# World's Funniest Joke -- Update **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 3, 2010, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350 "2010-11-03T17:43:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/101 "2013-10-15T20:30:08Z")
I once heard that someone asked Pope John XXIII (who supposedly had a great sense of humor) how many people work in the Vatican. His answer? “Meh, about half.” ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/102 "2013-10-15T20:35:34Z")
> [@Nobody](#): > > Guy getting an eye exam > > Doctor: You really should stop masturbating. > Guy: Why? Because it really can make you go blind? > Doctor: No, because you’re making me uncomfortable. Wow, I’ve honestly never heard this one before! Great! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/103 "2013-10-15T20:38:51Z")
Two old ladies are in the produce section of the grocery store. Ethel: Okay, the next thing on our list is two cucumbers. Gladys: Look, Ethel, this sign says if we buy two, we get a third free. Ethel: But we only need two cucumbers. Gladys: That’s okay. We’ll just eat the third one. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/104 "2013-10-15T21:04:49Z")
A brewery worker fell into an open vat after falling from a catwalk. He was rushed to the hospital where his wife was summoned. Arriving at the emergency room, she was met by a doctor, who told her, “I’m very sorry, Mrs. Walker, but your husband drowned in a vat of beer.” Mrs. Walker said, “I hope his death was quick.” The doctor replied, “I wouldn’t be too sure. I’m told he got out three times to go to the men’s room.” ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/105 "2013-10-15T21:58:19Z")
> [@Nobody](#): > > Q. How many perverts does it take to screw in a light-bulb? > A. Just one. But it takes the whole hospital emergency team to get it back out. Screwing in a light bulb is not something everyone can do. For one thing, you’d both have to be very small; besides, how would you get in there? ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/106 "2013-10-15T22:03:27Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > I remember some female comedian saying: > > “Yeah, I’m unmarried, no kids… at least (wink) none that I know about.” A _woman_ didn’t know she had kids? I find that hard to believe…:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/107 "2013-10-15T22:08:01Z")
> [@brewha](#): > > Smell Mop! > > That and the sheep one tickled me. AAAAAA! > > […] Smell mop…I got it…EEEEWWWW! 😃 Literal mops can be pretty raunchy themselves…anyone remember Fester Bestertester? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/108 "2013-10-15T22:48:27Z")
> [@Rafe\_Hollister](#): > > Why does Snoop Dogg wear a rain coat? > > Fo’ drizzle. How does Snoop Dogg like his steaks? Ta’ sizzle. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/109 "2013-10-15T23:33:27Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > This may help, may not: [No soap radio](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_soap_radio) > > You might even try [no soap…radio](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=no%20soap...radio) Hahaha! MadTheSwine and I beat conformity! ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/110 "2013-10-15T23:38:54Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#): > > Hahaha! MadTheSwine and I beat conformity! Maybe you need a new signature: No sheep…radio. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/111 "2013-10-15T23:43:43Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2013, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/112 "2013-10-16T02:27:00Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > How does Snoop Dogg like his steaks? > > Ta’ sizzle. How does Snoop create bevelled edges on his cabinetry projects? With a Chisel ma nizzle. ---
**Author:** ![BrickaBracka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c5a1d2/32.png) [@BrickaBracka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrickaBracka)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2013, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/113 "2013-10-16T11:46:14Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > A _woman_ didn’t know she had kids? I find that hard to believe…:rolleyes: That’s the joke dougie…that’s the joke. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2013, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/114 "2013-10-16T15:50:09Z")
Bob is a construction worker. One day, Bob fell off his building site and died. His crew drew straws to see who would be the one to inform Bob’s wife, and Jose drew the shortest straw. About a half hour later, Jose comes back carrying a sixpack of beer. FOREMAN: Well, did you tell her? JOSE: Sure did, boss. FOREMAN: Then where’d you get the sixpack? JOSE: Well, I was walking to Bob’s house, trying to figure out how to break the news. I rang the doorbell, and she answered. I asked, “Are you Bob’s widow?” She replied, “You must have me mistaken. I’m not a widow.” And that’s when I replied, “I’ll bet you a sixpack you are!” ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2013, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/115 "2013-10-16T19:45:15Z")
The World’s Funniest Joke linked to in OP reminds me of a longish joke for which the punchline is: The guy comes back in to the CIA Applicant’s Interview Room, very disheveled and says “That gun you gave me was only loaded with blanks! I had to strangle her.” ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2013, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/116 "2013-10-16T22:39:03Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > If we’ve had one of these threads in recent times, just post a link to it and don’t worry about responding here. > > [World's funniest joke - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World%27s_funniest_joke) > > What’s funnier? The monkey joke on that page made laugh the most. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/117 "2013-10-17T01:33:00Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > I remember some female comedian saying: > > “Yeah, I’m unmarried, no kids… at least (wink) none that I know about.” I believe that was Elayne Boosler. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350/118 "2013-10-17T02:17:40Z")
So I’m driving down the road with Heisenberg and I say “Hey, look, we’re heading due east at 60 miles per hour” and Heisenberg goes “Great, now we’re lost.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-funniest-joke-update/559350.md?page=5)