# Worst. Advertising slogan. Ever. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 8, 2007, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179 "2007-03-08T23:15:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/1 "2007-03-08T23:15:33Z")
From the “What were they smoking, and where can I get some?” department: [One bagel, hold the lox](http://adweek.blogs.com/adfreak/2007/03/bagel_shop_need.html) So very many jokes, so precious little time… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/2 "2007-03-08T23:27:01Z")
I actually kinda like it. Obviously it’s not going to attract someone like my mom, but I’d probably go there just to show support for more ballsy (lippy?) ads like this. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/3 "2007-03-08T23:41:04Z")
Reverse advertising for the competition: River City Bagels are like vaginas. Who the heck needs more than one? ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/4 "2007-03-08T23:50:08Z")
But what does it mean?!! 😕 One of the responses says something about the “Vagina Monologues” and talks about context. What is that about? ETA: After seeing the next posted comment, I’ll add a big whoosh over my head on this one. I still don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/5 "2007-03-08T23:51:41Z")
I groaned out loud when I read it. Stupid, stupid, frat-boy dumb, and annoying. Yuck! ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/6 "2007-03-08T23:54:49Z")
I do indeed love vaginas, yet I still agree it’s a bit tacky. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/7 "2007-03-08T23:57:27Z")
I think about sex too often already, so the last thing I want is to be reminded of it when I’m eating a fucking bagel. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/8 "2007-03-09T00:01:04Z")
Betcha can’t eat just one! ---
**Author:** ![DirkGntly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DirkGntly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DirkGntly)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/9 "2007-03-09T00:04:20Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] I think about sex too often already, so the last thing I want is to be reminded of it when I’m eating a fucking bagel. [/QUOTE] Hmm…I wouldn’t eat one while it’s fucking…BEFORE it’s fucking, yeah probably… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/10 "2007-03-09T00:17:37Z")
Well! It’s safe to say it wasn’t some nice Jewish boy who came up with _that_ slogan! I take it their bagels aren’t overly… yeasty? And that photo of an orgy of… er, daisy ch… er, stack, of bagels is now strangely obscene, somehow. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/11 "2007-03-09T00:43:49Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] I think about sex too often already, so the last thing I want is to be reminded of it when I’m eating a fucking bagel. [/QUOTE] You should probably stick to the regular bagels, then. ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/12 "2007-03-09T00:44:01Z")
The ad appears in the _Boise Weekly_, which is an alternative local rag here. After seeing the link and learning of its source I went to the break room where (among other places around town) they provide free copies. I picked one up and brought it back to my desk. The ad is right there on page 28 of the March 7 issue. I might just go down there to River City Bagels this weekend and find out for myself if they’re as good as advertised. ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/13 "2007-03-09T00:55:20Z")
[QUOTE=dwc1970] I might just go down there to River City Bagels this weekend and find out for myself if they’re as good as advertised. [/QUOTE] Well, there ya go. Ad works just fine. One more paying customer. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/14 "2007-03-09T01:17:57Z")
So _that’s_ why bagels have a hole in the middle! ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/15 "2007-03-09T01:41:01Z")
You know, if this is going to be a running series, I’ve got some ideas they could try out: Our bagels are like vaginas: Nobody wants one with too much yeast. Our bagels are like vaginas: Fresh, warm and soft. Our bagels are like vaginas: A nice light snack Our bagels are like vaginas: Sometimes, there are seeds on them Our bagels are like vaginas: The more, the merrier. Our bagels are like vaginas: It’s fun to put meat in them. Our bagels are like vaginas, so come in and eat out. (Not necessarily in that order) Our bagels are like vaginas, but they don’t mind if you eat another one. Our bagels are like vaginas, only they taste better when there’s fish involved. Our bagels are like erect penises: Firm, tasty, and not too filling. Hey, they’re welcome to use these, no charge. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/16 "2007-03-09T01:44:17Z")
[Peter Griffin] Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go microwave a bagel and have sex with it. [/PG] Hey, if Idaho can have such a hip place, there’s hope for the rest of America! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/17 "2007-03-09T01:47:11Z")
My vagina has a first name, It’s b-a-g-e-l Oh Christ! I just realized that one of my ex-gfs had the nickname of “bagel” when she was a kid! :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: ---
**Author:** ![SpectBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@SpectBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpectBrain)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/18 "2007-03-09T02:00:01Z")
Hello, gimme a tub of cream cheese and a dozen of your hot fuckin’ bagels, please. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/19 "2007-03-09T03:38:24Z")
I like blueberry vaginas. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/20 "2007-03-09T04:11:28Z")
There’s nothing like a fresh, hot, genuine New York vagina. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179.md?page=2)