# World's Worst - A Game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 13, 2001, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832 "2001-04-13T13:30:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/61 "2001-04-18T00:50:15Z")
**Pilot** Any of you ever been to Hawaii before? You, sir? Um, it’s kind of liver shaped, isn’t it?" (with apologies to Bob Newheart and the Mrs. Grace L.Ferguson Airline and Storm Door Company) **Doctor** Boy, those Ebola patients next door sure are messy! They got that stuff all over me. ---
**Author:** ![SINsApple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@SINsApple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SINsApple)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2001, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/62 "2001-04-19T10:03:42Z")
My name is Skip Ziggler and I’ll be your pilot today. (This was the actual name of my pilot a couple years ago, and after sitting next to a guy and his mother while they drank and made fun of the pilot for four hours, I seriously doubted Skip’s ability to land the plane. Skip, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry. I’m sure you didn’t really earn your pilot’s license through the mail.:D) ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/63 "2001-04-20T01:54:18Z")
“Ooooo, look! Clouds!!” “Um…does anyone know where we’re supposed to be going?” ---
**Author:** ![Verrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/46a35a/32.png) [@Verrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verrain)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/64 "2001-04-20T02:20:35Z")
“Welcome to Flight 847, ladies and gentleman, and I hope you all are enjoying the free alcohol as much as I am.” ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/65 "2001-04-20T12:50:40Z")
_pilot walks out of the cockpit, opens the door and jumps out_ GERONIMO!!! ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/66 "2001-04-20T13:13:44Z")
“C’mon, Austria, Australia, what’s the difference?” ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/67 "2001-04-20T13:40:02Z")
**Dentist one (they’re doctors right?), from today’s Far Side cartoon** (Guy in dentist’s chair) Dentist: “Now open even wider, Mr. Stevens. … Just out of curiosity, we’re going to see if we can also cram in this tennis ball.” The picture makes it a little funnier. **Pilot** “Whoa! Some chinese guy just rammed his fighter jet into us!” ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/68 "2001-04-20T15:57:53Z")
**Proctologist** “Look, no hands!” **Pilot** “Now, how high are we supposed to be again?” Or “Duuuude. I am SO baked.” My favorite is from an old Far Side: (Paraphrasing) “Oh my God! That red flashing light! It’s over! We’re all gonna die!!! Oh, wait. That’s just the intercom.” ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_The\_Younger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d9b06d/32.png) [@Paul\_The\_Younger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_The_Younger)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/69 "2001-04-20T17:39:40Z")
“Wow…the people really DO look like ants from up here…SHIT! Those ARE ants!” “Dammit! Doesn’t ANYONE here know how to make a good martini?” “Ladies and gentleman, thanks to my new friend, Miguel, here, we’ll be making an unscheduled stopover in Venezuela.” ---
**Author:** ![moronmountain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@moronmountain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moronmountain)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2001, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/70 "2001-04-21T22:35:23Z")
Hey, the floor’s clean, right? I mean, _that’s_ why we pay our janitorial staff. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2001, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/71 "2001-04-22T05:04:01Z")
“There’s a sponge missing and I don’t know where it could be…” “I didn’t get much sleep last night…Look how my hands are shaking!” ---
**Author:** ![Verrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/46a35a/32.png) [@Verrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verrain)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2001, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/72 "2001-04-22T16:22:36Z")
Don’t worry I went to Oral Roberts’ Medical School with a specialty in Liver Prayer. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2001, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/73 "2001-04-22T21:24:22Z")
**c\_goat** :My dad is a dentist and I faxed that one over to his office. He loved it so much, he enlarged it and hung it on the wall. and now back to the game Pilot: What does this little thingy do? ---
**Author:** ![don\_Jaime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b4bc9f/32.png) [@don\_Jaime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_Jaime)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/74 "2001-04-23T12:48:58Z")
Pilot: “Dulles?” I thought you said, “Dallas.” There’s a gas station a couple of miles back… My Dad’s cardiologist also introduced him to a student as a very interesting case. This same doctor once lost Dad in an examining room, too. Dad spent all afternoon waiting; he didn’t see the doctor until we came banging on the office door just after hours to find out if he had been in or not! Shitty doctor. ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/75 "2001-04-23T18:29:15Z")
This is your captain speaking. I’ve decided my life is worthless and devoid of meaning. And my wife is currently cheating with my co-pilot, who’s about to find out just how much that pisses me off. Goodbye. ---
**Author:** ![Verrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/46a35a/32.png) [@Verrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verrain)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/76 "2001-04-24T13:02:00Z")
In the words of Dennis Leary, “Light em up, cause we’re going down.” ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832/77 "2001-04-24T15:04:36Z")
“Fifty bucks? Hah! I’ll bet you a hundred that I CAN do a barrel roll in this 747!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worlds-worst-a-game/61832.md?page=3)