# World's Worst - A Game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 13, 2001, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832 "2001-04-13T13:30:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![darian00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dfb087/32.png) [@darian00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/darian00)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/41 "2001-04-14T20:13:42Z")
But then, they could always say something like… “Accept this sacrifice, O great Lord of the Dark”… ---
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/42 "2001-04-14T21:10:16Z")
A true one, actually said to me by an ER physician during a 3 a.m. exam for a red-hot-nail-in-the-ear earache. “You know, we usually only see this in 6-year-olds.” Dammit, Doc! Give me the Tylenol #3 and the amoxcillan and shut the \*\*\*\* up! ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/43 "2001-04-14T21:34:16Z")
\ Wake up Mr. Jones, time for your sleeping pill. that still cracks me up 17 years down the line, heeheehee – Hello, I’m Doctor Martin. And this is Father Williams, he’ll be assissting me during your operation. – You know, kidneys can fetch over $50,000 on the open market. – You know, with fashions thee days, large disfiguring scars are actually in style! ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/44 "2001-04-15T01:02:16Z")
(during surgery) um…ok, now what? ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/45 "2001-04-15T01:54:18Z")
This one happened to my mom while my sister was being born: Nurse to Mom: Oh, _no_! I’m _so_ sorry! (It was nothing bad. My mom had remarked that they were hoping for a boy, and the nurse felt bad that Megan turned out to be a girl.) This happened when my husband was born: Doctor to my father-in-law: Well, you have a son. And he’s _breathing_! f-i-l to doctor: Well, shouldn’t he be? (My husband was born not breathing, but my f-i-l had no way of knowing that, since he was in the waiting room.) ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/46 "2001-04-15T04:32:37Z")
Optometrist #1 (whilst peering into my eyes via that big magnifing apparatus thing you stick your head into): Look to the left please. Hmmmm… To the right now. Hmmm,… Hold on, I want to show this to my collegues. There follows small line of four other optomotrists. Each peering at my retnas. Optomotrist #2: It’s very pretty, what do you think it means? Optomotrist #3: Huh… I haven’t a clue. Me: What it it!? Optomotrist #4: Hmmmm… Mr. Greene, you see okay at night, right? Me: Er, yeah. Just fine. I mean, at least I **think** I do. Optomotrist #4: When you get flashed in the eyes with a bright light, does the afterglow seem to last unusually long? Me: Compared to what? Optomotrist #1: You know, in twenty years, I’ve never seen anything like this before. Me: Should I be worried?! Optomotrist #1 Well… There follows an extensive battery of tests of color perception, light sensitivity, phosphine tests, perepheral vision, and a pupil dialation that leaves me onion-eyed for hours. The conclusion: I just have very pretty retnas. ---
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/47 "2001-04-15T04:49:16Z")
“You know, you would think you wouldn’t be able to learn something like this through a mailing course!” ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/48 "2001-04-15T05:42:27Z")
“Were we supposed to spay or neuter your dog?” ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/49 "2001-04-15T05:57:19Z")
A blatant rip-off: Nurse, I told you, _nothing_ by mouth to this patient!! Tripler You figure it out. ---
**Author:** ![E.J.Fudd\_Millionaire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a183cd/32.png) [@E.J.Fudd\_Millionaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.J.Fudd_Millionaire)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/50 "2001-04-15T06:13:53Z")
Actual statement to me as the surgeon readied to make his first cut: “Are you sure you’re not asleep?” ---
**Author:** ![Bboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@Bboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bboy)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/51 "2001-04-15T06:33:34Z")
I went to the ER once for a bone-deep Piranha bite to my thumb. The surgeon/comedian asked: “So, what do you _normally_ feed it?” ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/52 "2001-04-15T06:36:23Z")
As the doctor is picking around in the very bad hand wound I had created as an 11-year-old, (riding my brother’s bike with a glass Mountain Dew bottle in hand, which I unfortunately forgot to throw when I crashed): “You are one lucky dog … you are one lucky d-” (abruptly turning to my mother) “Can I talk to you outside for a moment?” (I have permanent ligament damage in one of my fingers, and can’t bend it certain ways. I _think_ that’s what he was referring to. That shit will scare you when you’re 11, let me tell you.) ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/53 "2001-04-15T18:22:50Z")
actual quote to me by my eye doctor: “You know, you have beady, little eyes.” I told him he had a big nose. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/54 "2001-04-16T01:38:58Z")
My brother’s doctor on reading his personal & family medical history: “You’ve got a lot of nerve walking around.” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![longjohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@longjohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/longjohn)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/55 "2001-04-17T11:01:48Z")
… “the knee bone’s connected to the arm bone” ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/56 "2001-04-17T11:48:45Z")
Patient: Doctor, my arm hurts when I move it up like this. Doctor: Well, don’t move it like that. Sorry, that was all I could think of. All the other good ones have already been posted. Can we change the subject to something else? That’s usually how the game is played anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/57 "2001-04-17T16:18:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dragwyr \* > \*\*Can we change the subject to something else? That’s usually how the game is played anyway. \*\* How about: “World’s worst commercial airline pilot?” “Passengers, I see that we still have 1,000 gallons of fuel left so we’ll be able to circle the airport one more time before landing. Oh wait, is this in liters?” “I always wear a parachute. Just to be on the safe side.” ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/58 "2001-04-17T16:42:04Z")
“You’d be surprised how easily a costume rental can fool the security guys here.” ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/59 "2001-04-17T17:45:53Z")
(to co-pilot) Hey, watch this… (into intercom) Fasten your seatbelts, folks. We may be about to hit some turbulence. (Begins vigorously shaking controls) * * * Now the surgeon one: (complaining) Y’know, in the textbook the organs all had names on them. ---
**Author:** ![Protesilaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Protesilaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Protesilaus)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/60 "2001-04-17T20:04:06Z")
(over intercom) “Sorry for the delay, folks. We’ve been playing Flight Simulator up here and we think we’ve got that landing thing down pat. Do you have any idea how cool it looks when you crash into a building?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832.md?page=4)