# Worst case of "manager speak" you've heard? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 13, 2014, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589 "2014-03-13T01:58:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/281 "2014-03-21T16:49:15Z")
> [@Bone](#): > > Using the phrase “what’s the ask” or even using ‘ask’ in this fashion is not directional. It occurs between many different levels. As a manager, you can say to a member of your team “what are you asking me to do?” or “what is the ask?”. A person can also direct the same question to their manager. There is no value judgement or peacocking going on, necessarily. Note the difference between “what is the ask?” and “what do you ask of me?” Questions don’t merely manifest from the ether. _Someone_ has to ask _something_. The project of most corporate speak is to use obfuscation to remove that person entirely in order to make the social relations necessary for office work seem less degrading. To see this for yourself, try replacing “what is the ask” with “what do you ask of me” for a day and see how people respond. They probably think it’s blunt or aggressive. Office speak aims to depersonalize. > [@](#): > > The reason why you need to check your availability is because often you are scheduled for meetings on your calendar without your knowledge. Each day, I start by looking what’s on my calendar. Most of the events I didn’t put there. When someone asks a question that can’t be quickly resolved through IM, I tell them to find time on my calendar and schedule a meeting. Or I tell them if they want to discuss something further, my calendar is current. So if someone asks me if I have time, my response is often, “I don’t know, check my calendar.” That’s pretty much the same thing as saying “let me check my availability.” Next time, try “let me see if I have time to see you” or anything else that restores a little bit of agency back into speech. How do you think people would respond? ---
**Author:** ![Melchior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Melchior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melchior)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/282 "2014-03-21T16:49:47Z")
> [@Maeglin](#): > > This only true so long as everyone else believes it. It’s only a faux pas to wear white after Labor Day so long as everyone else thinks this rule binds. Collective self-reinforcement is the source of social authority. If you talk like an Edwardian dandy in a business setting, then you will be justifiably mocked both to your face and behind your back. Just like you said in the other thread, you have to learn how to talk to authority. If your betters say “incentivize,” then that’s what you say, too. > > You may think it’s a pity that one’s betters these days don’t read the classics. Believe me, I do, too. But if you have ambitions to be anything other than a professional crank, you will suck it up, just like a semiliterate English laborer in 1915, who, _ignarus consuetudinis nostrae_, needed to learn the difference between “who” and “whom” to talk to power. I have no doubt this was a subject about which he didn’t give a shit. Americans are so dashingly common. LOL ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/283 "2014-03-21T16:50:27Z")
> [@Melchior](#): > > ‘Traditionally’. Well, the world changes. Like language. And the British Upper Class who has entered business can - in my experience (which actually involves a few guys - but this one was recent - the others were twenty five years ago) business speak with the best of them. (And some of them might have been mere Sirs and not Lords - none of them used titles at work). ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/284 "2014-03-21T16:52:03Z")
I think the idea here is “code switching”. It’s a term that means using different types of language in different environments. I’ll switch to tossing in Yiddish terms at home, use the language of higher Ed at work and corporate speak when talking to industry colleagues. ---
**Author:** ![Melchior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Melchior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melchior)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/285 "2014-03-21T16:52:09Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > Well, the world changes. Like language. And the British Upper Class who has entered business can - in my experience (which actually involves a few guys - but this one was recent - the others were twenty five years ago) business speak with the best of them. > > (And some of them might have been mere Sirs and not Lords - none of them used titles at work). ‘can…business speak’? I say, was that intentional? ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/286 "2014-03-21T16:56:31Z")
> [@Melchior](#): > > Americans are so dashingly common. LOL **Maeglin** is a recovering Anglophile. He understands. Though, to be honest, nobody does corporate speak like the English. My counterparts in London could out-weasel anyone. It was sad to see charming English diffidence shackled to such linguistic mediocrity. In some ways my native American coarseness has slowed the corrosion of our thought and speech. We didn’t have so far to fall. ---
**Author:** ![Melchior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Melchior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melchior)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/287 "2014-03-21T17:00:18Z")
> [@Maeglin](#): > > **Maeglin** is a recovering Anglophile. He understands. > > Though, to be honest, nobody does corporate speak like the English. My counterparts in London could out-weasel anyone. It was sad to see charming English diffidence shackled to such linguistic mediocrity. In some ways my native American coarseness has slowed the corrosion of our thought and speech. We didn’t have so far to fall. _Plain Words_, anyone? [http://www.amazon.com/PLAIN-WORDS-SIR-ERNEST-GOWERS/dp/B00102RWQ2/ref=sr\_1\_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1395421181&sr=8-8&keywords=Plain+Words](http://www.amazon.com/PLAIN-WORDS-SIR-ERNEST-GOWERS/dp/B00102RWQ2/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1395421181&sr=8-8&keywords=Plain+Words) ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/288 "2014-03-21T17:05:33Z")
> [@Melchior](#): > > _Plain Words_, anyone? > > [http://www.amazon.com/PLAIN-WORDS-SIR-ERNEST-GOWERS/dp/B00102RWQ2/ref=sr\_1\_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1395421181&sr=8-8&keywords=Plain+Words](http://www.amazon.com/PLAIN-WORDS-SIR-ERNEST-GOWERS/dp/B00102RWQ2/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1395421181&sr=8-8&keywords=Plain+Words) There is supposed to be a new edition coming out this year. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/289 "2014-03-21T18:40:34Z")
There is something about British diffidence combined with the depersonalized nature of business speak that will drive someone used to plain spoken English crazy. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/290 "2014-03-21T19:14:33Z")
The people that keep saying that language is fluid bring up a good point, which is why I’ve decided to embrace slang in an effort to communicate more effectively. From this point forward, I will walk around saying stuff like “empower n00bs to incentivize swag for maximum lulz”, and “Yo shorty, let’s have a hard stop on the Jenkins account workflow. YOLO” ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/291 "2014-03-21T19:54:55Z")
If you say it in the office, don’t be surprised when the sociolinguistic group behavior causes the apes to turn on you. You don’t chat on WoW channels in business speak, or use MMO chat language in many business meetings. You don’t talk legalese at a wedding reception - but you also don’t write contracts in a conversational style (although legal decisions written by judges with a sense of humor can be really funny), my fifteen year old doesn’t swear around his grandmother and usually remembers to use words like please and thank you, but his language around his friends is far more casual and polite. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/292 "2014-03-24T16:39:12Z")
> [@Charlie\_Wayne](#): > > I have heard the term, “muff diver”. > > I have always believed this had something to do with cunnilingus but I’ve never been quite sure. You might be on to something. I feel this is a thing that the internet might be able to help you out with. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/293 "2014-03-24T21:04:51Z")
I once worked at a place where a bit of poor judgment by an employee elicited a handwritten sign on the bulletin board ending with “Don’t every every every do this again!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589.md?page=14)