel** who had been transferred to us from the Boston office because of unspecified character issues. He seemed to be doing great at first but by the end of the year his complaining and lack of effort basically “backstabbed” our group and we were unable to meet the goals we had publicly announced earlier. The hockey player? ---
**Author:** ![LC\_Strawhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@LC\_Strawhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LC_Strawhouse)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-bitching-and-backstabbing-male-or-female-dominated/637671/27 "2012-10-14T19:45:49Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > The hockey player? It was a joke about the [failed](http://sports.nationalpost.com/2012/04/02/michael-traikos-leafs-collapse-casts-a-cloud-over-phil-kessels-season/) Maple Leafs season [last year](http://www.thestar.com/sports/leafs/article/1132024--toronto-maple-leafs-phil-kessel-easiest-to-intimidate-sports-illustrated-poll). (Look at the OP’s user name. ) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-bitching-and-backstabbing-male-or-female-dominated/637671/28 "2012-10-14T19:49:58Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > \ > > Why would someone sabotage a coworker that they only know incidentally and is in no competition for their job? Honestly, I have no idea, but I’ve only ever seen women do it. That’s been my experience working in offices, too - why women would go out of their way to sabotage other people and make everything more difficult for everyone, I don’t know, but that’s who I’ve seen doing it. If I had my preference, I’d take an office full of men over women every time. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-bitching-and-backstabbing-male-or-female-dominated/637671/29 "2012-10-14T20:08:47Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I work in a female-dominated profession, and I am a female. I’ve never experienced bitching or backstabbing to any significant degree. What about that female boss from hell that you had? ---
**Author:** ![Trom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@Trom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trom)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-bitching-and-backstabbing-male-or-female-dominated/637671/30 "2012-10-14T20:31:18Z")
I work with about 80 men and 2 women. 98% of the office drama originates or at least passes through one of the women. I think this woman might be a special case, though. She seems to need social conflict to stay alive. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-bitching-and-backstabbing-male-or-female-dominated/637671/31 "2012-10-14T20:53:01Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > In your opinion, which gender is most likely to instigate or participate in workplace backstabbing, undercutting, and overall bitching? > > Poll coming. Men, at least in corporate world. OTOH, they don’t get as personal about it. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-bitching-and-backstabbing-male-or-female-dominated/637671/32 "2012-10-14T21:10:01Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Can we start a club? When I started here I was disgusted by the rumors flying around (even about me! And I’m the token “nice guy”). And every time I went out for a beer after work with even the sweetest coworker, I was treated to long, vicious diatribes about other “sweet” coworkers. > > So I backed off, and now I have no close friends at work, but no drama, either. Same here. There’s a new guy that keeps on asking me to go out for lunch with him. I keep on making excuses, I brought a lunch, too early for me etc. Now he’s ask me to hang out with him after work. He’s a nice guy we chat at work, share a lot of common interests. But I have a policy: I don’t hang out, date, or party with people I work with. Almost all of the nasty comments come from women where I work, where they try to engage me into some sort of shit-slinging fest regarding another person. I just change the subject right away, it makes it uncomfortable for a second or two but they realize I’m not interested in petty office bullshit. I have hobbies and friends outside of work so leave me out of it. ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-bitching-and-backstabbing-male-or-female-dominated/637671/33 "2012-10-14T23:28:31Z")
I work in a female-dominated place, so I’ve mostly seen and experienced it from women. There are men who do it, though. I would give examples, but I am currently in a workplace situation in which backstabbing and bitching is included, and I really don’t want to go into details, other than to say I’m no longer directly involved. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-bitching-and-backstabbing-male-or-female-dominated/637671/34 "2012-10-14T23:59:03Z")
Now if you asked who **gossips** more in the workplace, I would definitely said men! ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-bitching-and-backstabbing-male-or-female-dominated/637671/35 "2012-10-15T00:17:37Z")
I dunno, I’ve seen it from both sides. I’m now working with my third Credit Thief in less than 20 years. I’ve been backstabbed by both men and women and watched both do it to others, although the Drama quotient is definitely higher when women are involved. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Linctus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Simple\_Linctus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Linctus)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-bitching-and-backstabbing-male-or-female-dominated/637671/36 "2012-10-15T01:14:13Z")
A compairson between the anonymised poll results, and what people are claiming, shows both just how relevant the emperor having no clothes story is, not to mention how important having anonymous voting is for any kind of voting thing. With no comment whatsoever upon the validity of any position, it’s very clear indeed almost everyone from either sex thinks it’s women, even if they don’t have the gumption to say it. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-bitching-and-backstabbing-male-or-female-dominated/637671/37 "2012-10-15T01:38:55Z")
I’ve seen both genders backstab and bitch, and I have seen a bit more from females than males. Now that I’m a whole lot closer to the end of my career than the beginning, my advice to any young person is don’t trust anybody. Office politics is a blood sport- the person you hire today could very well steal your promotion tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-bitching-and-backstabbing-male-or-female-dominated/637671/38 "2012-10-15T01:45:00Z")
> [@Simple\_Linctus](#): > > A compairson between the anonymised poll results, and what people are claiming, shows both just how relevant the emperor having no clothes story is, not to mention how important having anonymous voting is for any kind of voting thing. > > With no comment whatsoever upon the validity of any position, it’s very clear indeed almost everyone from either sex thinks it’s women, even if they don’t have the gumption to say it. Well, it’s clear that YOU think it’s women, anyhow. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-bitching-and-backstabbing-male-or-female-dominated/637671/39 "2012-10-15T02:13:31Z")
> [@Simple\_Linctus](#): > > A compairson between the anonymised poll results, and what people are claiming, shows both just how relevant the emperor having no clothes story is, not to mention how important having anonymous voting is for any kind of voting thing. > > With no comment whatsoever upon the validity of any position, it’s very clear indeed almost everyone from either sex thinks it’s women, even if they don’t have the gumption to say it. Well one, the poll questions lumps bitching and backstabbing together, when two, more than one respondent in the poll has mentioned there are gender differences between the two, but three, moreover, thus is just another SDMB thread which is another excuse for butthurt dudes to whine about what’s wrong with women. But fourthover (pretend that’s a word), I’ve failed by responding your bullshit, so I’ll hang my head and bow out now. So on that note, a bottle of Jamo calls my name. _clink_ ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-bitching-and-backstabbing-male-or-female-dominated/637671/40 "2012-10-15T05:11:29Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > … thus is just another SDMB thread which is another excuse for butthurt dudes to whine about what’s wrong with women. Really? How do you get that out of a thread title that asks you to pick between equal options? The poll question is in no way biased. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-bitching-and-backstabbing-male-or-female-dominated/637671.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-bitching-and-backstabbing-male-or-female-dominated/637671.md?page=3)