# Worst bumper stickers **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 28, 2000, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-bumper-stickers/31055 "2000-08-28T16:36:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2000, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-bumper-stickers/31055/1 "2000-08-28T16:36:25Z")
There are a lot of horrible bumper stickers out there that make me just want to vomit. Here are a few : **Say No to Drugs. Say YES to Jesus**. (I guess Karl Marx was right. It really _is_ the opium of the masses.) **LT for Heisman** (Could someone please explain this to me? Are they referring to the same LT who played his college ball some 20 years ago?) **Hugs not Drugs** (“Damn it! Billy’s bag on the smack again! This hug therapy simply isn’t as effective as the sticker on the rusted-out Pinto made it seem!”) **The Big Bang Theory : God said it and BANG, it happened!** (I think this one speaks for itself.) ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2000, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-bumper-stickers/31055/2 "2000-08-28T16:47:28Z")
Yeah, I gotta go with anything that’s anti-abortion. If you’re opposed to it, fine; I’d much rather you kept your opinion to yourself than try some nasty-ass bleeding-heart moralistic approach to get me to change mine. Evangelical bumper stickers get my goat as well. Around here we have a lot of those in Spanish; one that sticks out particularly in my memory was along the lines of “There is no evolution, only creation”. :mad: I used to hate those “One Day at a Time” ones as well because I thought they were some evangelical Christian thing. Now I know better. ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2000, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-bumper-stickers/31055/3 "2000-08-28T17:06:57Z")
> [@](#): > > Billy’s bag on the smack Should have read “ **back** on the smack.” Others : **My child is a great kid at X Elementary School.** (I guess these are given out to the kids who didn’t make the honor roll. Kind of sad, really.) **My President is Charlton Heston.** (Rarely seen on any vehicle that’s not a pick-up truck.) **Pray the Rosary to end Abortion.** (They must be churning out millions of these damn stickers.) ---
**Author:** ![Gomez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d78d45/32.png) [@Gomez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gomez)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2000, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-bumper-stickers/31055/4 "2000-08-28T19:08:23Z")
The stupidest bumper sticker I’ve see is the one which says **My other car is a porsche** This sticker is usually taped on to the back of some tin shit piece of crap so it begs the questions that if your other car really is a porsche, what the hell are you doing driving that piece of junk? And if you don’t really have a porsche and that’s some sort of lame attempt at humour, what does that say about you?!? I mean, people really _should_ have some consideration, I have to drive behind them you know. ---
**Author:** ![writefetus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9de053/32.png) [@writefetus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/writefetus)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2000, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-bumper-stickers/31055/5 "2000-08-28T19:19:44Z")
…a woman in the building I work in has a bumper sticker illustrated with a luminous (firery-?) cross that reads TRUTH!- not tolerance… profoundly creepy. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2000, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-bumper-stickers/31055/6 "2000-08-28T19:29:56Z")
I see a beat up old station wagon around here that has the old _Let me tell you about my grandchildren_ bumper sticker. Why? Are you advertising the fact that you are old enough to have grandchildren? What is the point of this moronic sticker. ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2000, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-bumper-stickers/31055/7 "2000-08-28T19:35:02Z")
This is off-topic, since I thought it was actually pretty clever, but I almost drove off the road laughing when I saw **Lorena Bobbitt for White House Intern**. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2000, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-bumper-stickers/31055/8 "2000-08-28T20:12:45Z")
My all time favourite… **Got Jesus?** My response - Yeah, in my trunk, tied up and dead! Knock off the fucking praying and drive that piece of shit will you!.. ---
**Author:** ![horowitz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@horowitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/horowitz)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2000, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-bumper-stickers/31055/9 "2000-08-28T21:17:16Z")
These are always on slow cars in front of me when I am in a hurry. **Easy Does It** **One Day at a Time** How come people that don’t have to work want everyone else to slow down? I am making the assuption here that someone on the fast track would not have these bumper stickers. ---
**Author:** ![Kate\_Hallberg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@Kate\_Hallberg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kate_Hallberg)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2000, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-bumper-stickers/31055/10 "2000-08-28T21:23:47Z")
Then there’s the fish eating the Darwin fish. and any anti-choice sticker. ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2000, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-bumper-stickers/31055/11 "2000-08-28T21:40:27Z")
**If You Can Read This, Your Mother Was Pro-Life** She isn’t anything of the sort, at least not the way they mean. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-bumper-stickers/31055/12 "2000-08-29T16:19:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by horowitz \* > \*\ ***Easy Does It** > > **One Day at a Time** > > How come people that don’t have to work want everyone else to slow down?\*\* Actually, **horowitz** , those are Alcoholics Anonymous bumper stickers. Cut 'em some slack. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-bumper-stickers/31055/13 "2000-08-29T16:27:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by neutron star \* > > **Say No to Drugs. Say YES to Jesus**. (I guess Karl Marx was right. It really _is_ the opium of the masses.) \*\* Similar to this: I saw in a parking lot, **Say NO to drugs! Say YES to BOWLING!!** What the fuck?!?!? I have nothing againts bowling, and there’s a ggod chance that the car just had it for the camp value, but who in the bloody hell made this thing? Picture 3 or 4 greasy, strung out dudes, in a shitball apartment “Yo, man I got this smack from my friend stewie. he says its the best shit he’s had in months. Pass that needle.” “Wait, man, I know you haven’t had a shot in a day and a half, and you’re getting sick…But lets go bowl a few frames instead of booting.” “That’s a fantastic idea!! I _LOVE_ bowling! No more H for me, who needs this stuff?” ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-bumper-stickers/31055/14 "2000-08-29T16:31:06Z")
:sigh: please excuse the typos. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-bumper-stickers/31055/15 "2000-08-29T16:35:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Olentzero \* > Actually, **horowitz** , those are Alcoholics Anonymous bumper stickers. Cut 'em some slack. And leave them plenty of room… There was once a brief sticker battle in my home town. First there were the standard “My child is an honor student blah blah blah…” Then came the “My kid beat up your honor student.” These proliferated for a while. Finally, I spotted one that said “My honor student is the district weightlifting champ.” That seemed to end _that_ particular bout of silliness… ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-bumper-stickers/31055/16 "2000-08-29T16:41:56Z")
“I (heart) my family” Barf-o-rama. ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-bumper-stickers/31055/17 "2000-08-29T17:09:57Z")
Heh. Reminds me of one I saw last week : I (heart) my husband. Lucky guy. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-bumper-stickers/31055/18 "2000-08-29T17:14:42Z")
I actually saw this one, once. I (spade) my cat. it was for the local animal rescue clinic, but still… ---
**Author:** ![Ura-Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/51bf81/32.png) [@Ura-Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ura-Maru)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-bumper-stickers/31055/19 "2000-08-29T18:46:34Z")
I don’t know if they still do, but they used to make little spade stickers that you could put over the [heart] stickers. So, Mrs. Loving Hearts gets to expain to hubby what the “I [spade] my husband” sticker was doing on her car. 🙂 That’ll teach them to have a happy, fulfilling relationship. They also made little [screw] stickers, who’s uses are obvious. I wonder if they made a [club] version for the animal rescue center ones . . . A friend of mine got a bunch of “my other vehicle is an X-Wing” stickers custom made. But he’s a bit wierd. I love it when political stickers get dated. I saw “Vote No on Question 2. It goes too far.” bumper stickers around for at least ten years after whatever it was that it was protesting was done. (No, I don’t know. I was 8) I wondered what other Question #2s were condemed just because they shared a number . . . – “I’m losing track of the crappy vehicles, here.” ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-bumper-stickers/31055/20 "2000-08-29T18:52:46Z")
but, I think I have to go with "Yea, you can have my gun, \* bullets first! \* I thought it was interesting that although he had many bumper stickers up , he never put up a single one that my son gave him (“my child was student of the week”, “my child was on the honor roll” “my child’s band is bandtastic”) He also had one in his basement in his “workshop” (according to my son), that said “I got a bow for my wife, good trade, huh?” Good thing he hadn’t put it on his truck, I’d have felt compelled to correct it to read “fourth wife”… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-bumper-stickers/31055.md?page=2)