# Worst case of "manager speak" you've heard? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 13, 2014, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589 "2014-03-13T01:58:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tenacious\_j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tenacious\_j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tenacious_j)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/1 "2014-03-13T01:58:21Z")
When asked a question that he clearly didn’t understand, one of our managers writes back “I can’t seem to grasp the ask on this one.” Took me a minute for me to figure out what his “ask” was, as well. 😕 I work with real people who speak actual English, and I communicate like a real person, in actual English. Verbs are verbs and need to stay that way. If I ever start talking like that, I hope they take me out back and shoot me. I know there are worse examples than this, right? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/2 "2014-03-13T02:59:23Z")
I don’t know if this is what you’re looking for, but my last director started every third sentence with “At the end of the day…” At the end of most days I wanted to shoot my brains out. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/3 "2014-03-13T04:24:34Z")
Is “ask” as a noun the hot new thing? I can’t guarantee that this isn’t confirmation bias, but I swear that I heard it used that way\* for the first time no more than a few months ago, and now this is like the fourth different context that I’ve heard it used as a noun. I generally don’t mind nouning verbs, but this one is just horrific. - Actually, the first usage was slightly different: the sentence was “I have an ask of you”, which I guess meant something like “favor”. Close enough. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/4 "2014-03-13T04:46:18Z")
> [@tenacious\_j](#): > > …grasp the ask… Band name! ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/5 "2014-03-13T05:49:26Z")
Sounds like he was trying to grope his secretary and made a spelling mistake. The first time I heard the phrase, “You’re good people” was from a manager trying to sweet talk me into working a weekend. It took a while for my brain to process it. “Who are my good people and why doesn’t he finish the sentence?..Oh, he means _I’m_ good people…but I’m only one person…” ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/6 "2014-03-13T05:57:28Z")
> [@tenacious\_j](#): > > Verbs are verbs and need to stay that way. Ha! Good luck with that one. ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/7 "2014-03-13T07:27:11Z")
> [@Dr.Strangelove](#): > > Is “ask” as a noun the hot new thing? I can’t guarantee that this isn’t confirmation bias, but I swear that I heard it used that way\* for the first time no more than a few months ago, and now this is like the fourth different context that I’ve heard it used as a noun. > > I generally don’t mind nouning verbs, but this one is just horrific. > > - Actually, the first usage was slightly different: the sentence was “I have an ask of you”, which I guess meant something like “favor”. Close enough. “Ask” as a noun has been used in the UK for years, most commonly by footballers/coaches etc. It’s used to indicate a difficult task. e.g “We need to beat Arsenal by 28 goals to go to the top of the table on goal difference… it’s a big ask.” ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/8 "2014-03-13T07:55:40Z")
I’ve never heard “ask” [mis]used that way and I pray I never do. ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/9 "2014-03-13T10:09:54Z")
“In the absence of my presence…” “Use the reconcile to derive your new impairment and valuation.” “We have to VAR every new trading position.” ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/10 "2014-03-13T10:38:47Z")
> [@Dr.Strangelove](#): > > Is “ask” as a noun the hot new thing? I can’t guarantee that this isn’t confirmation bias, but I swear that I heard it used that way\* for the first time no more than a few months ago, and now this is like the fourth different context that I’ve heard it used as a noun. Same here. “What’s the ask on the spend?” Actually I don’t mind “the ask” so much, it’s a polite way of saying “I’ve listened to you ramble for 10 minutes and I can’t find an actionable request here, WTF specifically are you asking me to do?” ---
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/11 "2014-03-13T10:51:38Z")
> [@Dr.Strangelove](#): > > Is “ask” as a noun the hot new thing? I can’t guarantee that this isn’t confirmation bias, but I swear that I heard it used that way\* for the first time no more than a few months ago, and now this is like the fourth different context that I’ve heard it used as a noun. > > I generally don’t mind nouning verbs, but this one is just horrific. > > - Actually, the first usage was slightly different: the sentence was “I have an ask of you”, which I guess meant something like “favor”. Close enough. I hear it all the time and it’s not particularly strange. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/12 "2014-03-13T11:00:47Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > I can’t find an actionable request here. “Actionable”? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/13 "2014-03-13T11:37:20Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > “Actionable”? :dubious: An actionable request is something specific you’re asking the manager to do for you. It’s the difference between bitching to your manager about your budget being cut and saying that you need your manager to find you 10% more to cover anticipated marketing expenses. It’s dopey phrasing but a good concept. Sometimes your folks need to vent but at a certain point you want to ask “ok, what do you need me to do”. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/14 "2014-03-13T11:37:53Z")
Actionable is one of the important learnings from this thread. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/15 "2014-03-13T12:22:19Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > “Actionable”? :dubious: It means some information that can be acted upon. And unfortunately it’s a necessary word, because people will ramble for paragraphs without clearly stating what they’re asking you to do, or even give you a hint what you’re supposed to respond to. So in that context, an obnoxious phrase like “actionable ask” starts to seem like a concise and merciful way to express “WTF does this blathering idiot want from me?” ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/16 "2014-03-13T12:55:50Z")
Well, this is hardly huge, or even new, but please use the noun “invitation” and not the verb “invite.” No, I didn’t get your “invite.” ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/17 "2014-03-13T13:13:20Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Well, this is hardly huge, or even new, but please use the noun “invitation” and not the verb “invite.” > > No, I didn’t get your “invite.” Too late. > [@OED](#): > > 1. The act of inviting; an invitation. > > 1659 H. L’Estrange Alliance Divine Offices 326 Bishop Cranmer…gives him an earnest invite to England. > 1778 F. Burney Let. Sept. in Early Jrnls. & Lett. (1994) III. 159 Every body Bowed, & accepted the invite but me…for I have no Notion of snapping at invites from the Great. > 1818 Lady Morgan Passages from Autobiogr. (1859) 39 We have refused two invites for to-day. > 1818 Lady Morgan Passages from Autobiogr. (1859) 292 For Monday we have had three dinner invites. > 1825 T. Hook Sayings & Doings 2nd Ser. I. 279 Adepts in every little meanness or contrivance likely to bring about an invitation (or, as they call it with equal good taste, an ‘invite’). ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/18 "2014-03-13T13:23:28Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Too late. Wow. ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/19 "2014-03-13T13:49:05Z")
This is not the worst I’ve heard, but it comes to mind because it got under my skin somewhat recently. Any time I hear the words “my people”, I know I’m hearing some Grade-A management bullshit. Such as in, " … all of my people use the Agile methodology." Whenever I hear it, I either think, “I AM NOT your people!” or I think, “Let my people GO!”. ---
**Author:** ![Cyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Cyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyros)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/20 "2014-03-13T13:52:48Z")
> [@tenacious\_j](#): > > Verbs are verbs and need to stay that way. But can we verb nouns? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589.md?page=2)