# World's Worst - A Game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 13, 2001, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832 "2001-04-13T13:30:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Zanshin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e274bd/32.png) [@Zanshin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zanshin)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/21 "2001-04-13T15:40:03Z")
\ During a rectal exam… “Magnificent… Nurse, bring my sketchpad! You, sir, are going on my refrigerator!” ---
**Author:** ![Zumba\_The\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/779978/32.png) [@Zumba\_The\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zumba_The_Cat)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/22 "2001-04-13T15:42:08Z")
Another true one. Before a yearly check-up: “Do you have a living will?” My response: “Am I going to need one?” ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/23 "2001-04-13T15:44:34Z")
“Scalpel, Clamp, Lap-Sponge, Clamp, Duct Tape …” ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/24 "2001-04-13T16:05:35Z")
I’m sorry, I’ve got another operation to go too…nurse go out and grab someone off the street and get them to finish for me… ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/25 "2001-04-13T17:01:12Z")
Well, if you must know, I got my medical degree from the Caymen Islands School of Medicine and Mixology. ---
**Author:** ![SuperNova](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SuperNova](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuperNova)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/26 "2001-04-13T17:23:25Z")
We’re out of bandages… nurse, go to McDonald’s and grab some napkins. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/27 "2001-04-13T18:10:45Z")
“What do you mean that’s not the pancreas, nurse?!? Fine, your so smart, _you_ do it!” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/28 "2001-04-14T03:53:06Z")
Call me by my first name. The “Doctor” part is just honorary anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/29 "2001-04-14T03:57:15Z")
Will you be able to contact all of your sexual partners from the last ten years? ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/30 "2001-04-14T04:30:35Z")
Turn your head and cough. Ok, now you do me. ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/31 "2001-04-14T04:34:31Z")
Hey, what’s this thing that looks like an ear of corn? Oh! So _that’s_ what a pancreas looks like! ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/32 "2001-04-14T04:35:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CWN \* > \*\* > during surgery > OOOPS \*\* That really did happen to me, and I was conscious (just had an epidural) so I heard it. It’s not comforting to hear “OOPS! Someone look at that catheter. Is it bright red fluid in there? It is? Okay, page urology STAT!” This does not inspire confidence, although it wasn’t in the end a big deal. I also heard the nurse get real excited and say “Cool, I’ve never seen that before!” during the same surgery, but it was something different (knot in baby’s umbilical cord–not the rarest thing in the world, but the delivery nurse hadn’t seen one yet in five years on the floor). LOL Back to the thread in progress: (A couple more you don’t wanna hear during surgery) “Damn, would someone go get me an anatomy book?” “Whoa, they still got a few free slabs down at the morgue, don’t they?” (One you don’t want to hear after test results): “Before we go over the lab report, have you taken a moment to review this important brochure on organ donation?” ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/33 "2001-04-14T04:50:29Z")
I hope you don’t mind, but I took the liberty of inviting the entire nursing staff to view your penis enlargement surgery. ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/34 "2001-04-14T04:58:42Z")
“Nurse, put your skirt back on and get my belt. I think she’s coming to.” ---
**Author:** ![5CentCigar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/ea5d25/32.png) [@5CentCigar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5CentCigar)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/35 "2001-04-14T05:01:09Z")
"Scalpel… "Sponge… "Sponge… No, the big one. "Clamp… "Clamp… "Clamp!.. “Okay, get my lawyer on the phone.” ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/36 "2001-04-14T05:03:08Z")
“Nurse! Contact the CDC stat!” “Ummm…holy shit. Better put a call into FEMA while you’re at it…” ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/37 "2001-04-14T05:43:09Z")
“Ahh, Mr. Jones. You’re here for the circumsision… or was that castration? I always get those two mixed up.” ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/38 "2001-04-14T06:18:25Z")
Don’t worry, Mr. Smith. My guide dog has been sterilized - it’s perfectly safe to bring him into the operating theatre. ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/39 "2001-04-14T07:42:24Z")
Our family GP also happens to teach at the local med school and from time to time has a last-year student in his office to observe and learn. So I’ve actually heard this line myself: _Doc to Med Student:_ Oooo! Come over and look at her chart, this is **very** interesting! ---
**Author:** ![darian00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dfb087/32.png) [@darian00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/darian00)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/40 "2001-04-14T13:06:04Z")
howzabout…“Hey! Who let that cat in here? HEY! BRING THAT BACK!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832.md?page=3)