Worst Chain Restaurant

[tomcar]

@Evil_Captor

I’m going to step up for Red Lobster. Their shrimp is rubbery protein bits with no taste, sure. But the ROCK lobster (not the Maine Lobster) can be really good if you order it in season (which you can usually tell because they have specials on the rock lobster at such times. It is DELICIOUS, very flavorsome.

Crab can also be good when it’s in season. It’s more of a crap shoot, you can come across flavorless crab at any time, but a lot of the time, it’s just what crab should be.

In fact, for many restaurants, ordering the right thing is the key to enjoying it.

My nominee for worst chain restaurant is Buffalo’s Wild Wings. It’s more of a bar and grill chain, and my wife and I play bar trivia at the local every week. We have tried about everything on the menu, and the very best dishes are mediocre, the worst dishes are inedible. We’ve settled on buffalo wings for me, and a veggie boat (slices of carrot and celery, the carrots often having that whitish texture that come from being way too dry) and buffalo wings for me. (I go with the wings not because they are exceptional but because they are at least recognizable pieces of chicken, all of their other chicken dishes are unknown chicken bits bonded with pink slime and molded into chicken-ish shapes.)

If we were drinkers, we would just order drinks, which many customers do, but we are not drinkers, so we pick at the pathetic bits of food they bring. That’s how bad Buffalo’s is.

They play Steelers games locally so I go there, plus the hot sauce is excellent. The current veggie burger they use is like the sole of a shoe. The beer is over priced too.

[Boyo_Jim]

@carnut

… That was also about the last time I got good service there. Now, I only go because there is one close to my mother’s home. She can’t travel far and insists on being the driver when we go out. It’s safer to pick the place that is only two blocks away.

I see your dilemma. Death by food poisoning or a flaming car wreck is a tough choice.

[bobot]

@myskepticsight

.... And whether or not you knew what you were ordering, you were ordering a specific style of pizza that a lot of people not from the area tend not to like ...    

I sure wish it would have said so on the menu.

Blechhhh.

[DummyGladHands]

Olive Garden, all you can eat soup and salad. Except if you order it, you never ever see your server after the first dishes are put on your table.

Subway-all that “meat” is turkey. Maybe not the tuna, but I’m not sure.

Boston Market-do they still have that creamed spinach? Used to go just for that, ate it by the tubful.

Bob Evans-how do you fuck up tea and toast? They will

Panda-I go just for the veggies, hold the broccoli. I really like them, and will pay the 2 entre price for just them, no noodles or rice, thanks

TGIF-used to be great in the 70’s. Or maybe my tastes have improved.

The one thing I do like about Denny’s, at least when I’m on a road trip, you pretty much know what you’re getting. It’s not good food, but predictable.

Golden Corral-hell, there’s enough choices there, just pick the least offensive. Good yeast rolls. Great people watching.

[Purd_Werfect]

Denny’s always seemed to me to be good for one thing - a basic cooked breakfast - eggs, hash browns, and pig of some sort. Nothing remarkable, but I’ve never had them screw it up in the nine or ten times I’ve eaten there over the years.

Subway is overpowered by the bread smell and everything has a sameness of taste.

Applebees should be okay, having all the requisite components - salt, breading, frying, etc. Everything always just tasted bland as hell the few times I’ve been there.

Panda Express: One opened near me recently, and I checked it out. Small portions and the food just tasted off. As someone mentioned previously, the fried rice is not done well, and a fast food Chinese joint should be able to get that much right. Small portions are fine with most foods, but one of the joys of take out Chinese is leftovers. I spent 18 bucks at a nearby local greasy chopstick, and I got four meals out of it, and it was tasty to boot.

Chili’s - I like Chili’s. I’ve had some very good meals there. The babyback ribs may not be authentic, but they’re very tasty. I like their salads, though it sure isn’t health food. I wish they hadn’t removed the peppercorn burger from their menu. The accompanying fries were only ever so-so, but the burger itself was delicious. As far as chains, they’re a cut above.

I’ve never eaten at Red Lobster, but the all you can eat shrimp commercials always entice me.

Wendys - I recently was stuck at a conference near an airport without many food options, and I got a burger there both evenings. It was great! I don’t know what they used to taste like, but these were really outstanding - fresh, buttered buns, good crisp lettuce and reasonable tomato (tomatoes are never going to be that good anymore except for naturally grown heirlooms and home grown, and you aren’t going to see those in any chain restaurant. They exist only for moisture now.) Anyway, I wish I had a Wendys near me and am glad that I don’t, as I’d abuse it.

McDonalds - Their burgers taste exactly alike everywhere, and I like that taste occasionally.

Burger King - I lurve that flame-broiled goodness. Whopper with cheese, please.

Chipotle - bland, but you can get a reasonably healthy meal there if you watch what you’re ordering.

Little Caesars - Stoner chow. Cheap as hell and still not worth it.

[Yorikke]

@obfusciatrist

But I do kind of hate them because I always feel like an ass because friends will want to go there and they’re really the only place I have to completely veto since I simply can’t eat there. And there is no such thing as a good food that has American cheese on it and if my friends can’t recognize that I doubt their ability to identify good food.

You must be a riot at parties.