# Worst Book You've Read **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 7, 2000, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-book-youve-read/15832 "2000-04-07T21:27:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![SouthernXYL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@SouthernXYL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernXYL)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-book-youve-read/15832/41 "2000-04-08T13:31:00Z")
I LOVE “Pride and Prejudice.” I HATE “Bridges of Madison County.” I’m with whoever hated the “Bio of a Space Tyrant” crap but read them all anyway - why did we do that? As a teen, I read a bunch of nihilist stuff like “Childhood’s End” and so forth; don’t know why, because it made me feel bad. It all stuck with me though for some reason. Last Tuesday (over 2 decades later) I hurt my back, and the doctor prescribed Soma (a muscle relaxant.) Immediately I thought of “Brave New World” - “a gram is better than a damn!” ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-book-youve-read/15832/42 "2000-04-08T13:48:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by TVeblen: > \*\*\* David Copperfield; okay, Dickens was the Stephen King of his day. “DIE, Dora, die!”\*\* Oh c’mon, Veb, you can’t tell me you didn’t WANT Dora dead from a point about five minutes after the wedding? I say he shoulda killed her earlier. And her little dog, too. Agnes rules. I just thought of another title that goes BEYOND bad…Ira Levin’s _Son of Rosemary._ This one deserves special mention…it not only sucks on its own, but reaches back THIRTY YEARS INTO THE PAST to ruin _Rosemary’s Baby,_ the first great postmodern horror novel. A spectacular achievement. Shun it! * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-book-youve-read/15832/43 "2000-04-08T14:15:00Z")
How could I forget Cooper’s “Last of the Mohicans.” Plot was all right, I suppose, but his writing style was horrible. I mean, English is my first language and I had a hard time deciphering what he was saying. I’d give you a quotation, but I shredded the thing. “Pride and Prejudice” is one of my favorite novels… ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-book-youve-read/15832/44 "2000-04-08T15:35:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Dirty Devil: > \*\*I read the _Catcher In The Rye_ a few years ago. It sucked so hard I almost didn’t finish it. A complete and total waste of time. \*\* Can I get an amen? Catcher sucked from page one. The other booked I absolutely loathed was **Great Expectations**. I had to read it in 11th grade. I hated that little puke Pip anyway, and then the teacher parsed the whole fucking book over the span of a week. Agony. * * * This is getting hard. Somebody relieve me. (A Wallian exclamation) ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-book-youve-read/15832/45 "2000-04-08T15:52:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by whitetho: > **_Atlas Shrugged_.** **OH…MY…GOOD…LORD!** Girl, what ever can you be thinking??? I think I know…“Who is John Galt?” 😉 * * * Just make yourself comfy while I shoot nuclear particles into your heart. (Courtesy of Wally) ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-book-youve-read/15832/46 "2000-04-08T15:58:00Z")
Has anyone else read Don DeLillo’s _Underworld_? I thought it had a great opening, followed by 700+ pages of **WTF?!?!?**. As for William Gibson, I could get into _Neuromancer_, but _Idoru_ seemed to be a rather lame follow-up. DHR ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-book-youve-read/15832/47 "2000-04-08T16:34:00Z")
Fascinating Womanhood by Helen someone. It basically said do whatever your husband tells you, forget about your own desires, treat him like a spoiled child, he’s more important than you are. I’m serious…and so was the author… :rolleyes: * * * [http://members.aol.com/abbie4ever22/index.html](http://members.aol.com/abbie4ever22/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![sorrel554](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@sorrel554](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sorrel554)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-book-youve-read/15832/48 "2000-04-09T05:23:00Z")
I have to agree with _She’s Come Undone_. It was praised to the skies, but I hated it. My SO read Lamb’s next book _I Know This Much Is True_ (I think that’s the title). I didn’t go anywhere near it, but some of the excerpts he read me lead me to think that it is even worse than the first one. ---
**Author:** ![Bucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Bucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bucky)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-book-youve-read/15832/49 "2000-04-09T05:51:00Z")
Books so bad I couldn’t finish them don’t count, right? (I did use a generic version of Cliff Notes just once–The Mill on The Floss was too awful to finish.) I stop reading books that I don’t like within an hour, usually. I lasted 5 minutes with Dune. Short book, but incredibly painful–The Beast in the Jungle (IIRC) by Henry James. Everything that I have read by him is unbelievably dull, turgid, infuriating slop. Bucky ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-book-youve-read/15832/50 "2000-04-08T20:12:00Z")
I kinda read _David Copperfield_, but it’s just so goddam long and slow that I skipped over as much as I could. Of course I was in ninth grade at the time, but my God did it suck. I’d read a page and realize that it took five minutes and I still had no idea what was going on. Authors should not be paid by the word. While I’m here, I’d also like to rant about Vonnegut’s _Breakfast of Champions_. The only reason I even read most of this was because I was on a direct flight from Osaka to Minneapolis and the movie playing at the time was _Meet Joe Black_. I happen to love my country, and reading a book mostly filled with gratuitous anti-American potshots just pissed me off. ---
**Author:** ![PauloPaulo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/76d3ee/32.png) [@PauloPaulo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PauloPaulo)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-book-youve-read/15832/51 "2000-04-08T20:40:00Z")
“A Tale of Two Cities” really sucks ---
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-book-youve-read/15832/52 "2000-04-08T20:59:00Z")
A science fiction book called I believe Voyager in Night. The name of the alien force in the book was \>\<. It had whole lines of text that looked like this \>\>==\>\< said ==\> and he replied ==\<\>! After about 50 pages of this nonsense the book ended up in the trash. ---
**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-book-youve-read/15832/53 "2000-04-08T21:23:00Z")
No doubt many, many, many readers will disagree with me but I found Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s “The General in His Labyrinth” to be a disappointment. The book tells the story of the dying General Simon Bolivar as he travels down some interminable river towards his mysterious destiny, recounting his many loves and adventures. What with all the graphic descriptions of Bolivar’s physical ailments (his insomnia, his vomiting, his garish, bony appearance, his “stony gas”) I was quite relieved when the old coot finally kicked it. * * * “My hovercraft is full of eels.” ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-book-youve-read/15832/54 "2000-04-09T01:30:00Z")
“An American Trajedy”, by Theodore Dreiser, hands down. I had to read it in three days for a class, and it was sheer torture. I kept the book for a couple of years just to abuse it when I felt the need. It ended up burnt, drop-kicked, hurled into a busy intersection, flushed(attempted) down the toilet, used as toilet paper, etc… and finally met it’s end with a chainsaw after a party. Vile book, that. * * * The ride is short and the thrills are cheap- Men and rollercoasters. - - -Courtesy of Wally, that Signifying Guy. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-book-youve-read/15832/55 "2000-04-09T01:37:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Trumpy303: > **"Earth" by David Brin. While it had some interesting bits (man-made black holes, 3-D computing, REALLY good internet search engines 🙂 ) it just moved soooooooooooo sloooooooooowly. I had gotten to the point of being able to read no more than 2 pages at a time before I had to put it down. Sheeeez, and I thought Stephen King was wordy! I did finally force myself to finish it, but the ending was NOT worth the effort!** Hey I liked _Earth_! The end was a bit hokey though, I’ll grant you that. Of course, I practically worship David Brin so that might have something to do with it. The worst book I ever read… god I remember it vividly but not the title or the author. It involved some supposedly “pagan” people and native indians and some Aztec god coming to life… and people getting murdered in Albuquerque… there were airline stewardesses involved somehow… there was an absolutely retarded rooftop battle scene… the whole thing was just 100% pure awful. I actually read paragraphs to my husband aloud and we’d howl in laughter, but the book wasn’t supposed to be funny… * * * – I have over 2000 posts, dammit! Show some respect. [http://fathom.org/opalcat/showmerespect.jpg](http://fathom.org/opalcat/showmerespect.jpg) O p a l C a t [www.opalcat.com](http://www.opalcat.com) ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-book-youve-read/15832/56 "2000-04-09T01:45:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Democritus: > The worst book (probably because of the rave reviews by friend and the associated expectation) I’ve read was **The Celestine Prophecy**. What a pile of dog crap!!! YES!!! My god, I had two friends recommend it to me and then expect me to “live by it’s principles” or something… after I’d read it they’d refer to it CONSTANTLY. It was such utter crap! Stupid ideas, SOOOOO poorly written… and yet it’s so popular!! WHY??? * * * – I have over 2000 posts, dammit! Show some respect. [http://fathom.org/opalcat/showmerespect.jpg](http://fathom.org/opalcat/showmerespect.jpg) O p a l C a t [www.opalcat.com](http://www.opalcat.com) ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-book-youve-read/15832/57 "2000-04-09T02:57:00Z")
I can’t believe all you people who are listing SK’s crappy books have forgotten about _Gerald’s Game_. What an utter waste of time that garbage was. _The Horse Whisperer_ was a pile of manure. With flies. _Weaveworld_ by Clive Barker also sucked. * * * “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” - Anne Frank “Mom, he’s a neo Nazi! He’s a doctor also? Well…” - WallyM7 ---
**Author:** ![Brainiac4](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brainiac4/32/3534_2.png) [@Brainiac4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brainiac4)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-book-youve-read/15832/58 "2000-04-09T03:02:00Z")
“Dying of the Light” be George R. R. Martin. Some of his stuff is absolute genius (Tuf Voyaging is one of my all-time favorites) but DotL came highly recommended and was awful. I hated every one of the characters for the first 150 pages, and then, just when I realized there was one I could like, he died a pointless and stupid death. I kept going back to my pal Victor (who had recommended it to me) and saying “are you sure this book is good? Did you maybe mean a different book?” I finished it, but I’d rather stick alcohol-soaked bamboo splinters under my fingernails and light them than read it again. And yes, the Thomas Covenant books were awful as well. ---
**Author:** ![TaleraRis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@TaleraRis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TaleraRis)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-book-youve-read/15832/59 "2000-04-09T03:12:00Z")
Pride and Prejudice is my favorite Austen book and I love anything Dickens, so I don’t agree there. But I hate, hate, HATE Madame Bovary. That was the stupidest bit of drivel I have ever been forced to read and I was more than glad when Emma finally kicked it at the end. Someone needs to start a topic on movies you hate. My choice - American Beauty As someone mentioned before about a novel, the characters just weren’t fleshed out at all. I hate that in any story. * * * I rode Omni in Springfield, IL ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-book-youve-read/15832/60 "2000-04-09T03:57:00Z")
Steve-o: I would argue that the flatness of the charecters and their relationships in _Neuromancer_ are quite deliberate. They are flat because such a screwed up world has made depth something avalible only to the very lucky or the very wealthy. The breakdown of the social order has robbed everyone of the ability to form functional relationships. This is why the books are tragic. The worst book I have read in recent memory was called _Riptide_. It was written by the same two guys who wrote _The Relic_, possibly the worst movie ever even concieved. I usually quit books that are even half as bad as this one, but it had a certain grotesque pull. The same ugly part of myself that wants to stare at a freak wanted to finnish this book. It scope of the of implausibilities, the gratuitous gory deaths, and the clumsy writting was honestly awe-inspiring. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-book-youve-read/15832.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-book-youve-read/15832.md?page=4)