# Worst Animal To Be Reincarnated As?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-animal-to-be-reincarnated-as/259716>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [August 13, 2004, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-animal-to-be-reincarnated-as/259716 "2004-08-13T18:03:33Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-animal-to-be-reincarnated-as/259716/1 "2004-08-13T18:03:33Z")

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I used to think the obvious answer would be “intestinal parasite”. But now I’m thinking “cave cricket”.

These bugs live in caves their entire lives, living on mold, feces, and the occaisonal snail track. When food gets short, however, they’ll often eat one of their own hind legs for dinner. Seems to me you’d really have to screw up somewhere on the karma track to be reborn as a cave cricket.

Thoughts?

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**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-animal-to-be-reincarnated-as/259716/2 "2004-08-13T18:17:01Z")

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Naked mole rat.

Similar ooginess of lifestyle, plus you’re the butt of all kinds of jokes.

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**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-animal-to-be-reincarnated-as/259716/3 "2004-08-13T19:01:06Z")

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I’m not sure why, but I think it would be the geoduck.

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**Author:** ![RandomLetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@RandomLetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandomLetters)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-animal-to-be-reincarnated-as/259716/4 "2004-08-13T19:01:55Z")

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I would think that a dung beatle would be a pretty crappy animal to be reincarnated as.

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**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-animal-to-be-reincarnated-as/259716/5 "2004-08-13T19:21:52Z")

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Tube worm - that is anchored near a black smoker at the bottom of the ocean

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**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-animal-to-be-reincarnated-as/259716/6 "2004-08-13T19:28:00Z")

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I would not enjoy becoming an eyelash mite.

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**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-animal-to-be-reincarnated-as/259716/7 "2004-08-13T19:28:29Z")

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Tapeworm.

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**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-animal-to-be-reincarnated-as/259716/8 "2004-08-13T19:37:59Z")

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[Mink.](http://www.thenazareneway.com/vegetarian/inside_the_fur_industry.htm)

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**Author:** ![RadioWave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/91b2a8/32.png) [@RadioWave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RadioWave)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-animal-to-be-reincarnated-as/259716/9 "2004-08-13T19:40:23Z")

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> [@twickster](#):
>
> Similar ooginess of lifestyle, plus you’re the butt of all kinds of jokes.

Speaking of butt’s, [pin worms](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mpinworm.html)

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**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-animal-to-be-reincarnated-as/259716/10 "2004-08-13T19:43:10Z")

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But these things are so simple they’re probably happy. I’d think something complicated enough to feel pain and outrage would be worse: a battery farmed pig sort of thing, if there is.

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**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-animal-to-be-reincarnated-as/259716/11 "2004-08-13T19:44:01Z")

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A blind cave fish.

A feeder mouse at an exotic pet store.

A dog at a Missouri puppy mill.

Bacteria held in suspended animation, underneath miles of Antarctic ice.

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**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\
**Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-animal-to-be-reincarnated-as/259716/12 "2004-08-14T07:39:12Z")

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A Veal calf.

A Fois Gras Goose.

That fish parasite that eats the hosts tongue, and replaces the tongue with it’s own body.

A botfly. (Remember that Snopes listing? _shudder_)

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**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\
**Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-animal-to-be-reincarnated-as/259716/13 "2004-08-14T07:47:13Z")

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Actually, something like a fly that has a short life span is better. If you were a righteous fly you might reincarnate as a kind frog and then you’re just a plate of frog legs away from becoming a prince.

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**Author:** ![JoeSki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b487fb/32.png) [@JoeSki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeSki)\
**Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-animal-to-be-reincarnated-as/259716/14 "2004-08-14T13:05:04Z")

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> [@Inigo Montoya](#):
>
> [Mink.](http://www.thenazareneway.com/vegetarian/inside_the_fur_industry.htm)

Whoah! They farm _hampsters_ for fur? Who would have thunk it? Just what do you make of a hampster? Little change pouches?

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**Author:** ![Lady\_Venom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9fc348/32.png) [@Lady\_Venom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Venom)\
**Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-animal-to-be-reincarnated-as/259716/15 "2004-08-14T14:45:39Z")

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> [@Inigo Montoya](#):
>
> [Mink.](http://www.thenazareneway.com/vegetarian/inside_the_fur_industry.htm)

I’m sorry, but the least you could have done is WARN us about the graphic content of that page. :eek:

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**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\
**Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-animal-to-be-reincarnated-as/259716/16 "2004-08-14T18:01:26Z")

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A tortoise.

Most of the other choices are very short-lived. If I knew I was to be reincarnated, and found myself in one of the other forms, death would come along presently.

But if I’m stuck in a tortoise body, crawling along slowly and eating the same weeds day after interminable day, that would be true torture. 100 years or so.

What would be worse? Sitting in a cage for those 100 years.

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**Author:** ![Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine_and_Smiles)\
**Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-animal-to-be-reincarnated-as/259716/17 "2004-08-14T20:12:35Z")

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Mmm… Howsabout those African Cave Dwelling Spiders (As seen on Tv’s Fear Factor)?

Not only are they blind and creepy, but I’m sure good foods not in any sort of supply deep in whatever cavern they live.

Oh, and if I could keep my hyper mind, a sloth would be just agonizingly bad. So… Slow…

~S&S

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**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\
**Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-animal-to-be-reincarnated-as/259716/18 "2004-08-14T21:12:27Z")

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Of course, the ones that sound gross wouldn’t be gross if you were one of them. A tapeworm in a dog’s ass isn’t thinking “Damn, this is disgusting.”

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**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\
**Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-animal-to-be-reincarnated-as/259716/19 "2004-08-14T23:25:45Z")

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> [@Revtim](#):
>
> Of course, the ones that sound gross wouldn’t be gross if you were one of them. A tapeworm in a dog’s ass isn’t thinking “Damn, this is disgusting.”

Well, if they’re truly reincarnated humans, how do we know that they _don’t_ hate every minute of it, and that they just can’t communicate their feelings anymore?

No, I don’t believe that either. But still… 😃

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**Author:** ![Selkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Selkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Selkie)\
**Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-animal-to-be-reincarnated-as/259716/20 "2004-08-14T23:40:04Z")

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Dung beetle.

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