# Worse neighbor: Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin, or Stan Smith? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 3, 2009, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266 "2009-02-03T16:40:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/41 "2009-02-03T23:50:20Z")
The Drunken Clam seems more fun than Moe’s. Or at least less depressing. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/42 "2009-02-03T23:51:21Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > Who has Peter murdered? While trying to arrange for a promotion at work (which he wanted only for access to the executive bathroom) he started a fire which destroyed a wing of a children’s hospital and killed 19 children. While leading a crew of land-pirates, he forced a motorist off the road and into the ocean, where the car sank to the motorists’ death. During a time-travel adventure, he accidentally created a reality in which he never married Lois; in that reality, as a direct but extremely complicated result, the Iraq War was never fought, marijuana was illegal, Al Gore won the presidency, and global warming had been conquered. He nonetheless went on to reverse all that. ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2009, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/43 "2009-02-04T00:20:50Z")
Nobody wants to hang out with Roger???!!! The alien poops jewel encusted gold turds! I’d go to Langley Falls for sure. Peter and Stewie are psychopaths, there’s a pedophile in the neighborhood, not to mention Quagmire. Homer would be my second choice, but if I had to live next to Peter, I’d turn down the job. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2009, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/44 "2009-02-04T00:24:56Z")
> [@Hockey\_Monkey](#): > > Nobody wants to hang out with Roger???!!! The alien poops jewel encusted gold turds! I’d go to Langley Falls for sure. Peter and Stewie are psychopaths, there’s a pedophile in the neighborhood, not to mention Quagmire. . Unless you’re a member of Skull & Bones, Herbert is completely harmless. Why else do you think Stewie hasn’t killed him? Besides, Chris is at least 13–and I think actually 15, as Meg has gone from 15 to 17 during the series, and Chris also seems older–so Herbert’s actually a **hebephile**. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2009, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/45 "2009-02-04T00:43:45Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > marijuana was illegal Missed it by _that_ much. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2009, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/46 "2009-02-04T00:46:25Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > While trying to arrange for a promotion at work (which he wanted only for access to the executive bathroom) he started a fire which destroyed a wing of a children’s hospital and killed 19 children. > > While leading a crew of land-pirates, he forced a motorist off the road and into the ocean, where the car sank to the motorists’ death. > > During a time-travel adventure, he accidentally created a reality in which he never married Lois; in that reality, as a direct but extremely complicated result, the Iraq War was never fought, marijuana was illegal, Al Gore won the presidency, and global warming had been conquered. He nonetheless went on to reverse all that. Depending on how you want to read the Family Guy timeline he may also have murdered Connie D’Amico. He repeatedly slammed her head into a fire extinguisher. It wasn’t at all clear whether she survived. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2009, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/47 "2009-02-04T00:49:48Z")
How about Cartman and his mom? On the one hand, you have one sexy skank (tho probably loaded with a bunch of nasty diseases); on the other, a little kid who is also a murderer and often ends up connected with some disaster (even if not his direct fault) which destroys half the town. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2009, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/48 "2009-02-04T02:46:38Z")
I’ll live next to Homer, despite the obvious threat to life, limb, property, and sanity. Springfield is just a cool place to live. There are celebrities passing through all the time, the townsfolk are always breaking out into catchy parody songs, and I’ve always wanted to check out Springfield Gorge. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2009, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/49 "2009-02-04T04:12:30Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I deliberately left King of the Hill out of it, as Arlen seems to be so easily the best option. Hank’s bound to be a good neighbor–hell, you can probably get him to mow your lawn if you play your cards right… You, however, might want to stay away from his dog. :eek: And the reset button doesn’t seem to work as well in the KOTH universe. > [@Freudian Slit](#): > > You’d also have to watch out and never invite Lucky into your home case he sues you. (Or did he stop doing that?) Don’t believe so. Boy has a family to feed and that last settlement won’t last forever. Homer seems like good company for another guy whose tastes run more like a Ford than a Bush. And no matter how much you screw up, you can always blame him. Flanders could be good for a religious debate. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2009, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/50 "2009-02-04T04:33:22Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > Bill and Peter became friends, which Lois thought was having a bad effect on Peter, so she went to Clinton to try to talk him into stopping hanging around with Peter. > > She ended up falling into bed with him, instead. > > After a sequence of humorous events, Peter goes to talk to Bill… > > And falls into bed with him, after which he totally has to forgive Lois for it. Ah, thanks. I vaguely remember that now. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2009, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/51 "2009-02-04T04:36:42Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > It occurs to me that many of us are assuming that Lois Griffin only cheated on Peter once. (Well, one AFTERNOON–I expect there were multiple instances in said bed.) As I think about it, that seems unlikely. Doesn’t it? Isn’t it MORE likely that she only got CAUGHT once? Peter is not Meg’s biological father, according to one episode, so twice, at least. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2009, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/52 "2009-02-04T04:58:02Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > You’re kidding. :eek::smack: > > Peter has left a trail of the pummeled & dead all over this land, & has routinely destroyed whole houses with his shenanigans. > > Homer mostly hurts himself & his family, but Springfield’s nuclear plant is held together with duck tape & spit, & that 3 eyed fish wasn’t no gift from Kang & Kodos! > > I’d like Langley fine! I could catch a bus, & visit the Smithsonian. Yeah, but continuity doesn’t exist in Quahog. After 30 minutes everything would be back to normal. …Well, status quo, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2009, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/53 "2009-02-04T05:09:24Z")
Springfield. Homer rarely kills his neighbors, unlike Peter, and Stan will if he hasn’t already. Plus, I already know everybody in town and besides Lisa and Professor Frink, I will be King of the Idiots, and much more sociable than either. ---
**Author:** ![WarmNPrickly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@WarmNPrickly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WarmNPrickly)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2009, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/54 "2009-02-04T05:30:02Z")
Stan is the only one I wouldn’t want to live by, but between Homer and Peter I’d choose Peter mostly for his dog. Stan would be a nightmare. He would probably have the CIA watching my house 24/7 just because I don’t mow my lawn often enough. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2009, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/55 "2009-02-04T06:37:38Z")
Living next to Peter just seems insanely dangerous, plus there’s Herbert and trigger-happy Joe. Cleveland and Quagmire seem ok, but I think Quahog is out. I haven’t seen much of _American Dad_, but **Tengu** makes a good case for Langley. Still, a homeland security nutcase doesn’t seem too safe to be around. I give this one a maybe. South Park is right out. Even leaving aside Cartman’s crimes, the whole town has gone nuts on outsiders more than once. Screw those guys, I’m staying home. For all his dopeyness and disfunction, Homer is a very gentle, friendly neighbor (granted, I’ve only watched the first 8 seasons). Invite him to watch the game over a few beers and you’ve got a pal. Bart’s a troublemaker, but invite him for some constructive troublemaking and he’d probably start looking up to you as a mentor (I could see that backfiring, though). Marge, Lisa and Flanders all seem easier to get along with than real-life neighbors I’ve had. I pick Springfield, with Langley a close second. Quahog comes in a distant third and South Park has me turning down the job offer. ---
**Author:** ![AllWalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@AllWalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AllWalker)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2009, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/56 "2009-02-04T09:39:30Z")
I’d probably go with the Simpsons, the greatest danger there being the nuclear plant. OTOH, the plant has gone 20 seasons with only about a dozen near meltdowns, so it’s probably okay. Springfield it is. Stan Smith is dangerous, killer or no. The abuse of CIA resources goes unchecked - not to mention access to experimental/alien technology/knowledge. But you could probably keep out of his way and be fine. Everything else aside, the Family Guy universe is stuck in jokes and references that predate, well, everything. I was born in the late 1980s, which wont reach Quahog for another fifty years or so. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2009, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/57 "2009-02-04T10:54:16Z")
Langley. All I’ll have to do is fly my flag (properly of course) and there should be no problem. After Stan checks up on me and sees I have a security clearance he’ll be a good neighbor. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2009, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/58 "2009-02-04T11:10:47Z")
Us queers are shit out of luck with him though. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2009, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/59 "2009-02-04T17:25:34Z")
[QUOTE=Illuminatiprimus] Us queers are shit out of luck with him though. [/QUOTE] Seeing as I’d be working for the NSA, Stan would have to learn to like me. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2009, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266/60 "2009-02-04T17:58:11Z")
If you ask him to perform his one-man play about Abraham Lincoln and his “special friend,” I think he’d be cool with you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worse-neighbor-homer-simpson-peter-griffin-or-stan-smith/484266.md?page=4)