# Worst answers ever. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 29, 2011, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-answers-ever/590727 "2011-07-29T12:25:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2011, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-answers-ever/590727/21 "2011-07-30T06:27:45Z")
Cop: “I have you doing 40 in a 25” Me: “I was goin’ WAY faster than that! :p” He did not appreciate it - not one bit. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2011, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-answers-ever/590727/22 "2011-07-30T19:55:20Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > Cop: “I have you doing 40 in a 25” > Me: “I was goin’ WAY faster than that! :p” > > He did not appreciate it - not one bit. A California Highway Patrolman (off duty, friend of friend) once told me that when he pulled someone over for doing 80 mph in a speed limit 70 zone (for example), he’d tell them they “must have been doing 90.” As often as not they’d instantly say “but I was only doing 80!”; he would then note on the citation that “driver admitted doing 80mph.” . ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2011, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-answers-ever/590727/23 "2011-07-30T20:14:44Z")
True story: Me: “But tell me Honey, why sis you decide that you wanted to marry me?” Him: “I was looking through the pictures of my birthday party, and I realized I was never going to “do better” than you.” Me: :: Quietly concluding that shallow a$$hole is a$$holish. . . and soon to be lonely. :: ---
**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2011, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-answers-ever/590727/24 "2011-07-30T22:10:00Z")
Not sure this qualifies, but it’s a true story. I was in a therapy group. The facilitator ask: What is the best way to cultivate friends? Me: Put fresh manure on their graves.😃 …stunned silence…:eek: Later when my caseworker heard about it she asked if I was serious.:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2011, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-answers-ever/590727/25 "2011-07-30T22:37:42Z")
when’s the baby due? I’m not pregnant. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2011, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-answers-ever/590727/26 "2011-07-30T22:43:03Z")
“Mind if I smoke?” [“Care if I die?”](http://www.tobaccofreeca.com/_images/image_mind-if-i-smoke.jpg) Actually, I think that’s a pretty awesome answer but not everyone feels that way. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2011, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-answers-ever/590727/27 "2011-07-30T22:53:30Z")
> [@TimeWinder](#): > > At a guess, “Florida license plate” should ready just “Florida license.” > > Still not sure why that makes “are you on a road trip?” a dumb question: I can think of lots of non-road-trip reasons why you might have a driver and a car with out-of-state credentials. Especially if it’s a rental car - I’ve had it happen to me numerous times - I show up to rent a car and they give me a car with plates from elsewhere in the country. I’ve driven in the US midwest on Connecticut plates as well as driven around Maritime Canada with a car with a Quebec plate. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2011, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-answers-ever/590727/28 "2011-07-31T06:28:30Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > Unhappy Brat to Parent: _Why did you have me, anyway?_ > > Parent: _Because we didn’t know it was going to be you._ > > ============ > > Same Brat to Same Parent: _I didn’t ask to be born!_ > > Parent: _And if you had, the answer would have been “No.”_ > . . . > [@Yllaria](#): > > The current **Something Positive** has a punch line along those lines. [http://www.somethingpositive.net/](http://www.somethingpositive.net/) > If I remember, I’ll post a numbered link once it updates off the home page. [Numbered link, now that the comic isn’t on the current home page.](http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp07282011.shtml) If you use the link above, you’ll get today’s comic - which may or may not be funny. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-answers-ever/590727.md?page=1)