# Worst case of "manager speak" you've heard? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 13, 2014, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589 "2014-03-13T01:58:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/21 "2014-03-13T14:53:15Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Too late. It must be a law in these kinds of threads that some obnoxious kind of management-speak usage will turn out to have hundreds of years of precedent. It bites me in the ass all the time. Still, if everybody started wearing data-display monocles, it’s still a dumb fad even though monocles are hundreds of years old. Maybe even dumber, for exactly that reason. ---
**Author:** ![scudsucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scudsucker/32/14101_2.png) [@scudsucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scudsucker)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/22 "2014-03-13T15:04:46Z")
> [@](#): > > What are the learnings from this we can take to client? First and foremost, use “the client” please. “The client” is how you refer to your client. Secondly, we have a very good work for things we have learnt. They are called “lessons.” > [@](#): > > What are the lessons from this that we can take to the client? Much better. ---
**Author:** ![Kelevra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/97f17d/32.png) [@Kelevra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kelevra)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/23 "2014-03-13T15:14:36Z")
I lost about 10 minutes of my life when a previous boss used “operationalization” in a sentence. For 10 minutes I went blank as I tried to break it down enough to figure out what he was saying. It might have been a seizure. I still don’t know what he meant. My current boss says “schedule pressure” instead of “I’m not going to make that deadline. Here’s when you can have your product.” Because it’s too negative to say you’re going to miss a deadline (even though that’s what is happening). ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/24 "2014-03-13T15:33:27Z")
We need to kickoff a action item to provide value-added deliverables providing a low total cost of ownership while maximizing billable hours and providing optimal stakeholder satisfaction while following a Six Sigma methodology according to the defined project plan. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/25 "2014-03-13T15:34:44Z")
> [@Tully\_Mars](#): > > …Any time I hear the words “my people”,… > Whenever I hear it, I either think, “I AM NOT your people!”… And they are not your god. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/26 "2014-03-13T15:37:34Z")
> [@robert\_columbia](#): > > We need to kickoff a action item to provide value-added deliverables providing a low total cost of ownership while maximizing billable hours and providing optimal stakeholder satisfaction while following a Six Sigma methodology according to the defined project plan. I didn’t know you were on my 9:00 conference call earlier! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![yipman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/74df32/32.png) [@yipman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yipman)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/27 "2014-03-13T15:59:34Z")
not really manager speak, but i hate it when tv pundits during the olympics say “to medal” as in to finish in the top three. i also recently had a sales manager ask me what my estimated ETA was… it made me wonder what the “e” stood for… ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/28 "2014-03-13T16:14:19Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > Still, if everybody started wearing data-display monocles, it’s still a dumb fad even though monocles are hundreds of years old. Maybe even dumber, for exactly that reason. Ney York Times MARCH 5, 2014 [One Part Mr. Peanut, One Part Hipster Chic The Monocle Returns as a Fashion Accessory](http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/06/fashion/the-monocle-returns-as-a-fashion-accessory.html?_r=0) ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/29 "2014-03-13T16:15:10Z")
> [@yipman](#): > > not really manager speak, but i hate it when tv pundits during the olympics say “to medal” as in to finish in the top three. > i also recently had a sales manager ask me what my estimated ETA was… it made me wonder what the “e” stood for… I dunno, I quite liked that. It shows how English is inventive and flexible. I guess the German approach would have been to mash the whole sentence into a new compound word like “Indentopdreifertigened”, but instead someone has simply and elegantly encapsulated the whole meaning in a single word. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/30 "2014-03-13T16:42:45Z")
I want to punch people who use “impact” when they’re not talking about a meteor strike. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/31 "2014-03-13T16:55:15Z")
> [@robert\_columbia](#): > > We need to kickoff a action item to provide value-added deliverables providing a low total cost of ownership while maximizing billable hours and providing optimal stakeholder satisfaction while following a Six Sigma methodology according to the defined project plan. Sweet zombie Jeebus, I can’t believe I’m able to parse that. Nitpick: “… kickoff AN action item” please. ETA: **Antigen** , you can also impact those folks. ---
**Author:** ![tenacious\_j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tenacious\_j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tenacious_j)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/32 "2014-03-13T17:49:01Z")
> [@robert\_columbia](#): > > We need to kickoff a action item to provide value-added deliverables providing a low total cost of ownership while maximizing billable hours and providing optimal stakeholder satisfaction while following a Six Sigma methodology according to the defined project plan. THAT’S IT! If only you’d thrown in a few acronyms you could have been the guy I talked to yesterday (and hopefully not again)! While we are at it, this one isn’t business related, but since when is “over top” ok? as in put the chicken on a plate and pour the gravy over top? I’m hearing it everywhere in the last few months. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/33 "2014-03-13T18:21:29Z")
> [@Esox\_Lucius](#): > > The first time I heard the phrase, “You’re good people” was from a manager trying to sweet talk me into working a weekend. It took a while for my brain to process it. “Who are my good people and why doesn’t he finish the sentence?..Oh, he means _I’m_ good people…but I’m only one person…” That is actually an old phrase that is still in use in some Southern or rural areas. I think it stuck around because it doesn’t have a short, exact translation into other phases. It is supposed to be complimentary. It roughly means that your family or the people you most closely associate with have good values and integrity - you come from good stock and display those traits yourself. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/34 "2014-03-13T18:44:23Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > Ney York Times > MARCH 5, 2014 > [One Part Mr. Peanut, One Part Hipster Chic > The Monocle Returns as a Fashion Accessory](http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/06/fashion/the-monocle-returns-as-a-fashion-accessory.html?_r=0) I read that article, and frankly I’m excited. Now they’ll have one eye I can punch them in without cutting my knuckles on broken glass. ---
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/35 "2014-03-13T18:48:59Z")
> [@the\_diego](#): > > “In the absence of my presence…” > “Use the reconcile to derive your new impairment and valuation.” > “We have to VAR every new trading position.” Vector auto regression? ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/36 "2014-03-13T18:50:18Z")
I was once told “You’re a good interface.” I’m pretty sure that’s the day I died inside. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/37 "2014-03-13T18:53:37Z")
I’m searching for a job, and my eyes often glaze over at the rampant manager speak in the job descriptions. If I never see the word “leverage” used as a verb again, it’ll be too soon. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/38 "2014-03-13T19:14:10Z")
> [@Dr.Strangelove](#): > > Is “ask” as a noun the hot new thing? I can’t guarantee that this isn’t confirmation bias, but I swear that I heard it used that way\* for the first time no more than a few months ago, and now this is like the fourth different context that I’ve heard it used as a noun. [“Ask”](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ask_price) is used all the time on the stock market. “Bid” and “ask” refer respectively to the prices a buyer and seller are offering for a given stock transaction. Using it in other contexts starts to sound a bit like [Newspeak:](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newspeak#Vocabulary) > [@Wikipedia](#): > > In Orwell’s novel, Newspeak attempts to influence thought by consolidating (decreasing) the expressiveness of the English language. In keeping with these principles, the following words serve as both nouns and verbs… ---
**Author:** ![leahcim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b4bc9f/32.png) [@leahcim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leahcim)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/39 "2014-03-13T19:56:08Z")
> [@Ace309](#): > > Vector auto regression? “Value At Risk”. Whenever I’m leading a meeting (which is almost never) I like to close with “and let’s go actualize the fuck out of some synergy”. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589/40 "2014-03-13T19:58:28Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > I don’t know if this is what you’re looking for, but my last director started every third sentence with “At the end of the day…” > > At the end of most days I wanted to shoot my brains out. Did he like to refer to business opportunities as “low hanging fruit,” too? 'Cause if he did, I’ll bet we’ve worked together. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-case-of-manager-speak-youve-heard/683589.md?page=3)