# Worse neighbor: Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin, or Stan Smith? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 3, 2009, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266 "2009-02-03T16:40:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/21 "2009-02-03T20:04:38Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > …If you want to keep him completely away, imply that you’re an atheist or a B’hai… Not sure about this. He might regard you as a proslytizing challenge, and then you’d never get rid of him. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/22 "2009-02-03T20:07:55Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Not sure about this. He might regard you as a proslytizing challenge, and then you’d never get rid of him. While I’ll concede that Ned went too far in deciding to baptize the three Simpsons hellions (yes, Lisa IS a hellion, damn it!–or at least a firecracker with a really long fuse) I can’t recall him ever bothering anybody but Homer (who I think we can agree is both an unreliable reporter and more likely to be at fault) and Lovejoy. I mean, the ENTIRE TOWN turned out to help him the moment they realized the Leftorium was going under. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/23 "2009-02-03T20:11:28Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Not sure about this. He might regard you as a proslytizing challenge, and then you’d never get rid of him. If that were true he’d be hated by more people than Homer, but it’s pretty well established that only Homer hates Ned. Peter Griffin is a psychotic, sociopathic, violent, murdering bastard. I wouldn’t want to be within fifty miles of him. Either Langley or Springfield would be fine as compared to living on Spooner Street. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/24 "2009-02-03T20:15:16Z")
Springfield. As others have said, Peter and Stan are too dangerous to be around. Homer is foolish, but, as Elendil’s Heir said he’d likely be managgable if you feed him snacks or beer. I see Marge as a good neighbor, and Lisa a good kid. One might have to go head to head with Bart, but once you showed him who’s boss he’d be okay. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/25 "2009-02-03T20:18:19Z")
I am remembering that episode where Flanders moved away and that coach showed up and made Homer his bi-otch. Homer would be easy enough to control. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/26 "2009-02-03T20:28:36Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I deliberately left King of the Hill out of it, as Arlen seems to be so easily the best option. Hank’s bound to be a good neighbor–hell, you can probably get him to mow your lawn if you play your cards right–and Dale’s easy to manage, as he scares easy. Hank would be a good bet for best neighbor. But then again, in addition to Dale, you’ve got clingy Bill and then also Kahn telling you what a stupid redneck hillbilly you are. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/27 "2009-02-03T20:29:19Z")
Peter might be crazy, retarded, a murderer, etc… but if you’re actually friends with him, then it always works out OK for you. Sure, your house might get destroyed, but it’s just fine in the next scene! Obviously Peter feels bad and gets it fixed for you. And Peter and all his friends always seem to have a lot of fun. And what’s the point of being in a new town if all you do is stay in your house and keep to yourself? Plus, it would be trivially easy to bang Lois… ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/28 "2009-02-03T20:33:11Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > Plus, it would be trivially easy to bang Lois… Only if you’re a rock star or president of the United States…she’s remarkably faithful to him (aside from the Clinton thing)…she didn’t even bang Brian after they’d gotten married when Peter was missing? (Man, a woman can marry a dog, but it took a hostage situation to get gay marriage legalized…what goes on in Quahog?) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/29 "2009-02-03T20:36:32Z")
Remind me what happened with Lois and Bill Clinton? ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/30 "2009-02-03T20:37:56Z")
Quahog, definitely. Lois is hot, Cleveland seems like he would help you in a pinch, and I could get pointers from Quagmire. Brian looks like he’d be a good guy to hang out with (though his sanctimonious nature would probably grate my nerves a bit), and I’d probably involve myself in Peter’s schemes. Plus, it’s not too far from home. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/31 "2009-02-03T20:39:21Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Hank would be a good bet for best neighbor. But then again, in addition to Dale, you’ve got clingy Bill and then also Kahn telling you what a stupid redneck hillbilly you are. Bill’s no harder to manager than Dale, unless, like Hank, you have sufficient residual affection for him to make you feel guilty for chasing him off. Kahn is dicier, but I could live in Arlen. Not that they’d have me; I can’t stand football. [QUOTE=bouv] Plus, it would be trivially easy to bang Lois… [/QUOTE] I think it would be easier to bang Hayley from American Dad, and she’s over 18. As someone’s pointed out, Stan’s never actually killed anyone, and he’s fairly easy to fool. Contrariwise, aiming for Lois brings you in the vicinity of Stewie and his arsenal of super-weapons. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Controvert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@The\_Controvert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Controvert)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/32 "2009-02-03T20:44:45Z")
Langley because of the loophole that I would be able to afford to rent another place. At any time, Springfield could become isolated under a dome and Quahog could become a post-apocalyptic wasteland populated by mutant Stewie-octopi spawn. Also, I don’t like the idea of Death showing up. So far, the Smith clan have kept their shenanigans within their neighborhood. Now pass me some hookers and blow! ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/33 "2009-02-03T20:50:26Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Remind me what happened with Lois and Bill Clinton? Bill and Peter became friends, which Lois thought was having a bad effect on Peter, so she went to Clinton to try to talk him into stopping hanging around with Peter. She ended up falling into bed with him, instead. After a sequence of humorous events, Peter goes to talk to Bill… And falls into bed with him, after which he totally has to forgive Lois for it. ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/34 "2009-02-03T20:52:31Z")
Quahog. The trick to getting along there is to involve yourself in Peter’s schemes since nothing too bad ever happens to a conspirator. it seems that the law doesn’t really apply there either, so I’d have a great time. 🙂 Homer and company often manage to endanger the entire town, and the rest of the Springfielders leave a lot to be desired. I don’t trust Stan Smith at all, though roger seems like a blast. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/35 "2009-02-03T23:17:22Z")
Langley Falls - Stan might be a cunt but the rest of his family are great fun (Francine and I would have coffee mornings every Saturday without fail). ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/36 "2009-02-03T23:21:07Z")
It occurs to me that many of us are assuming that Lois Griffin only cheated on Peter once. (Well, one AFTERNOON–I expect there were multiple instances in said bed.) As I think about it, that seems unlikely. Doesn’t it? Isn’t it MORE likely that she only got CAUGHT once? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/37 "2009-02-03T23:28:18Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > Quahog. I don’t socialize with my neighbors much. Peter is less likely than Homer to actively involve a stranger in his dangerously insane schemes, and Stan would be the most likely to start spying on an introverted neighbor. Plus Lois is the hottest wife of the three. You’re kidding. :eek::smack: Peter has left a trail of the pummeled & dead all over this land, & has routinely destroyed whole houses with his shenanigans. Homer mostly hurts himself & his family, but Springfield’s nuclear plant is held together with duck tape & spit, & that 3 eyed fish wasn’t no gift from Kang & Kodos! I’d like Langley fine! I could catch a bus, & visit the Smithsonian. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/38 "2009-02-03T23:34:42Z")
Brian and Stewie would be fun and the chance of tagging Lois at some point… Quahog it is. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/39 "2009-02-03T23:39:11Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Bill’s no harder to manager than Dale, unless, like Hank, you have sufficient residual affection for him to make you feel guilty for chasing him off. Kahn is dicier, but I could live in Arlen. Not that they’d have me; I can’t stand football. True. You’d also have to watch out and never invite Lucky into your home case he sues you. (Or did he stop doing that?) About the Simpsons. I guess all would be good living next door. Unless you write up your memoirs in the same room where you keep your outboard and then let Bart in. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/40 "2009-02-03T23:44:03Z")
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