# World Cup Predictions Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 8, 2006, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/world-cup-predictions-thread/359910 "2006-06-08T16:38:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 2\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Subterraneanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Subterraneanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Subterraneanus)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/world-cup-predictions-thread/359910/41 "2006-07-01T21:50:42Z")
[QUOTE=ianzin] I’d just like to say that I think I got it pretty much spot on, all apart from the ‘heroic, majestic performance’ bit, which was somehow deleted from the script this time round. [/QUOTE] Yeah, even when they won it was dreary as November in Blackburn. A dismal showing all around. Lampard: Need not have even made the trip. And this coming from a longtime Chelsea supporter. Rooney: Is anyone surprised? The boy needes Ritalin. Crouch: This is the third-best striker in England? _No future, no future, no future for you …_. Gerrard: Wasn’t he a great player for Liverpool, once upon a time? You know, in the era known as _prior to the 2006 world Cup_? Cole: I’m not sure you can make an international career out of two step-over moves and a cut to the inside. _Every_ time. Beckham: He’s always been overrated. Now the whole world knows he’s a one-trick pony. A one-trick pony with one leg. Eriksson: My mother used to tell me, _If you don’t have anything nice to say …_ ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/world-cup-predictions-thread/359910/42 "2006-07-01T23:04:01Z")
Pretty much spot on, **Subterraneanus**. Interestingly, ‘Lampard’ is a perfect anagram of ‘ample lard’. OK, no, it isn’t. But it should be. He was shockingly useless. What were the stats… something like 24 shots, and not a single goal? Not _one_. Not even from a penalty. How many chances does he want? What’s the point of his being there if he’s going to sky it or send it wide Every. Single. Time. If the £50k a week salary and Three Lions shirt is all about being able to gift the ball to some sap in the 97th row, well, I’m pretty sure **I** can do that. And I’ll do it for only 49 grand a week. A bargain. I 'spect I’ll be called up any time soon. Rooney was driven mad with frustration because SGE’s awful formation left him with next to no chance of participating. Apparently SGE thinks the best way to use Rooney’s talent is to cast him as a solitary striker hoping to occasionally get on the end of some chancey ‘pass’ lofted vaguely ‘forwards and upwards’ by a clueless midfield that are scared stiff of actually trying to get past anyone. Hence Rooney’s fustration, hence his determination to get at the ball, hence his over-reaction and red card. We needed two strikers who could work together. Leaving either Crouch or Rooney up front alone was desperately stupid, even by SGE’s standards. Gerrard… at least he had some passion and firepower, troubled the opposition from time to time and actually looked like he _wanted_ to fight and win. Unlike tub’o’lard. But his energy and passion didn’t produce much. Maybe the Lard-effect oozed into him and dimmed his abilities. “Cole: I’m not sure you can make an international career out of two step-over moves and a cut to the inside. _Every_ time.” Agreed, but then again he _did_ constantly harass and trouble the opposition’s defence, and _was_ willing to work hard down the left flank and actually run at and past defenders and get the ball forward to where we might actually score. And he got a wonder goal. I say he did okay. What we needed was Lennon on the other side of the field doing a similar job of darting forward and unzipping the opposition’s defence. But SGE wouldn’t hear of it. “Beckham: He’s always been overrated. Now the whole world knows he’s a one-trick pony. A one-trick pony with one leg.” Perfect summary, perfectly expressed. The only good thing to come out of the Portugal defeat was the near universal recognition that we actually played better when Becks _wasn’t_ on the field. There are only two people left who can’t see this: SGE and Posh. I say that this time around we did actually have some class players to draw on, and some world-class talent in the squad. But with SGE at the helm, we were never going to win anything. At least he’s gone. Good riddance. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/world-cup-predictions-thread/359910.md?page=2)