# Worst Author Photos **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 30, 2004, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-author-photos/262144 "2004-08-30T00:25:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![chukhung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e79b87/32.png) [@chukhung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chukhung)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-author-photos/262144/1 "2004-08-30T00:25:35Z")
I saw this [book](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1843101521/qid=1093825407/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/102-7029029-3561713?v=glance&s=books) in a bookstore today and idly flipped through it to see what it was about (I had no idea that such a work could be useful). What really caught my eye, though, was the [picture of the author](http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/1843101521/ref=sib_rdr_bc/102-7029029-3561713?%5Fencoding=UTF8&p=S06Q#reader-link) on the back cover. Yikes. I guess he must have decided to skip hiring a photographer and just used a photo machine at the train station… Any other examples of books that have particularly bad photos of their authors on the back? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-author-photos/262144/2 "2004-08-30T02:09:32Z")
Jack Chalker’s anthology **Dance Band on the Titanic**. The cover shows a painting of a vaguely Kenny Rogers-esque author sitting at his word processor, bedeviled by miniature versions of his creations (Chalker is an sf/fantasy author, and his creations are pretty damned weird, even by sf standards). You turn to the inside back cover, and you find this weird explanation (paraphrased from memory): “The gent n the cover is Darrell K. Sweet, the artist who does the covers for my books. Here’s why. I look like this:” and below that is one of the worst author photos I’ve ever seen. I’ve seen Chalker in person. A Beautiful Person he ain’t, but he’s not the Elephant Man, either. I suspect he just didn’t like sitting for either photos or paintings. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-author-photos/262144/3 "2004-08-30T02:31:55Z")
Anne McCaffrey had a pretty gruesome photo in some of her later Dragonrider books. Cackling old senile lady wearing some sort of low cut cocktail number. _wince_ ---
**Author:** ![Freejooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ba8739/32.png) [@Freejooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freejooky)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-author-photos/262144/4 "2004-08-30T03:38:02Z")
My favorite is the Chuck Palahniuk progression from hell - From [affable geek](http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0385720920/ref=sib_dp_pt/103-3874591-8772611#reader-page), to [frightening steriod-fueled monster](http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0385504470/ref=sib_dp_pt/103-3874591-8772611#reader-page), before finally deciding on [Orko from Masters of The Universe.](http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0385509472/ref=sib_dp_pt/103-3874591-8772611#reader-page)🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Freejooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ba8739/32.png) [@Freejooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freejooky)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-author-photos/262144/5 "2004-08-30T03:39:05Z")
> [@Freejooky](#): > > My favorite is the Chuck Palahniuk progression from hell - > > From [affable geek](http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0385720920/ref=sib_dp_pt/103-3874591-8772611#reader-page), to [frightening steriod-fueled monster](http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0385504470/ref=sib_dp_pt/103-3874591-8772611#reader-page), before finally deciding on [Orko from Masters of The Universe.](http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0385509472/ref=sib_dp_pt/103-3874591-8772611#reader-page)🙂 Arrgh, I just realized none of those links take you to the correct picture. Kindly kick the “\>” or “\<” buttons to flip to the right one. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-author-photos/262144/6 "2004-08-30T04:32:29Z")
> [@Freejooky](#): > > My favorite is the Chuck Palahniuk progression from hell - > > From [affable geek](http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0385720920/ref=sib_dp_pt/103-3874591-8772611#reader-page), to [frightening steriod-fueled monster](http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0385504470/ref=sib_dp_pt/103-3874591-8772611#reader-page), before finally deciding on [Orko from Masters of The Universe.](http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0385509472/ref=sib_dp_pt/103-3874591-8772611#reader-page)🙂 I can’t figure out how that last one is bad. Looks fairly normal to me…and nothing like Orko. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-author-photos/262144/7 "2004-08-30T04:55:15Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > I can’t figure out how that last one is bad. Looks fairly normal to me…and nothing like Orko. My copy’s at home, but I think it has a different photo. In any case, on of his books has a photo of him standing with his arms folded, and he looks rather pumped & pissed. Not all that bad, though. ---
**Author:** ![Freejooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ba8739/32.png) [@Freejooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freejooky)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-author-photos/262144/8 "2004-08-30T05:21:45Z")
> [@Sublight](#): > > My copy’s at home, but I think it has a different photo. In any case, on of his books has a photo of him standing with his arms folded, and he looks rather pumped & pissed. Not all that bad, though. That’s the “Frightening steroid-fueled monster” pic. ---
**Author:** ![Freejooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ba8739/32.png) [@Freejooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freejooky)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-author-photos/262144/9 "2004-08-30T05:24:16Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > I can’t figure out how that last one is bad. Looks fairly normal to me…and nothing like Orko. It’s the ears, baby, the ears! ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-author-photos/262144/10 "2004-08-30T11:29:38Z")
Several Garrison Keillor book photos aren’t particularly complimentary. And I thought that little sketch of Ayn Rand on the back of the old edition PBs was much better that showing an actual photo ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-author-photos/262144/11 "2004-08-30T12:54:15Z")
Just pick up any Stephen King book. The dude is FUGLY. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-author-photos/262144/12 "2004-08-30T13:04:26Z")
Andrew Vachss’s first book “Flood” had a right profile shot with his hair blowing in the wind. He looks like Columbo. Obviously, they wanted a shot without his eyepatch. His later shots show a tall, skinny, strange looking guy wearing an eyepatch ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-author-photos/262144/13 "2004-08-30T13:05:50Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Just pick up any Stephen King book. The dude is FUGLY. Yup. I figure Tabitha has always put a bag over his head before sex. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-author-photos/262144/14 "2004-08-30T13:11:35Z")
She’s no prize either. ---
**Author:** ![chukhung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e79b87/32.png) [@chukhung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chukhung)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-author-photos/262144/15 "2004-08-30T13:53:55Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > She’s no prize either. Sex in the King household: You don’t want to look, but you’re scared of turning off all the lights… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-author-photos/262144/16 "2004-08-30T14:14:31Z")
Let’s see–Stephen and Tabitha are both published authors, have tons of money, and a real love match that has survived some tragedies…I wouldn’t mind looking like either of them to get what they got. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-author-photos/262144/17 "2004-08-30T14:40:48Z")
The pic of Kilgore Trout on the back of _Venus on the Half-Shell_. ---
**Author:** ![igloorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/858c86/32.png) [@igloorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/igloorex)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-author-photos/262144/18 "2004-08-30T17:42:55Z")
This pic of [Shel Silverstein](http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0060256656/ref=sib_rdr_bc/002-1066571-7495232?%5Fencoding=UTF8&p=S007#reader-link), the author of the sappy children’s book “The Giving Tree.” The picture itself is bad - grainy, not well lit. And he just looks really angry in the picture. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-author-photos/262144/19 "2004-08-30T17:49:18Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Just pick up any Stephen King book. The dude is FUGLY. Yes, but I find he’s pretty good about finding pictures for the author pictures that minimise that. He’ll never win any beauty contests based on them, but he looks a lot less…froggish.