# Worst Beverage? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** soda-softdrinks\ **Created:** [March 14, 2024, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-beverage/998850 "2024-03-14T23:38:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-beverage/998850/21 "2024-03-15T01:37:16Z")
Yeah that was gonna be my answer. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-beverage/998850/22 "2024-03-15T01:51:47Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > I’ve encountered nothing yet that eclipses Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray soda in sheer awfulness. Imagine my surprise that someone beat me to this one, but yes. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-beverage/998850/23 "2024-03-15T02:06:42Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > Guys, it’s Malort. > In a similar vein, Tremaine Atkinson, founder of CH Distillery, was introduced to Malört when he first moved to Chicago, when he compared it to “taking a bite out of a grapefruit and then drinking a shot of gasoline”. Well now I feel like I must try it. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-beverage/998850/24 "2024-03-15T02:08:48Z")
That was my thought. “Lets play Dare!” ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-beverage/998850/25 "2024-03-15T02:14:29Z")
My closest liquor store that carries it is half an hour away, so not immediately , but I’m gonna do it. > **[Where to Buy Malort | Find a Seller Near You](https://malort.com/where-to-buy/)** > > Looking for where to buy Jeppson's Malort? Use our locator to easily find a seller near you and satisfy your craving for bold taste and character. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-beverage/998850/26 "2024-03-15T02:35:47Z")
I’ll link to the list, but this one sums it up best for me: “Imagine rotten grapefruit with the lingering after taste of a tire fire. Pretty much that.” — _Karen Rose_ Only a couple of them mentioned bug spray, and I have to say that’s on topic. There is definitely a bug spray note, something synthetically herbal. And 1970’s Lysol. Like not even the stuff your Mother used, but the kind only school janitors had access to. There’s a touch of that Lysol in there. > **[What does Malört taste like? Sun-Times readers weigh in](https://chicago.suntimes.com/entertainment-and-culture/2021/8/25/22641237/what-does-malort-taste-like-chicago-liquor)** > > “It’s like if shame and regret were left to ferment before being distilled through an old, sweaty shoe,” one reader said. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-beverage/998850/27 "2024-03-15T02:39:24Z")
> [@SCAdian](#): > > Moxie. I actually love Moxie. It tastes like the bubble gum that came in baseball cards. Almost - but not quite - wintergreen. Like the smell of sassafras leaves with a bit of caramel mixed in. But then I had a Dad from NH who inured me to Moxie early in life. So there was never any chance for me, really. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-beverage/998850/28 "2024-03-15T02:41:58Z")
I like the smell of coffee, but cannot stand the taste and can even detect it in microscopic amounts in beverages and food. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-beverage/998850/29 "2024-03-15T02:42:53Z")
It does not taste like coconut, I’ll give you that. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-beverage/998850/30 "2024-03-15T03:00:19Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > I actually love Moxie. It tastes like the bubble gum that came in baseball cards. Almost - but not quite - wintergreen. Like the smell of sassafras leaves with a bit of caramel mixed in. I visited New England autumn before last. Among other things friends from Maine told me I _had_ to try was Moxie (also had the obligatory lobster roll, and stuck my hand in the water at the beach). I fully believe you, but I did not have a similar taste experience. To me, it basically tasted like someone made Dr. Pepper and forgot half the sugar. But I don’t know, maybe that’s what Dr. Pepper really tastes like and the sugar just covers up most of it. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-beverage/998850/31 "2024-03-15T03:01:07Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > [Tsongul](https://disgustingfoodmuseum.com/ttongsul-poo-wine-korean-rice-wine-with-child-feces/) poop wine > > Perhaps if paired with just the right cheese, but still I doubt it I’m thinking this is the winner. > [@](#): > > The yellow-brownish liquid is strained and looks like a combination of sewer slime and vomit, potentially with small pieces of poo still floating around. The taste is a bit sour and similar to rice wine. Poo wine has a faint poo smell and can leave a poo smell on your breath. It contains about 9% alcohol. The smell and the visual appearance of this alcoholic drink are worse than the actual taste of it. Undoubtedly as terrific a detoxifier and cure-all as aged urine, which has a greater number of modern adherents. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-beverage/998850/32 "2024-03-15T03:03:01Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > [Tsongul](https://disgustingfoodmuseum.com/ttongsul-poo-wine-korean-rice-wine-with-child-feces/) poop wine But is it really a _beverage_, or rather a “medicine”? ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-beverage/998850/33 "2024-03-15T03:03:16Z")
I learned in pharmacy school that back in the olden days, medicines were deliberately formulated to taste bad because people thought unpleasant-tasting things worked better. That, however, is taking things a bit too far. ---
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-beverage/998850/34 "2024-03-15T03:05:54Z")
Again, I’ve only voted based on what I’ve actively tasted, but if we’re going for worst beverages based on contents, quality, and effort in crafting, we should probably at least consider [Pruno](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pruno). I suggest we try to get Ghouliani to do a pre-emptive visit to such qualified brewers and give us a report. -snicker- ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-beverage/998850/35 "2024-03-15T03:09:39Z")
> [@Maserschmidt](#): > > Well now I feel like I must try it. Does anyone drink Malort more than once? It seems like the kind of thing that people try, just for the experience, but never do it again. That’s an interesting business strategy. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-beverage/998850/36 "2024-03-15T03:12:50Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > it basically tasted like someone made Dr. Pepper and forgot half the sugar. Ewwww no. I hate Dr. Pepper and I still think it tastes like prune juice, no matter how much they deny it. But I agree Moxie is much less sweet than most soft drinks, and that’s part of what I like about it. It’s mostly in the root beer category. Mostly. . . ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUBv.2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanubv.2/32/3260_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUBv.2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUBv.2)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-beverage/998850/37 "2024-03-15T03:19:11Z")
I’ve never heard of most of the things mentioned here but most of them sound like things I would only taste in exchange for money. A malort whore, if you will. The nastiest drink that I’ve actually tasted is a Bloody Mary. Energy drinks are a close second. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-beverage/998850/38 "2024-03-15T03:28:15Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > > [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > > > [Tsongul](https://disgustingfoodmuseum.com/ttongsul-poo-wine-korean-rice-wine-with-child-feces/) poop wine > > But is it really a _beverage_, or rather a “medicine”? The categories may overlap. On my do-not-try list is Fernet-Branca, a beverage that is 39% alcohol and contains extracts of 27 different kinds of herbs and roots. It is variably described as “intensely bitter”, “gross” and “disgusting” (even among aficionados). It is used as a “digestive” for upset stomachs and to treat hangover, added to mixed drinks or consumed by itself. Another evaluation (by someone who eventually came to crave it): “It tasted like boiled woodchips. It tasted like some hideous pre-Hippocratic Chinese remedy, or maybe the kind of after-dinner mint they’d offer in hell.” Yeah baby. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-beverage/998850/39 "2024-03-15T03:35:43Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > On my do-not-try list is Fernet-Branca, a beverage that is 39% alcohol and contains extracts of 27 different kinds of herbs and roots. It is variably described as “intensely bitter”, “gross” and “disgusting” (even among aficionados). It is used as a “digestive” for upset stomachs and to treat hangover, added to mixed drinks or consumed by itself. I used it for exactly that back in college, and a little bit into adulthood, and I can tell you that it works. I don’t care if it was a placebo effect, it worked. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-beverage/998850/40 "2024-03-15T03:41:07Z")
Local bar has a bottle of Fernet on the top (but inaccessibly close to the ceiling) shelf. I asked about it, and the bartender said she wouldn’t pour me a shot, but she would put a few tablespoons in a mixed drink (“Like the Hanky Panky”, she said with a sour expression). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-beverage/998850.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-beverage/998850.md?page=3)