# Workplace griping, anyone? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 12, 2010, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-griping-anyone/560401 "2010-11-12T06:39:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 112
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-griping-anyone/560401/2222 "2011-09-28T17:34:25Z")
_sniff_ _sniff_ … what the hell is that sme- Oh. The Scentsy is plugged back in. Grandboss split for lunch already, leaving her lights off, computer logged off … and Scentsy plugged in. Christ, I figured pregnancy nausea would preclude pumping noxious fumes into the air, but I suppose I’d be wrong! I give myself two hours till the headache kicks in. Max. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-griping-anyone/560401/2223 "2011-09-28T17:40:39Z")
> [@Dr.Girlfriend](#): > > Branch manager has taken to doing this creepy lean on my chair/hover over my shoulder thing whenever he comes into my office. \ Of all office behaviours, that might be my least favourite. And hey, as a bonus, he can stare down your shirt as he leans in your personal space! ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-griping-anyone/560401/2224 "2011-09-28T18:02:03Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > _sniff_ > > _sniff_ > > … what the hell is that sme- > > Oh. > > The Scentsy is plugged back in. Grandboss split for lunch already, leaving her lights off, computer logged off … and Scentsy plugged in. Christ, I figured pregnancy nausea would preclude pumping noxious fumes into the air, but I suppose I’d be wrong! > > I give myself two hours till the headache kicks in. Max. [ol] [li]Get a plastic handled screwdriver.[/li][li]Sneak into her office and pull the Scentsy partially out of the socket.[/li][li]Place screwdriver blade over prongs.[/li][li]Short out socket (and maybe the entire circuit).[/li][li]Go home early, 'cause if the circuit is blown your work there may be done.[/li][/ol] (OK, not really, but can you at least unplug it while she’s gone? And if she asks, tell her it was giving you a headache. Seriously, does she not understand how smells can make people sick?) ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-griping-anyone/560401/2225 "2011-09-28T18:33:52Z")
I have a new “neighbor,” and he is a Speakerphone Person, and it DRIVES. ME. BANANAS. There are no conversations that he needs to be having in this particular office environment on a speakerphone. Most of them are personnel-related anyway, and that stuff is supposed to be confidential. Plus, he keeps calling everybody “dude” and “brah” and he really is leaving me no choice but to build a trebuchet out of office supplies so I can drop 400 lbs. of “gently used” paper clips and rubber bands on his head from a great height. Bonus points for me if I can figure out how to set them on fire first. (I really, REALLY dislike dudebros and Speakerphone People.) ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-griping-anyone/560401/2226 "2011-09-28T18:43:25Z")
> [@rockle](#): > > I have a new “neighbor,” and he is a Speakerphone Person, and it DRIVES. ME. BANANAS. There are no conversations that he needs to be having in this particular office environment on a speakerphone. Most of them are personnel-related anyway, and that stuff is supposed to be confidential. Plus, he keeps calling everybody “dude” and “brah” and he really is leaving me no choice but to build a trebuchet out of office supplies so I can drop 400 lbs. of “gently used” paper clips and rubber bands on his head from a great height. Bonus points for me if I can figure out how to set them on fire first. > > (I really, REALLY dislike dudebros and Speakerphone People.) It can’t handle 400 pounds, but you might [try one of these](http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/warfare/81e6/) from Thinkgeek. They’re at least sized to fit on a desktop, and you don’t have to take the roof off to get them into the office. O! And you don’t even need to buy a kit! [Mini Weapons of Mass Destruction](http://www.thinkgeek.com/books/nonfiction/cdfa), assemble them yourself from common objects! I think I’m in love. ---
**Author:** ![PacifistPorcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@PacifistPorcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PacifistPorcupine)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-griping-anyone/560401/2227 "2011-09-28T18:48:22Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > It can’t handle 400 pounds, but you might [try one of these](http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/warfare/81e6/) from Thinkgeek. They’re at least sized to fit on a desktop, and you don’t have to take the roof off to get them into the office. > > O! And you don’t even need to buy a kit! [Mini Weapons of Mass Destruction](http://www.thinkgeek.com/books/nonfiction/cdfa), assemble them yourself from common objects! > > I think I’m in love. When I was building my catapult I found that Lowe’s is pretty much a one stop shop for it. Though I doubt I could sneak it into my office. ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-griping-anyone/560401/2228 "2011-09-28T19:22:17Z")
> [@Dr.Girlfriend](#): > > Branch manager has taken to doing this creepy lean on my chair/hover over my shoulder thing whenever he comes into my office. He’s practically breathing into my ear when he’s looking at my computer. Now I don’t mind when the boyfriend does this, but there’s no one at work I want to get that close to. Other co-workers have reason to come in and see what I’m doing but they have the good sense to pull up the chair next to me. > > Last week when he did this I was on the tail end of a migraine and I told him that if he didn’t quit moving my chair I was gonna puke on his shoes. That got the message across for a couple of days but then he did it again today. > > I just might have let out a S.B.D. while he was hovering today. He split in a hurry. 😃 I had someone at work who did that to me. So, I opened up word, changed the font size to 32 point and typed, ‘Could you back up, please?’ Apparently, he didn’t think it was as funny as I did. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-griping-anyone/560401/2229 "2011-09-28T19:24:48Z")
> [@Dr.Girlfriend](#): > > Branch manager has taken to doing this creepy lean on my chair/hover over my shoulder thing whenever he comes into my office. He’s practically breathing into my ear when he’s looking at my computer. Now I don’t mind when the boyfriend does this, but there’s no one at work I want to get that close to. Other co-workers have reason to come in and see what I’m doing but they have the good sense to pull up the chair next to me. > > Last week when he did this I was on the tail end of a migraine and I told him that if he didn’t quit moving my chair I was gonna puke on his shoes. That got the message across for a couple of days but then he did it again today. > > I just might have let out a S.B.D. while he was hovering today. He split in a hurry. 😃 S.B.D.? ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-griping-anyone/560401/2230 "2011-09-28T19:32:33Z")
Silent But Deadly (fart). You know, one of the ones that are never heard, but that stink like something has died four months ago. Something that clears a room in a hurry. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-griping-anyone/560401/2231 "2011-09-28T19:40:08Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > [ol] > [li]Get a plastic handled screwdriver.[/li][li]Sneak into her office and pull the Scentsy partially out of the socket.[/li][li]Place screwdriver blade over prongs.[/li][li]Short out socket (and maybe the entire circuit).[/li][li]Go home early, 'cause if the circuit is blown your work there may be done.[/li][/ol] > > (OK, not really, but can you at least unplug it while she’s gone? And if she asks, tell her it was giving you a headache. Seriously, does she not understand how smells can make people sick?) Too much trouble. Just plug it into a Clapper. Then clap. ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-griping-anyone/560401/2232 "2011-09-28T19:58:10Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > It can’t handle 400 pounds, but you might [try one of these](http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/warfare/81e6/) from Thinkgeek. They’re at least sized to fit on a desktop, and you don’t have to take the roof off to get them into the office. > > O! And you don’t even need to buy a kit! [Mini Weapons of Mass Destruction](http://www.thinkgeek.com/books/nonfiction/cdfa), assemble them yourself from common objects! > > I think I’m in love. You’re my new B.F.F. Christmas list updated! ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-griping-anyone/560401/2233 "2011-09-28T20:09:48Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Silent But Deadly (fart). You know, one of the ones that are never heard, but that stink like something has died four months ago. Something that clears a room in a hurry. Oh! That’s something I should have know because…er, nevermind…:o ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-griping-anyone/560401/2234 "2011-09-28T20:46:27Z")
We’re fightin’ ignorance left and right 'round here today. ---
**Author:** ![Bri2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/48db29/32.png) [@Bri2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bri2k)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-griping-anyone/560401/2235 "2011-09-28T20:54:22Z")
So at 9:15 this morning the boss sends out an email to the entire team to work stuff I’ve been grinding through pretty much alone for the last three days. When I knocked off for the day, I was still the only one working it. Great teamwork. Thanks a million. Or more accurately, thanks for nothing. Oh and I hit a new low in my “batting average” yesterday. I thought it was only the urinals that jerks were forgetting to flush. If only that were true. I had to use the stall and sheesh what was waiting for me in there looked like a chunk of driftwood. In disgust, Bri2k ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-griping-anyone/560401/2236 "2011-09-28T21:22:38Z")
> [@Dr.Girlfriend](#): > > Branch manager has taken to doing this creepy lean on my chair/hover over my shoulder thing whenever he comes into my office. He’s practically breathing into my ear when he’s looking at my computer. You could always try one of [these](http://www.northernsun.com/No-Hovering-Sticker-(5269).html). ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-griping-anyone/560401/2237 "2011-09-28T21:47:58Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > (OK, not really, but can you at least unplug it while she’s gone? And if she asks, tell her it was giving you a headache. Seriously, does she not understand how smells can make people sick?) I did. (Shh! Don’t tell on me.) And you’d think she would, considering the first words out of her mouth on her return were “Oh my gah! It stinks of popcorn in here! I think I’m gonna throw up.” Best part was, it wasn’t my suite that made the popcorn; it was someone in another office up the hall, because the hallway _reeked_ of it but our suite didn’t. Next time, I’m totally making popcorn to cover the smell. And you know what? I may just _walk away from the microwave._😃 Far more minor rant: Yay! Cake at work! Huzzah! Omnomnomno- What the hell? Who puts \*coconut \*in red velvet cake frosting? Bleah. Oh, well. The cake part is good, and sweet enough that I don’t miss the icing. (Seven-year-old-me just died of shame at my adult self.) Coconut. _Ptui!_ ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-griping-anyone/560401/2238 "2011-09-29T00:26:35Z")
Today’s workplace adventure? Firing our new maintenance dude! You may be asking yourself why I might feel the need to let someone go after only a week, and I might give you the same tactful reason that I gave him: “The owner just isn’t happy with your work.” (And given the deplorable job he did with the floor buffer yesterday, the fact that he marked a work order “finished” the day before when it wasn’t, and the fact that he called off this morning with a total bullshit excuse? “Not happy” = understatement of the year. The real reason he was fired is that Mrs. Idiot Boss is too stupid to do even a cursory background check before hiring. On his application, New Maintenance Dude listed one of his previous jobs as MP in the US Air Force from 2001-2009. (I notice shit like this, coming from a military family and with a former Army MP husband.) Oddly enough, though, while filling out his new hire packet, the former military policeman gave me a photo ID to copy: a Dept. of Corrections ID dated 2008, the type of ID card issued to prisoners when they’re released from a Georgia prison. A quick lookup indicated that he had served 3 sentences, from charges in 2 counties nowhere near an Air Force base, during the years 2005-2008. Drug and forgery charges. Plus, during the 7! days since his hire, dude has borrowed against his paycheck from the boss, and borrowed cash from at least 3 employees. I’ll give him 2 choices when he’s paid Friday: I’ll pay cash for every hour he worked, and collect what he borrowed from everyone; or he can collect a paper check, and I’ll contact his parole officer to enforce repayment. I want some of those legal drugs. And a slice of red velvet cake. I guess I’ll have to settle for the beer I just opened… ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-griping-anyone/560401/2239 "2011-09-29T01:28:55Z")
Be a good idea to make sure security is there when he reports for his exit interview. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-griping-anyone/560401/2240 "2011-09-29T01:29:30Z")
> [@SpoilerVirgin](#): > > You could always try one of [these](http://www.northernsun.com/No-Hovering-Sticker-(5269).html). Ah, now there’s a good idea! 😃 No coconut, **purplehorseshoe**? I’ll take yours if you don’t want it. I loves me some coconut! ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-griping-anyone/560401/2241 "2011-09-29T01:48:34Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Be a good idea to make sure security is there when he reports for his exit interview. Security hell, I’m gonna have an off-duty LEO there! (Not overkill, we just don’t have a security staff of any sort.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-griping-anyone/560401.md?page=111) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-griping-anyone/560401.md?page=113)