# Worst "As Seen On TV" Products **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 14, 2017, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-as-seen-on-tv-products/796309 "2017-09-14T11:45:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-as-seen-on-tv-products/796309/121 "2017-09-23T16:10:51Z")
Those laundry balls. Never use laundry soap again! Like the magic thaw things, a complete scam. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-as-seen-on-tv-products/796309/122 "2017-09-23T16:16:14Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Then there’s the [Lee Majors Bionic Ear](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPtqe2yhi5o&app=desktop). > > What, Lindsay Wagner wasn’t available? Because he _didn’t_ have a bionic ear, so he needed that one! ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-as-seen-on-tv-products/796309/123 "2017-09-23T16:32:06Z")
> [@Anny\_Middon](#): > > Don’t remember the name of the product, but years ago there was an infomercial for spray-on hair. The idea was that you used the gunk in the aerosol can to fill in any bald spots on your head. > > IIRC they had an audience full of balding men and went around and sprayed this stuff on them and everyone oohed and aahed. > > I cannot imagine how this would fool anyone who saw you from several feet away, let alone someone close to you. And what happened if you got caught in the rain? I work with a guy who uses spray-on hair. It’s so very obvious… especially because he only uses it in the front and leaves his bald spot in the back. You can tell he holds a piece of paper or something up in front of his face and sprays because he always has a perfectly straight hairline. About the thing that helps you put your socks on, my very pregnant boss only half-jokingly said she wanted one of those after she got to the point in her pregnancy where she couldn’t see her feet anymore. So I could see it being useful there too. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-as-seen-on-tv-products/796309/124 "2017-10-05T12:21:37Z")
> [@Orwell](#): > > We got the spray-on hair for my brother’s 40th birthday party. Believe me, it wouldn’t fool anyone within a 30-foot radius. And, yeah, it started running down his forehead when he started sweating. Funny as could be. This is [paint](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZlQMLXqw0g), Frank. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-as-seen-on-tv-products/796309/125 "2017-10-05T13:05:20Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Maybe not an As-Seen-On-TV item, but allow me to present [Pizza Scizzors](https://shop.tastemade.com/products/scizza-pizza-scissors/). Actually, the pizzeria we went to back in the 1960s used giant scissors instead of a Pizza Cutter or a big knife to slice up their pizza. They’re still around. And still using the scissors. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-as-seen-on-tv-products/796309/126 "2017-10-05T13:15:22Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > I found the original Ginsu Knife commercial is hilarious – it opens with a guy breaking a couple of boards: On the other hand, I use my Ginsu knife almost daily. Rated best buy by Consumer Reports 2011-2015. The commercials are hilarious but the product actually works. ---
**Author:** ![MacLir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@MacLir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacLir)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-as-seen-on-tv-products/796309/127 "2017-10-05T13:45:43Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > My wife picked up a “Slap Chop” at a yard sale or something for a buck. In theory, actually not the worst idea ever. In practice, a complete disaster. First off, the thing’s barely big enough to fit a crabapple, which means if you want to chop up anything larger than that you still need to break out the knife and cutting board to cut things down small enough to fit in the thing. Secondly, the “blades” are about as sharp as cookie cutters, and cut an onion just as [del]well[/del] horribly as you would expect. Third, even if the blades cut well, the pieces it cuts are totally uneven. It’s not a chopper, it’s a pulverizer. Completely useless. And nothing new. My grandmother’s kitchen had a unit like that as far back as I can remember. :rolleyes: But hers was big enough to hold some quantity, and sharp. The random sizing I grant, but it did well for mincing and chopping, just not cubing. ---
**Author:** ![MacLir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@MacLir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacLir)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-as-seen-on-tv-products/796309/128 "2017-10-05T13:54:16Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > The ‘Liquid rubber in a Can’ stuff. Never used it, I just see it that it could work in very limited circumstances, be temporary in many more (requiring now removing this stuff to either reapply it or fix it right, and just not work at all for most and now you have to deal with this stuff too to fix it. I bought some - at the building supply, not from a TV ad - and it worked passably for my purpose. Although what I really wanted was the plastic coating similar stuff. ---
**Author:** ![MacLir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@MacLir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacLir)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-as-seen-on-tv-products/796309/129 "2017-10-05T13:59:38Z")
> [@gnoitall](#): > > There are legit ones. They don’t necessarily replace a knife; they replace a food processor for coarse and mince chopping work. (A food processor doesn’t necessarily replace a knife either, since you can get good chop or mince out of the skilled use of a knife; but not every one is so skilled, and it takes more effort to corral what you’re chopping by hand than having it constrained by the chopper.) > > [Example](https://www.pamperedchef.com/shop/Cook%27s+Tools/Mandolines%2C+Slicers+%26+Choppers/Food+Chopper/2585) of a decent food chopper. Yes. That’s the updated version of what Nana had. ---
**Author:** ![MacLir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@MacLir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacLir)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-as-seen-on-tv-products/796309/130 "2017-10-05T14:02:13Z")
> [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](#): > > Has anybody ever tried to use a [Flowbee](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flowbee) (and lived to tell the tale)? I dunno, but something about ‘stick my hair down the vacuum cleaner’ doesn’t sit right with me… But then again, maybe it’s awesome! > > And does anybody else think that ShamWow-guy looks like a leprechaun? Flowbee doesn’t work well. The Robocut (original, I think) works pretty well. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-as-seen-on-tv-products/796309/131 "2017-10-05T15:34:42Z")
For those who missed **running coach** ’s reference, [Scruples (miniseries) - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scruples_(miniseries)) Anyone ever tried those silicone lint rollers? My local stores carry half a dozen different brands of the sticky-tape rollers, but none of the silicone, which leads me to suspect that they don’t work as well as advertised. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-as-seen-on-tv-products/796309/132 "2017-10-05T16:14:28Z")
> [@MacLir](#): > > Flowbee doesn’t work well. The Robocut (original, I think) works pretty well. Doesn’t Rand Paul cut his own hair with a Flowbee? Or is that one of those stories so good it ought to be true even though it isn’t? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-as-seen-on-tv-products/796309/133 "2017-10-05T16:19:15Z")
> [@mbh](#): > > For those who missed **running coach** ’s reference, [Scruples (miniseries) - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scruples_(miniseries)) > > . Actually, I never heard of the series. I was making a straight comment, shocking as that might be. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2017, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-as-seen-on-tv-products/796309/134 "2017-10-06T02:44:51Z")
[The Flowbee definitely sucks.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AioVDsXidh0) ---
**Author:** ![analogqueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/898d66/32.png) [@analogqueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/analogqueen)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2017, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-as-seen-on-tv-products/796309/135 "2017-10-07T06:52:34Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > I got a couple for Christmas, I use them as sleep bras when Fred, Ethyl and Ricky act up [yes, I did name my breast cysts, doesn’t everyone? Still waiting to get a second one on the right side so I can name it Lucy :p] breast _cysts??_ And, they’re actually named?? Does green stuff ooze out of them? The bamboo bra- didn’t buy, but I’m baffled as to why anyone would. They’re ugly. Very unfeminine- for one, they’re beige. Beige bras? Come on, guys! they make women’s bosoms look like deflated pillows. You can get a nice inexpensive bra at Ross Dress for Less that for maybe what, nine, maybe less dollars? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2017, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-as-seen-on-tv-products/796309/136 "2017-10-07T09:42:21Z")
Maybe I’m just weird, but I’m more inclined to buy a bra because it’s comfortable and provides support than because it looks “feminine”. But then, I’ve been described as ruthlessly practical. That, and my late spouse was more into naked ladies than fancy lingerie. Think most of my bras have been beige. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2017, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-as-seen-on-tv-products/796309/137 "2017-10-07T16:32:36Z")
> [@analogqueen](#): > > breast _cysts??_ And, they’re actually named?? Does green stuff ooze out of them? > > The bamboo bra- didn’t buy, but I’m baffled as to why anyone would. They’re ugly. Very unfeminine- for one, they’re beige. Beige bras? Come on, guys! > > they make women’s bosoms look like deflated pillows. You can get a nice inexpensive bra at Ross Dress for Less that for maybe what, nine, maybe less dollars? In many women, [cysts](http://breast-cancer.ca/simplecyst/) are very common - they are hard lumps that may or may not have formed around something [think of a pearl in an oyster, the body ‘spins’ fiberous tissue around _something_] and they are long term things, I have had them for various amounts of time, the eldest [Fred] is about 25 years old, the most recent [Lucy] is about 6 years old. Cysts are the little lumps that most women will feel on a self breast exam or show up in mammograms that are deemed harmless [for various values of harmless.] Nothing wrong with beige bras, if your shirt is slightly see through a black or white one will just POP visually while the beige ones blend in to the generalized skin tone [on me, or most caucasian women] so it is a valid bra color. Breast ‘looks’ cycle in and out of fashion ranging from pointy bullets to flat teen boy monoboob. Personal style =) ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2017, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-as-seen-on-tv-products/796309/138 "2017-10-07T17:49:18Z")
> [@analogqueen](#): > > You can get a nice inexpensive bra at Ross Dress for Less that for maybe what, nine, maybe less dollars? Maybe if you’re an A or B cup. I’ve never met a $9 bra that can contend with my ample bosom, though. My boobs laugh in the face…er, cups of cheap bras: “…and you thought that mere lace could contain our greatness. MWAHAHAHAHA!” ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-as-seen-on-tv-products/796309.md?page=6)