# Worst. Advertising slogan. Ever. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 8, 2007, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179 "2007-03-08T23:15:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/21 "2007-03-09T04:37:14Z")
“Boys have a penis. Girls have a bagel.” [/Kindergarten Cop] ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/22 "2007-03-09T05:08:12Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] I groaned out loud when I read it. Stupid, stupid, frat-boy dumb, and annoying. Yuck! [/QUOTE] Maybe so, but consider this: Some women these days are getting what amounts to cosmetic surgery on their vagina and environs. On the other hand, guys don’t give a crap what it looks like, they just want some. Moral: Even if your vagina looks like a bagel, it will still be tasty. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/23 "2007-03-09T05:10:39Z")
ewww there’s a hair in my bagel. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/24 "2007-03-09T12:04:16Z")
Yeah but a lot of us don’t like bagels. We’d prefer an eclair. Or a berliner. Or an 8 inch bagette. Or…excuse me I’ll be in my bunk. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Push\_Up\_Bra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/edb3f5/32.png) [@Freudian\_Push\_Up\_Bra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Push_Up_Bra)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/25 "2007-03-09T12:07:40Z")
Well, I’ll try one, but if I find so much as one hair, it’s going in the trash… Kudos cookie to those who get it. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/26 "2007-03-09T13:58:10Z")
So clearly, these girls should have used “bagel” as a euphemism for “Vagina:” [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=411219&page=5](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=411219&page=5) ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/27 "2007-03-09T14:06:46Z")
I’m not the biggest fan of bagels, and this isn’t helping. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/28 "2007-03-09T15:14:29Z")
[QUOTE=sturmhauke] Maybe so, but consider this: Some women these days are getting what amounts to cosmetic surgery on their vagina and environs. On the other hand, guys don’t give a crap what it looks like, they just want some. Moral: Even if your vagina looks like a bagel, it will still be tasty. [/QUOTE] [On the other hand, if your penis resembles a bagel-dog, you’ve got _serious_ problems.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=273825) ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/29 "2007-03-09T15:28:51Z")
I gots to show you guys another ad with what I consider to be the Worst Advertising Slogan Ever: **[Meet Mr. Happy Crack](http://www.randycasey.com/images/drycrack.jpg)** “Mr. Happy Crack says… ‘A dry crack is a happy crack!’” Yes, it’s so bad that I scanned it for posterity. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/30 "2007-03-09T15:34:10Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] I’m not the biggest fan of bagels, and this isn’t helping. [/QUOTE] Perhaps we can change your mind with our pap-schmeer special. ---
**Author:** ![silk1976](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@silk1976](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silk1976)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/31 "2007-03-09T15:52:49Z")
[QUOTE=Beadalin] I gots to show you guys another ad with what I consider to be the Worst Advertising Slogan Ever: **[Meet Mr. Happy Crack](http://www.randycasey.com/images/drycrack.jpg)** “Mr. Happy Crack says… ‘A dry crack is a happy crack!’” Yes, it’s so bad that I scanned it for posterity. [/QUOTE] Beat me to it! (Rt 1 in Foxboro?) ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/32 "2007-03-09T16:00:24Z")
Nope, I got it in a mailing in Minnesota. Apparently it’s national (or maybe regional?) as my sister in St. Louis has also seen it. Guess it’s effective, since it’s definitely memorable! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/33 "2007-03-09T16:01:28Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] Perhaps we can change your mind with our pap-schmeer special. [/QUOTE] Well, I could be persuaded to like bagels and I don’t need any encouragment at all to appreciate human female parts, but the moods that drive me to appreciate one and the other don’t seem to want to mix at all. For me, there’s no sense of “Hey, you got your bagel in my vagina!”, “Hey, you got your vagina in my bagel!”… ---
**Author:** ![Potato\_Pancakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@Potato\_Pancakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Potato_Pancakes)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/34 "2007-03-09T16:16:23Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] Well, I could be persuaded to like bagels and I don’t need any encouragment at all to appreciate human female parts, but the moods that drive me to appreciate one and the other don’t seem to want to mix at all. For me, there’s no sense of “Hey, you got your bagel in my vagina!”, “Hey, you got your vagina in my bagel!”… [/QUOTE] Wouldn’t that be an awkward encounter? This is a very ham-fisted attempt to included something sexual in an ad. My favorite - I once saw one of those water-spraying, street cleaner trucks with the following slogan on the window: “Happiness is squirting my load!” ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/35 "2007-03-09T16:26:05Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] {funny stuff}. [/QUOTE] Our bagels are like vaginas: If you don’t like them, u r teh ghey!!11!!one! ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/36 "2007-03-09T20:19:29Z")
I like to spread them apart and lick out the creamy goodness. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179/37 "2007-03-09T20:39:18Z")
I like bagels. I like vaginas. I hope the day never comes when I have to choose between them. 'Cuz, I’m going to miss those bagels. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-advertising-slogan-ever/395179.md?page=1)