# Workplace Toys, or My Martian Breast Implant **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 5, 2003, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-toys-or-my-martian-breast-implant/193194 "2003-08-05T20:00:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-toys-or-my-martian-breast-implant/193194/1 "2003-08-05T20:00:36Z")
A quick look around others’ cubicles reveals a lava lamp, chattery teeth, a teddy bear, and my Martian breast implant. It’s actually some kind of promotional giveaway, for goodness knows what. It’s . . . Well, a soft clear ball, about the size of a tennis ball, filled with green gel and hypnotic swirly silver stuff, so when you roll it or squeeze it, it does all kinds of pretty effects. I sit here at my desk playing with my Martian breast implant all day; it’s only a matter of time before it begins to leak ickily all over my hand. What toys do you have at _your_ desk? ---
**Author:** ![Isabelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5a626/32.png) [@Isabelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isabelle)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-toys-or-my-martian-breast-implant/193194/2 "2003-08-05T20:17:18Z")
I have a keychain that is in the shape of an egg. When you open it up a turtle mechanically swims in bubble like water. I also have Gumby at my desk. I also have a ton of books that I have brought from home. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-toys-or-my-martian-breast-implant/193194/3 "2003-08-05T20:21:10Z")
I have a toy dolphin that chirps when you squeeze it. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-toys-or-my-martian-breast-implant/193194/4 "2003-08-05T20:21:10Z")
I have a tube of [Crack Creme](http://www.crackcreme.com). It’s not from anyplace cool like Mars or Uranus though. ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-toys-or-my-martian-breast-implant/193194/5 "2003-08-05T20:26:55Z")
Oh, lieu. Hee hee hee. You said Uranus. What I have is way cool. It’s a rubber band ball that is now up to like 10 lbs. It’s famous here at the art school where I work. I’m thinking of entering it in the staff show we have at Christmas time. One doesn’t have to be an artist to enter. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-toys-or-my-martian-breast-implant/193194/6 "2003-08-05T20:29:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\*I have a tube of Crack Creme. \*\* Why am I not surprised? ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-toys-or-my-martian-breast-implant/193194/7 "2003-08-05T20:32:20Z")
A talking Dalek. ---
**Author:** ![Jadis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@Jadis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jadis)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-toys-or-my-martian-breast-implant/193194/8 "2003-08-05T20:34:46Z")
I have a pooping hippo. It’s a little blue hippo on a keychain, and when you squeeze him, a blob of brown goo pokes out of his butt and when you ease up, it sneaks back in. I find it highly amusing. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-toys-or-my-martian-breast-implant/193194/9 "2003-08-05T20:50:09Z")
I want the Blue Pooping Hippo. I could waste hour upon hour playing with that. Maybe it needs some of Lieu’s crack creme. Though I doubt he’d be willing to give it up. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kakofonous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9a140/32.png) [@Kakofonous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kakofonous)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-toys-or-my-martian-breast-implant/193194/10 "2003-08-05T20:54:09Z")
[ul] [li]2 Klixx toys [/li][li]a plastic twisty thing[/li][li]an Earth stress ball (giveaway from UPS)[/li][li]a slinky[/li][li]grad student magnetic poetry[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-toys-or-my-martian-breast-implant/193194/11 "2003-08-05T20:58:42Z")
I have a fairy on her own display stand and a giant pink foam die and a little angel sailor statue. Nothing I can play with really, but they were given to me by special people in my life, so just looking at them is a joy. ---
**Author:** ![lauramarlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a5b964/32.png) [@lauramarlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lauramarlane)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-toys-or-my-martian-breast-implant/193194/12 "2003-08-05T21:00:34Z")
A Junie B. Jones key ring, a BatManuel action figure, a Harry Potter bendy toy, a cartoon of Roger Williams (I used to work at the historical society), and _sigh_ a reading poster of Antonio Bandaras. ---
**Author:** ![Orange\_Skinner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3be4f8/32.png) [@Orange\_Skinner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orange_Skinner)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-toys-or-my-martian-breast-implant/193194/13 "2003-08-05T21:04:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\*I have a tube of [Crack Creme](http://www.crackcreme.com). It’s not from anyplace cool like Mars or Uranus though. \*\* Providing you get dry skin even in the more unmentionable of areas, it may yet hail from Uranus. 😃 **Eve** , last year at my high school, we had a seminar for the Senior girls about breast health. They passed out miniture rubber breasts, with nipples. Some of them (if not all) got a lump that you could search for, IIRC. Needless to say, the boys quickly confiscated the breasts after the assembly let out, and, as they were made of some slick plasticky material, plastered them on whatever they could find…the desks, the chalkboard, the television screen, lockers, windows. That was the best school day ever. I wish I had on at my desk, though. ---
**Author:** ![Vevila](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc8723/32.png) [@Vevila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vevila)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-toys-or-my-martian-breast-implant/193194/14 "2003-08-05T21:24:21Z")
~glances around her desk~ Lessee, I have a mini kaleidoscope, a mini LSU football helmet, a ferret figurine, a scooby doo mug (holding pens and pencils), a cardigan welsh corgi mug (holding samples of lubes and condoms), a keychain whip clipped to a set of nipple clamps on which is threaded a three gates of hell. Can you guess I work in the adult industry? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![International\_Playboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/48db29/32.png) [@International\_Playboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/International_Playboy)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-toys-or-my-martian-breast-implant/193194/15 "2003-08-05T21:26:02Z")
On my desk: An “executive wheel of fortune,” you spin it and it selects a decision for you, such as, “go for it,” “leave early,” " happy hour," “definitely not,” etc. A Pizza Hut Yoda giveaway, that acts like a “Magic 8 Ball.” You ask a question, then turn him over to get an answer. On my computer tower: A squeezable Dogbert, with a fire hydrant shaped eraser in his lap A Martian squeeze toy (cracked). When he was new, his eyes, nose and ears would pop out when squeezed. A “Y2K Bug.” Drop him and he makes a crashing sound. A lucky lottery scratcher, an elephant with a penny embedded in its back. Bobble head Richie Rich. Bobble head Jack from Jack in the Box. Some kind of pom-pom ball creature, one yellow ball with eyes, feet and antenna that was given away during some sort of safety campaign at work. It has a strip of satin or something with the name of where I work printed on it and the words “Safe Horizons.” And a “Buddah, pregnant with a cross.” A clear red, plastic buddah with a cross, an elephant, iron pyrite, and some mysterious seeds embedded in him, which I bought from the [Lucky Mojo Curio Company](http://www.luckymojo.com). I’d provide a link to the picture of it, but they are blocking the site at work now, claiming it’s a sex site. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-toys-or-my-martian-breast-implant/193194/16 "2003-08-05T21:27:17Z")
a small Tigger snow globe a crystal paperweight with my kids’ images etched into it [a GIANT PEZ DISPENSER!!](http://store3.yimg.com/I/candy-crate_1748_206720) One of the best birthday gifts I got this year, and it was from a patient. ---
**Author:** ![International\_Playboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/48db29/32.png) [@International\_Playboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/International_Playboy)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-toys-or-my-martian-breast-implant/193194/17 "2003-08-05T21:28:14Z")
Oh, and on my monitor, a mini, talking Lost In Space robot and a “hypnodisk.” ---
**Author:** ![International\_Playboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/48db29/32.png) [@International\_Playboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/International_Playboy)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-toys-or-my-martian-breast-implant/193194/18 "2003-08-05T21:31:51Z")
Directly across from my desk is my framed, Norman Mingo print of Alfred E. Newman that Mad sold until sometime in the 80s. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-toys-or-my-martian-breast-implant/193194/19 "2003-08-05T21:49:17Z")
No toys; but I have a framed copy of Asterix, Obelix and Dogmatix drawn by myself. Helps me remember the spirit of the underdog at work. ---
**Author:** ![ouisey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9fc29f/32.png) [@ouisey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouisey)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-toys-or-my-martian-breast-implant/193194/20 "2003-08-05T22:09:02Z")
I’ve gotta bunch of Wrox coding books with these pictures of authors on the binding. These guys…they don’t look like they have much of a social life. That and a huge insulated coffee mug. And my brand new 19" flat screen monitor:) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/workplace-toys-or-my-martian-breast-implant/193194.md?page=2)