# Worst album covers ever! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 4, 2007, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-album-covers-ever/402830 "2007-05-04T23:59:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Hildo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@Johnny\_Hildo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Hildo)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-album-covers-ever/402830/21 "2007-05-05T06:18:21Z")
[QUOTE=Talon Karrde] Yeah, I was thinking of commenting on that one. That’s some hateful misogynist shit. [/QUOTE] Did you see the song titles on that album? 1 Lost Inside Yourself 1:35 2 Death Porn 0:25 3 Sprayed by Cans of Shit 0:28 4 Gorebortion 0:19 5 Tuan Tran: Murderer/Rapist? 0:15 6 Uncompromising Sexual Harassment at Work, Home, and in Public 0:52 7 Harvesting the Cunt Nectar 0:33 8 Skeleton Toucher 0:33 9 Desperately Craving Anal Attention 1:37 10 Fist-Fuck Death Grip 0:14 11 Buying a DVD Player (Then Raping You With my Old VHS Tapes) 0:16 12 Albukkake, NM 0:37 13 A Knife Called Pussylicker 0:29 14 Prowler in the Shower 1:07 15 The City and the World 0:28 16 Catholic Slut 0:34 17 2nd Ranked Phallic Offense VS. 26th Ranked Vaginal Defense 0:17 18 Eat Your Entrails and my Kult Ejaculant 0:32 19 The Moment You Start to Enjoy It, It’ll Get Worse 1:09 20 Priest in the Preschool 0:21 21 Semen for the Basement Slaves 0:23 22 Slut Killer 1:08 23 Baptized in Semen and Steel 0:50 24 Sunrise is a Lie 0:15 25 Failing to Contain the Gore Fountain 0:53 26 Fucked by Lightning 0:38 27 If I Dismember Your Cunt, Are You Still a Virgin? 0:37 28 Only Those Who Eat the Feces Will be Spared 1:10 29 Tangible Expression of Hate 0:25 30 Diagnosis - Zombie Slut Rape 0:40 :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-album-covers-ever/402830/22 "2007-05-05T06:40:14Z")
[QUOTE=Talon Karrde] Yeah, I was thinking of commenting on that one. That’s some hateful misogynist shit. [/QUOTE] The Google ad that came up on that page cracked me right up, though: “Existential Self Help: Why are you the way you are?” Even Google thinks they have problems! ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-album-covers-ever/402830/23 "2007-05-05T09:05:05Z")
[QUOTE=Shagnasty] [http://rateyourmusic.com/list/Goregirl/youve\_got\_to\_be\_kidding\_me\_album\_covers](http://rateyourmusic.com/list/Goregirl/youve_got_to_be_kidding_me_album_covers) [/QUOTE] I’ve seen a bunch of these lists, but I think this is the first one I’ve seen that didn’t include the **Joyce** album. And it includes an album I actually own–the Zao one, which is pretty fucking good (for an album with a bunch of naked Frenchmen on the cover), though not one of their best. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-album-covers-ever/402830/24 "2007-05-05T11:47:13Z")
The latter list should’ve included (don’t click if you’re squeamish) [Dawn of the Black Hearts](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dawn_of_the_Black_Hearts) by Mayhem, which features in full color a photo of the lead singer’s suicide-by-knife-and-shotgun. One of his bandmates took the photo upon discovering the body, then took a few skull fragments to make into necklaces. I’m thinking this one even puts #49 to shame. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-album-covers-ever/402830/25 "2007-05-05T16:25:27Z")
Ew! (why did I feel I had to click on that??) ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-album-covers-ever/402830/26 "2007-05-05T16:28:46Z")
[QUOTE=Governor Quinn] The scary (or. alternatively, impressive) thing is, one can be on a album cover this embarrassing, [and still get elected to the House](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Hall_%28New_York%29) [/QUOTE] Colbert had Hall on and ribbed him about the album. Hall was a good sport about it. Hey, it was the '70’s. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Hildo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@Johnny\_Hildo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Hildo)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-album-covers-ever/402830/27 "2007-05-05T19:55:10Z")
Here’s an article with a bit more info on the mysterious [Joyce.](http://snobsite.com/archives/2005/11/re_joyce.php) ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-album-covers-ever/402830/28 "2007-05-05T21:05:40Z")
It’s a very popular album, but somebody must have been REALLY BAKED on primo mescalino when they green-lighted [this album cover.](http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://dreamchimney.com/slvs/fleetwoodmacmysterytome_20060810085515.jpg&imgrefurl=http://dreamchimney.com/tracks/artist/Fleetwood%2520Mac&start=2&h=500&w=500&sz=63&tbnid=ijH7Byko4ae6uM:&tbnh=130&tbnw=130&hl=en&prev=/images%3Fq%3D%2522Mystery%2Bto%2BMe%2522%2B%2522Fleetwood%2BMac%2522%26gbv%3D1%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Doff%26sa%3DG) It has NOTHING to do with the contents of the album. (Fleetwood Mac’s “Mystery to Me.”) ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-album-covers-ever/402830/29 "2007-05-05T21:54:58Z")
[QUOTE=Johnny Hildo] Here’s an article with a bit more info on the mysterious [Joyce.](http://snobsite.com/archives/2005/11/re_joyce.php) [/QUOTE] Oh, god, that next-to-last image is hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-album-covers-ever/402830/30 "2007-05-05T23:22:43Z")
No list of bad albums (and major suckitude in general) is complete without the immortal [Love Beach.](http://www.ferhiga.com/progre/lyrics/lyrics-elp-love-beach.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Operation\_Ripper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/34f0e0/32.png) [@Operation\_Ripper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Operation_Ripper)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2007, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-album-covers-ever/402830/31 "2007-05-06T02:02:17Z")
I’d like to see what the fellas were up to just before taking this shot on [Orleans’ Walking and Dreaming](http://www.cenedella.com/images/album4e.jpg), and what they got into afterward. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2007, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-album-covers-ever/402830/32 "2007-05-06T02:07:33Z")
[QUOTE=Operation Ripper] I’d like to see what the fellas were up to just before taking this shot on [Orleans’ Walking and Dreaming](http://www.cenedella.com/images/album4e.jpg), and what they got into afterward. [/QUOTE] Someone already beat you to the punch! See post 12. As for what they got into afterwards, I’d say there was a good chance that it involved [Samuel Delaney.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=419408) ---
**Author:** ![Operation\_Ripper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/34f0e0/32.png) [@Operation\_Ripper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Operation_Ripper)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2007, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-album-covers-ever/402830/33 "2007-05-06T02:12:27Z")
[QUOTE=Argent Towers] Someone already beat you to the punch! See post 12. [/QUOTE] D’oh, watching undercard of De La Hoya and overlooked that one, mea culpa. ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2007, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-album-covers-ever/402830/34 "2007-05-06T06:13:13Z")
[QUOTE=Johnny Hildo] Did you see the song titles on that album? 1 Lost Inside Yourself 1:35 2 Death Porn 0:25 3 Sprayed by Cans of Shit 0:28 4 Gorebortion 0:19 5 Tuan Tran: Murderer/Rapist? 0:15 6 Uncompromising Sexual Harassment at Work, Home, and in Public 0:52 7 Harvesting the Cunt Nectar 0:33 8 Skeleton Toucher 0:33 9 Desperately Craving Anal Attention 1:37 10 Fist-Fuck Death Grip 0:14 11 Buying a DVD Player (Then Raping You With my Old VHS Tapes) 0:16 12 Albukkake, NM 0:37 13 A Knife Called Pussylicker 0:29 14 Prowler in the Shower 1:07 15 The City and the World 0:28 16 Catholic Slut 0:34 17 2nd Ranked Phallic Offense VS. 26th Ranked Vaginal Defense 0:17 18 Eat Your Entrails and my Kult Ejaculant 0:32 19 The Moment You Start to Enjoy It, It’ll Get Worse 1:09 20 Priest in the Preschool 0:21 21 Semen for the Basement Slaves 0:23 22 Slut Killer 1:08 23 Baptized in Semen and Steel 0:50 24 Sunrise is a Lie 0:15 25 Failing to Contain the Gore Fountain 0:53 26 Fucked by Lightning 0:38 27 If I Dismember Your Cunt, Are You Still a Virgin? 0:37 28 Only Those Who Eat the Feces Will be Spared 1:10 29 Tangible Expression of Hate 0:25 30 Diagnosis - Zombie Slut Rape 0:40 :eek: [/QUOTE] And special bonus track 31, “Don’t Worry Be Happy”. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2007, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-album-covers-ever/402830/35 "2007-05-06T06:19:39Z")
[Satan is Real.](http://www.purplefrog.com/~popcanon/images/satan.is.real-480x493.gif) [Julie’s Sixteenth Birthday](http://scribalterror.blogs.com/scribal_terror/images/album8e.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2007, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-album-covers-ever/402830/36 "2007-05-06T06:32:32Z")
[QUOTE=Johnny Hildo] Did you see the song titles on that album? [/QUOTE] I’d be more upset that the album is apparently about fifteen minutes long 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Operation\_Ripper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/34f0e0/32.png) [@Operation\_Ripper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Operation_Ripper)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2007, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-album-covers-ever/402830/37 "2007-05-06T11:43:28Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] [Julie’s Sixteenth Birthday](http://scribalterror.blogs.com/scribal_terror/images/album8e.jpg) [/QUOTE] Hah, maybe 20 years ago. Julie is looking a bit old timey. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2007, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-album-covers-ever/402830/38 "2007-05-06T12:20:05Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] [Satan is Real.](http://www.purplefrog.com/~popcanon/images/satan.is.real-480x493.gif) [/QUOTE] Or, _No Orthodontists in Hell_. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2007, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-album-covers-ever/402830/39 "2007-05-06T12:34:03Z")
[This is what I thought the OP was linking to.](http://salamitsunami.com/archives/91) It doesn’t have as many images, but it does have commentary. Snarky, snarky commentary. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2007, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-album-covers-ever/402830/40 "2007-05-06T12:50:25Z")
[QUOTE=Operation Ripper] Hah, maybe 20 years ago. Julie is looking a bit old timey. [/QUOTE] I don’t think it’s you Julie has to be worried about. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-album-covers-ever/402830.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-album-covers-ever/402830.md?page=3)