# World's Funniest Joke -- Update **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 3, 2010, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350 "2010-11-03T17:43:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/1 "2010-11-03T17:43:32Z")
If we’ve had one of these threads in recent times, just post a link to it and don’t worry about responding here. > **[World's funniest joke](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World%27s_funniest_joke)** > > The "world's funniest joke" is a term used by Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire in 2002 to summarize one of the results of his research. For his experiment, named LaughLab, he created a website where people could rate and submit jokes. Purposes of the research included discovering the joke that had the widest appeal and understanding among different cultures, demographics and countries.\[citation needed\] > The History Channel eventually hosted a special on the subject. > The winning... What’s funnier? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/2 "2010-11-03T18:03:37Z")
“My dog has no nose.” “How does he smell?” “Awful!” It’s funnier in German. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/3 "2010-11-03T18:04:33Z")
> [@The\_Hamster\_King](#): > > “My dog has no nose.” > > “How does he smell?” > > “Awful!” > > It’s funnier in German. Too-shay! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/4 "2010-11-03T18:09:12Z")
The joke that won the WFAN $66,000 contest: A guy who is desperate for work applies for a job as a school bus driver. He gets it, and the supervisor tells him: I’ve got to warn you, everyone wo has had this job has quit after the first day. You only have to make three stops and pick up four kids. That’s your bus, the one with the Sesame Street characters on it. He goes to the first stop and two very fat girls get on. The first one says “My name’s Patty.” The second one says “My name’s Patty, two.” At the second stop, a ver weird looking kid gets on and says “My name’s Ross and I’m so special the kids call me Special Ross.” At the third stop, a little black kid get gets on and says Whoo, whassup? My name is Lester G." The driver drives on and starts to notice a sickening smell. He looks in the rear view mirror, and sees that Lester G has taken off a shoe and sock and is picking at a hugh bunion on his foot. The bus drive speeds to the school, drops the kids off, and speeds back to the garage. He finds the supervisor and screams “I QUIT!” “You quit? Why?” "WHY? WHY? I’ll tell you why. You’ve got me driving two obese Pattys, Special Ross, Lester G picking bunions on a Sesame Street bus!" ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/5 "2010-11-03T18:11:31Z")
Guess what? Chicken butt! ---
**Author:** ![Rafe\_Hollister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/fbc32d/32.png) [@Rafe\_Hollister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rafe_Hollister)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/6 "2010-11-03T18:12:28Z")
This one always makes me laugh. But I’m kinda easy that way. “Hey, old man! Have you lived here all your life?” “No. Not yet.” ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/7 "2010-11-03T18:18:28Z")
I’m pretty sure there’s some web searching going on to try to find a really good one. This site ( [http://www.bluedonut.com/jokes.htm](http://www.bluedonut.com/jokes.htm) ) has a bunch of lame ones, but I really couldn’t resist laughing at this one: > [@](#): > > Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: “Saul, sell your business.” He ignores it. It goes on for days. “Saul, sell your business for $3 million.” After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store. The voice says ‘Saul, go to Las Vegas." He asks why. “Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas.” He obeys, goes to a casino. Voice says, “Saul , go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand.” He hesitates but knows he must. He’s dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing. “Saul, take a card.” What? The dealer has – “Take a card!” He tells the dealer to hit him. Saul gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy. “Saul, take another card.” What? “TAKE ANOTHER CARD!” He asks for another card. It’s another ace. He has twenty. “Saul, take another card,” the voice commands. I have twenty! Saul shouts. “TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!” booms the voice. Hit me,Saul says. He gets another ace. Twenty one. The booming voice goes: “un-fucking-believable!” ---
**Author:** ![Mooch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mooch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooch)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/8 "2010-11-03T18:35:05Z")
Knock knock. Who’s there? Smell mop. ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/9 "2010-11-03T18:50:12Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > I’m pretty sure there’s some web searching going on to try to find a really good one. This site ( [http://www.bluedonut.com/jokes.htm](http://www.bluedonut.com/jokes.htm) ) has a bunch of lame ones, but I really couldn’t resist laughing at this one: The version I heard was slightly different: > [@](#): > > Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: “Saul, sell your business.” He ignores it. It goes on for days. “Saul, sell your business for $3 million.” After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store. The voice says ‘Saul, go to Las Vegas." He asks why. “Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas.” He obeys, goes to a casino. Voice says, “Saul , go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand.” He hesitates but knows he must. He’s dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing. “Saul, take a card.” What? The dealer has – “Take a card!” He tells the dealer to hit him. > > Up comes a seven. The voice booms out “Oh Crap!” ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/10 "2010-11-03T18:59:03Z")
**Quercus** , I think I heard a similar version to yours which is why I thought this version was funnier. Could just be taste, I guess. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/11 "2010-11-03T19:00:43Z")
I was thinky of Monty Python’s “Funniest Joke in the World” sketch. Which is funnier. Anyway, What’s brown and sticky? A stick ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/12 "2010-11-03T19:15:21Z")
Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/13 "2010-11-03T19:35:00Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput! Is that all you do? Bird imitations? ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/14 "2010-11-03T19:50:15Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Is that all you do? Bird imitations? [Cite](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Funniest_Joke_in_the_World). (WARNING/ACHTUNG: Do not read this cite if you are World War II German soldier.) ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/15 "2010-11-03T19:57:48Z")
> [@Giles](#): > > [Cite](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Funniest_Joke_in_the_World). (WARNING/ACHTUNG: Do not read this cite if you are World War II German soldier.) [Countercite](http://en.allexperts.com/q/MASH-1380/joke-flying.htm). 🙂 (WARNING/ACHTUNG: Do not read this cite if you are a Korean War American Army surgeon.) ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/16 "2010-11-03T20:13:23Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > [Countercite](http://en.allexperts.com/q/MASH-1380/joke-flying.htm). 🙂 (WARNING/ACHTUNG: Do not read this cite if you are a Korean War American Army surgeon.) Thanks – I don’t remember seeing that episode. ---
**Author:** ![Gymnopithys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/fbc32d/32.png) [@Gymnopithys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gymnopithys)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/17 "2010-11-03T20:50:49Z")
From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands. “Who is it?” a passenger asks the captain. “I have no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes nuts.” ---
**Author:** ![minlokwat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minlokwat/32/2844_2.png) [@minlokwat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minlokwat)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/18 "2010-11-03T21:04:22Z")
A woman completes her grocery shopping and proceeds to the checkout. On the belt she places a small can of tuna, a half-dozen carton of eggs, and a quart of milk. The clerk says to her, “I’ll bet you’re single, right?” The woman smiles at him and says, “How’d you know?” The clerk says, “’Cause goddam, you is ugly.” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/19 "2010-11-03T21:24:51Z")
> [@Giles](#): > > Thanks – I don’t remember seeing that episode. I thought it was pretty well known, but I guess that 30 years after the fact it may have worked its way out of cultural awareness. ---
**Author:** ![George\_Kaplin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@George\_Kaplin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/George_Kaplin)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/20 "2010-11-03T23:26:55Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > You’ve got me driving two obese Pattys, Special Ross, Lester G picking bunions on a Sesame Street bus!" Sorry for being dense, but I don’t get it. Edit: Aha! Not so dense. Just got it. Now I’m hungry ☹ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350.md?page=2)