# Worse book ever written..... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 25, 2002, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-book-ever-written/138616 "2002-11-25T07:23:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Flowerchild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/858c86/32.png) [@Flowerchild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flowerchild)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-book-ever-written/138616/41 "2002-11-26T03:51:05Z")
i vote for " Go ask Alice " The front of the book says real diary , but certain sources tell me that it is only BASED on a diary and was changed around and rewritten to seem more interesting. I couldnt help but hate that book , i mean it didnt make any sense , A girl goes from her normal happy life on LSD and speed , to running away from home and being strung out on pot? ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-book-ever-written/138616/42 "2002-11-26T04:12:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kat \* > \*\*Robert Jordan’s working on it right…_now_! \*\* THis one or the next 10 books? ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-book-ever-written/138616/43 "2002-11-26T05:11:05Z")
Holy shit, Minty. I just broke my jaw by dropping it on the floor. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-book-ever-written/138616/44 "2002-11-26T05:23:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bubba Ray \* > \*\* > > Also most things from Anne Rice, at least everything she wrote after Queen of the Damned. \*\* Interestingly enough, a friend said the exact same thing when I put the question to her. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-book-ever-written/138616/45 "2002-11-26T05:23:43Z")
_Devlin’s Triangle_ by Basil Heat. Very, very, very cr\*\*py detective story. The author desperately tries to persuade you that the hero is a hi-class, suave, sophisticated guy. He succeeds in persuading you that the author is a low-class geek who really needs to get a life. Not only did this garbage get published, but it apparently sold well enough to spawn a couple of sequels. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-book-ever-written/138616/46 "2002-11-26T05:29:16Z")
The worst book I ever read right to the bitter end was, proudly, an Aussie product. It’s _The Season_ co-written by respected journalist/broadcaster Roy Masters and [Bob Ellis](http://us.imdb.com/Name?Ellis,+Bob+(I)) writer/filmmaker. A novel about a fictional Sydney rugby league side, it has no element that doesn’t make the reader cringe - names, characters, plot are all amateurish. It reads like a book thrown together in a weekend by drunks and then printed without editing. I read the book in slackjawed wonder that 2 people with good names to preserve would allow it out on the market. Surely they knew it was schoolboy crap? One particularly striking feature of the novels descriptive style was that every character had their nose classified - “a strong nose”, “hawklike nose”, “thin nose”, “bulbous nose”, “fat nose” etc. Never seen anything like it before or since. ---
**Author:** ![Yersinia\_Pestis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ccd318/32.png) [@Yersinia\_Pestis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yersinia_Pestis)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-book-ever-written/138616/47 "2002-11-26T05:43:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by starman \* > \*\*OK, this probably isn’t the worst book ever witten, but I found it excrable. Julian Barnes’ ‘History of the World’ is utterly pretentious. Whats more, the author has a certain smug and superior attitude that I simply cannot stomach. > -Oli \*\* Yes, this book was massively irritating. I had to return it to the library because I was trying to use it as light non-fiction before bed, and it kept making me pissed off. Apparently Barnes thinks that Africa is not part of the the world, 'cause there sure isn’t any history thereof in his book. Basically it felt pretty old-fashioned to me, and heavily weighted towards European history. (Which is interesting and all, but shouldn’t “world history” try to be a little more global?) However, I would have to nominate _Pussy, King of the Pirates_, by Kathy Acker as the worst book I’ve ever read. Though I didn’t finish it, either. But that’s because I literally couldn’t figure out what was going on. Are these the same characters as were in the first part of the book? Are they male or female? That kinda thing. One of the worst books I finished reading was _Wizard’s First Rule_, which pretends to be a fairly pedestrian fantasy novel for the first few hundred pages, then there’s about a hundred pages of really graphic S&M, then a truly truly hokey and crappy ending. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-book-ever-written/138616/48 "2002-11-26T06:10:47Z")
I haven’t actually read any of his books but I think [Harry Stephen Keeler](http://users.aol.com/bigsecrets/Keeler/) deserves a mention in this thread since he seems to have gained a reputation and [following](http://xavier.xu.edu:8000/~polt/keeler.html) as a bad author. He may become to books what Ed Wood is to movies. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-book-ever-written/138616/49 "2002-11-26T06:42:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by davidm \* > \*\*I haven’t actually read any of his books but I think [Harry Stephen Keeler](http://users.aol.com/bigsecrets/Keeler/) deserves a mention in this thread since he seems to have gained a reputation and [following](http://xavier.xu.edu:8000/~polt/keeler.html) as a bad author. He may become to books what Ed Wood is to movies. \*\* I hate to saw it, but Ed Wood’s films aren’t THAT bad. Corny? sure. Cheesy? Sure. Horrible SFX? yep. Inane Dialouge (Well, plan 9 really)? Yep. But also funny in it’s sheer crappiness. Besides, he had the excuse of having to shoot in a hurry with a limited budget. Writers often don’t have that excuse. ---
**Author:** ![Scorpio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Scorpio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scorpio)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-book-ever-written/138616/50 "2002-11-26T07:05:02Z")
**Yersinia Pestis** - big agreement for _Wizard’s First Rule_. That book (author is Terry Goodkind) single-handedly made me stop trying new authors through buying their books. What a waste of precious birthday book vouchers! And he wrote like five sequels too. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-book-ever-written/138616/51 "2002-11-26T16:21:37Z")
scorpio, yersinia, the terry goodkind sequels have more S&M, less fantasy. and i read them in the way that i rubber neck at car crashes… my nomination is for “The Tin Drum” by Gunther Grass. it’s TRULY HORRIBLE. really, really yucky. ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-book-ever-written/138616/52 "2002-11-26T17:00:31Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by essvee (re: my nomination of To the Lighthouse)_ > Holy shit, Minty. I just broke my jaw by dropping it on the floor. Oh, I mean it. That book is mind-numbingly pretentious and entirely unreadable. I detest it with a passion that is entirely out of proportion even with its alleged artistic merits, not that such merits exist in reality anyway. And this is by no means some kind of anti-intellectual position on my part. I used to teach college English. I have read and enjoyed many of Woolf’s British modernist contemporaries, and manyof my favorite novels have a hundred times more psychological depth and artistic complexity than anything in Woolf’s horrid little screed about gender, philosophy, and art. Blech! ---
**Author:** ![Alias](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e4f/32.png) [@Alias](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alias)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-book-ever-written/138616/53 "2002-11-26T17:10:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Flowerchild \* > \*\*i vote for " Go ask Alice " The front of the book says real diary , but certain sources tell me that it is only BASED on a diary and was changed around and rewritten to seem more interesting. I couldnt help but hate that book , i mean it didnt make any sense , A girl goes from her normal happy life on LSD and speed , to running away from home and being strung out on pot? \*\* There is no way Go Ask Alice is a real diary. Check out the way the characters are introduced, and the way background information is given in such detail. No one writes in a journal that way. The purpose of journal writing is for YOURSELF, why would you feel the need to explain everything to death? Also, isn’t it implied that she overdosed on LSD? Is that even possible? ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-book-ever-written/138616/54 "2002-11-26T18:10:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Yersinia Pestis \* > \*\*One of the worst books I finished reading was _Wizard’s First Rule_, which pretends to be a fairly pedestrian fantasy novel for the first few hundred pages, then there’s about a hundred pages of really graphic S&M, then a truly truly hokey and crappy ending. \*\* Well, I got through that one and I think the next three, but when the main characters and a very important secondary character just drifted away I lost interest. The dialogue isn’t very good, either, when you think about it. I’m so ashamed, too, I bought them all in \*hardback[/i.] ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-book-ever-written/138616/55 "2002-11-26T18:26:46Z")
[quote] PANDORA by Anne Rice- yes for the love of Jesus, Grandpa Walton, and all the ships at sea, Anne, we get the point… omnisexual aristocrats whine a lot when made into immortals! Write something else! How about a cabdriving vampire, or a werewolf who really wants to direct! \*\* Don’t forget the reaminated dead guy that wants to dance. "Puttin’ on the Ritz! " ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-book-ever-written/138616/56 "2002-11-26T18:50:59Z")
[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=103551](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=103551) This is the thread from last Spring where we discussed the same topic. Although my feelings about the books that I mentioned there haven’t changed, I do have an additional nominee that I had the misfortune of reading over the summer. Yup, you guessed it: _Wizard’s First Rule_. What a miserable book. With the exception of the hundred page dominatrix fantasy and the gratuitous torturing and murdering of children, everything in this stinker is stolen directly from Robert Jordan. Which is especially sad when you consider that Jordan is ninety percent copied from Tolkien. If you’re a talentless hack, you might as well plagiarize directly from the source. ---
**Author:** ![TwungTister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TwungTister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwungTister)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-book-ever-written/138616/57 "2002-11-26T19:11:35Z")
[ul] **Shardik.** [/ul] What A BORE. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-book-ever-written/138616/58 "2002-11-26T19:38:01Z")
Someone already voted for the **Gor** books of John Norman, but his non-fiction **Imaginative Sex** is much _much_ worse. And has anyone ever read anything by [Lionel Fanthorpe](http://www.peltorro.com/examples.htm) Clicking on the link gives you some idea ---
**Author:** ![WortMeWorry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@WortMeWorry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WortMeWorry)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-book-ever-written/138616/59 "2002-11-26T20:06:46Z")
It’s a tossup between “Christine” or “Cujo” by Srephen King. And I like most of his other stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Flowerchild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/858c86/32.png) [@Flowerchild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flowerchild)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-book-ever-written/138616/60 "2002-11-26T20:59:57Z")
" Yersinia Pestis " ? Can I just say that I love your user name. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-book-ever-written/138616.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-book-ever-written/138616.md?page=4)