# Worst Best-Seller (Novel?) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 30, 2015, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-best-seller-novel/718872 "2015-04-30T05:16:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-best-seller-novel/718872/1 "2015-04-30T05:16:30Z")
In general, there is a pretty strong correlation between a novel’s sales figures and its real literary quality. But…not always. I’m curious what people might suggest as the worst best-seller that comes to mind. The best I can do is “Clan of the Cave Bear,” which…wasn’t really that bad. It had some severe problems, but it was an “okay” page-turner. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-best-seller-novel/718872/2 "2015-04-30T05:58:51Z")
The Da Vinci Code? Valley of the Dolls? Fifty Shades of Gray? ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-best-seller-novel/718872/3 "2015-04-30T08:26:17Z")
**The Bridges of Madison County** - Read it, then tossed it into a wood burning stove. ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-best-seller-novel/718872/4 "2015-04-30T08:41:55Z")
_50 shades of grey_, hands down worst book I’ve ever read. _Clan of the cave bear_ is, as you say, not great, _The DaVinci Code_ is standard suspense fiction supported by faux “controversy”, but 50 shades is simply poorly written through and through. I challenge anyone who suggest other best sellers to actually read 50 shades and not change their mind. ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-best-seller-novel/718872/5 "2015-04-30T10:39:39Z")
**The Clansman** helped bring back the KKK. That seems pretty bad. I liked **Clan of the Cave Bear**. I think a lot of its bad reputation comes from the sequels, which devolved almost immediately into a mix of trashy romance and Tom Swift novels. **The Da Vinci Code** was a fun, cheesy thriller. I think a lot of its bad reputation comes from the eye-rolling attempts in the media to base some sort of philosophical discussion around it. I haven’t read **50 Shades** except for a few excerpts my gf read to make fun of, but its seems like its main point is to sexually titillate people. And judging by the people that bought it, they were indeed titillated. So I have trouble calling it “bad”, since it set out what it meant to do, even if its not necessarily what a lot of people are interested in in a novel. ---
**Author:** ![dasmoocher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@dasmoocher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasmoocher)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-best-seller-novel/718872/6 "2015-04-30T11:19:07Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > The Da Vinci Code? Ding…ding…ding… My vote. Edited to add: I haven’t experienced the other novels mentioned. Which may be a good thing. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-best-seller-novel/718872/7 "2015-04-30T11:45:54Z")
> [@BlankSlate](#): > > **The Bridges of Madison County** - Read it, then tossed it into a wood burning stove. Highly recommended by Oprah, of course. :rolleyes: I didn’t read the book, but saw the movie. It’s the only Meryl Streep role I couldn’t stand. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-best-seller-novel/718872/8 "2015-04-30T11:58:31Z")
**Battlefield Earth** , hands down. It’s L. Ron Hubbard, decades after his peak writing ability, churning out latter-day Space Opera infused with his philosophy\*, and without any editor gutsy enough to ride herd on him. This allowed the book to balloon to an absurd length with unchecked style\*\* Finally, it’s pretty much taken as a given is that the only reason the book got on the bestseller list in the first place is because Hubbard deployed his minions as a Tactical Buying Squad, making sure enough copies were bought in bookstores that counted so that it’d get on the list.\*\*\* \*The book doesn’t explicitly push Hubbard’s Dianetics or Scientology, amazingly. But it still shows Hubbard’s thinking and attitudes. It couldn’t help but do so. \*\*Bridge Publications was owned by the Church and by Hubbard. The editor was his employee and, most likely, a member of the CoS. He’s going to be awfully intimidated about criticizing the word of his boss and his religious leader. \*\*\*Mad magazine cynically suggested that unscrupulous publishers might get their books on the bestseller list by sending out people specifically to buy lots of copies of the books. This is the only case where I’ve heard people saying that they thought anyone actually did it. ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-best-seller-novel/718872/9 "2015-04-30T12:06:16Z")
Of the ones I’ve read, easily The DaVinci Code. ---
**Author:** ![dasmoocher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@dasmoocher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasmoocher)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-best-seller-novel/718872/10 "2015-04-30T12:33:09Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > **Battlefield Earth** , hands down. Waitaminute…didn’t this give us the classic John Travolta opus? How dareya sir… Daggers at dawn… Oh, wait; I’m not in a LRH novel. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-best-seller-novel/718872/11 "2015-04-30T13:22:37Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > In general, there is a pretty strong correlation between a novel’s sales figures and its real literary quality. Cite? Quality and popularity are independent variables. You can be popular and good, popular and bad, unpopular and good, and unpopular and bad. And most best sellers don’t really stand the test of time. Look at [this list](http://www.ranker.com/list/best-selling-novels-of-the-1950_s/bestselling-books), for instance. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-best-seller-novel/718872/12 "2015-04-30T14:15:51Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > In general, there is a pretty strong correlation between a novel’s sales figures and its real literary quality. RC’s beaten me to it, but… seriously? No. I get the gist of what I think you might be trying to say - that a book has to be pretty good on some level to sell a lot of copies, especially over time and es-especially through more than one era. But no, a lot of very fine books remain micro-sellers and a lot of abysmal crap can’t find enough trucks to get copies to stores. Big sales these days have a lot more to do with the publisher’s investment in an author, which is driven by the simple naked belief that this author/book/trilogy/series will sell like flapjacks. Authors and books aren’t anointed in this process because they’re the next Hemingway or Faulkner or even King; they are chosen through the most cynical possible process because they might be the next Rowling, Collins or **shudder** Patterson. Or Clancy/Crichton/Cussler _if we’re lucky_. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-best-seller-novel/718872/13 "2015-04-30T14:36:18Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > **The Da Vinci Code** was a fun, cheesy thriller. I think a lot of its bad reputation comes from the eye-rolling attempts in the media to base some sort of philosophical discussion around it. My biggest problem with The Da Vinci Code was that people seemed to be too stupid to realize it was a work of fiction. On top of that it didn’t take long to realize that Dan Brown was a trick pony; and that all of his stories are generically the same story. ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-best-seller-novel/718872/14 "2015-04-30T14:39:07Z")
This is going back a bit, but I can recall when everything Danielle Steele wrote made it to the best seller list. Dreadful lowest-common-denominator writing. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-best-seller-novel/718872/15 "2015-04-30T14:40:23Z")
> [@Enright3](#): > > My biggest problem with The Da Vinci Code was that people seemed to be too stupid to realize it was a work of fiction. On top of that it didn’t take long to realize that Dan Brown was a trick pony; and that all of his stories are generically the same story. I found it boring and unreadable. It just wasn’t something i had any interest in, and the plot was (laughable) absurd. Tom Clancy novels-after “Hunt For Red October” (which was very good), all of his stuff became similar-it was like a computer just scrambled a few words around. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-best-seller-novel/718872/16 "2015-04-30T14:45:34Z")
> [@dasmoocher](#): > > Waitaminute…didn’t this give us the classic John Travolta opus? > > How dareya sir… > > Daggers at dawn… > > Oh, wait; I’m not in a LRH novel. > > Carry on. The John Travolta opus was fully up to the quality of the novel. Although it did give us a scene with Kelly Preston (Travolta’s wife) with a long CGI tongue and some side-splittingly bad dialogue. We can always thank it for that. > [@](#): > > Chirk: I am going to make you as happy as a baby Psychlo on a straight diet of kerbango. 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**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-best-seller-novel/718872/17 "2015-04-30T15:42:15Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > **The Da Vinci Code** was a fun, cheesy thriller. I think a lot of its bad reputation comes from the eye-rolling attempts in the media to base some sort of philosophical discussion around it. No, its bad reputation comes from the fact that it’s mind-numbingly bad. The writing is horrible, worse than some really shitty self-published novels I’ve read free on my Kindle. The dialogue is laughably bad, the plot is ridiculous and what are presented in the novel as facts are ludicrous. I can’t think of a single positive thing to say about the book other than I got it as a free download on special from Amazon. ---
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-best-seller-novel/718872/18 "2015-04-30T16:13:36Z")
Twilight is the only example I’ve had any experience with. That was truly a godawful book. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-best-seller-novel/718872/19 "2015-04-30T16:15:16Z")
Sigh. Don’t kids today ever read the classics anymore? > **[Naked Came the Stranger](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naked_Came_the_Stranger)** > > Naked Came the Stranger is a 1969 novel written as a literary hoax poking fun at the American literary culture of its time. Though credited to "Penelope Ashe," it was in fact written by a group of twenty-four journalists led by Newsday columnist Mike McGrady. > McGrady's intention was to write a book that was both deliberately terrible and contained a lot of descriptions of sex, to illustrate the point that popular American literary culture had become mindlessly vulgar. The book fulfilled the au... ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-best-seller-novel/718872/20 "2015-04-30T16:27:27Z")
> [@Barking\_Dog](#): > > Twilight is the only example I’ve had any experience with. That was truly a godawful book. I don’t read many books I expect to dislike, so I have not read many of the books listed here. However, I read Twilight when it was emerging as a popular book, not knowing if it was any good or not. I am an English teacher and thought perhaps we had something big here. Wow, it really was bad. Very, very bad. I did finish it and I kind of liked the last little confrontation between the villains and the main characters, but it was badly written and way overlong. I also assumed he would “vampify” her at the end of the 1st book, but apparently that doesn’t even occur until much, much later in the books. Anyway, it’s the worst popular book I’ve read. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-best-seller-novel/718872.md?page=2)