# Worst Christmas gift of all time **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 16, 2004, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-gift-of-all-time/280067 "2004-12-16T01:17:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-gift-of-all-time/280067/101 "2004-12-19T04:34:10Z")
> [@StarvingButStrong](#): > > OOoooh! I got a good one! > > Three years ago my SIL gave me a bread machine. You know, the ones you dump flour and yeast and all into, push a button, and three hours later you have a loaf of bread? The box looked a bit ‘aged’ – not tattered, just some dings and minor scratches – but it was ‘sealed shut’ with strips of that wide clear tape. Oh, and I didn’t get just the machine – she included three books of bread machine recipes. > So why is this present on a ‘bad present’ list? Well, because I’d had a bread machine in the past. For a while I used it often, but then it just sat for years and years without getting used, so I’d finally gotten my act together and donated it to the church garage sale. Along with three books of recipes… > > Yep. Not only did SIL give me a garage sale discard, but something I myself had discarded! > > As she’d have known if she’d ever bothered to look at the books: they were FULL of my handwritten modifications to the recipes AND HAD ‘FROM THE LIBRARY OF STARVINGBUTSTRONG’ BOOK PLATES IN THE FRONT OF EACH. I think that’s the ultimate in re-gifting. What did your SIL say when you told her she’d bought you a gift that you had gotten rid of? ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-gift-of-all-time/280067/102 "2004-12-19T05:04:33Z")
Boy, there’s a lot of stories about gifts from in-laws and great aunts in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-gift-of-all-time/280067/103 "2004-12-19T05:14:51Z")
I once got brown leather strap, about the width and thickness of a dog collar, with a snap closure, meant to be worn as a bracelet, with “Property of \” on it for Christmas. We’d been serious for over a year when he pulled that stunt. I’d have been happier with a plain Hershey’s bar. ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-gift-of-all-time/280067/104 "2004-12-19T06:07:37Z")
This wasn’t a Christmas gift, but I have to mention it 'cause it’s so funny, (because I wasn’t the recipient). When it was getting close to my sister’s wedding day, my Dad still hadn’t gotten her anything. He was going to give them a check, but he wanted to also give a wrapped gift. I offered to help him pick out something. But, he said he had something “special” in mind. He said it was something she could use on her honeymoon. :eek: I begged him to tell me what it was. He finaly agreed when I told him she may already have one, and promised not to tell. He was right, it was something she could use on the honeymoon! They were going to hot and sunny Bermuda. Imagine my sister’s surprise when she unwrapped the… _pioneer style, calico sunbonnet!_😃 ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-gift-of-all-time/280067/105 "2004-12-19T22:15:31Z")
This is nowhere near **DarkPrince** ’s tale, but it is notable. One year my MIL gave Hubby and I matching sweatshirts. They promoted awareness of threatened animal species, with “ENDANGERED” in bright red 60 pt font. It is an important issue. But I don’t care how endangered an animal is, you just don’t give a fat person a sweatshirt with a big old elephant on the front (mine) or a whale (Hubby’s). Had we waddled down the street in these, any observer would’ve been forced to conclude that our consumption of said critters was directly responsible for their demise, and that we were likely wearing these garments as some sort of court-ordered punishment. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-gift-of-all-time/280067/106 "2004-12-19T23:27:07Z")
Last year, my inlaws gave my husband, their first-born son, a ball cap and a sleeve of 3 golf balls. My husband has played golf exactly once in his life, and he didn’t much like it. And he never wears ball caps. He still can’t figure out what they were thinking. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-gift-of-all-time/280067/107 "2004-12-20T17:25:22Z")
When I was about 10 I received from my grandmother a used, stained tank top from her hotel. Had the hotel logo on it and everything and wasn’t wrapped - just enclosed in a box a nice camera had came in. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-gift-of-all-time/280067/108 "2004-12-20T18:00:06Z")
So for you folks with the bizarre Grandma gifts - how did your parents respond? Didn’t they call Mom and ask WTF? Or are you describing that last Christmas before Grandma moved to Shady Pines? ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-gift-of-all-time/280067/109 "2004-12-20T18:32:30Z")
Nope…that’s about how much our grandmother seemed to care for us. As a matter of fact, that’s the only present I can remember getting me besides a little brass tree that was probably a re-gift. Then there was the time that she and some of my aunts broke into our house and took all of our Christmas presents (still wrapped) and toys after we had been evicted. Not to rescue them for us, but because they wanted them for themselves. I was real young and had a little pull-along doggy on wheels. It wagged its tail and barked when you pulled it across the ground. I loved that thing even though it had one broken wheel. I found it later in my 16-18? year old aunts bedroom and got excited, thinking I must’ve left it at grandma’s and now here it is! My teenage aunt got really vicious and insisted it was hers. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-gift-of-all-time/280067/110 "2004-12-20T18:39:00Z")
Great Og! **harmless** are you related to **DarkPrince**? I’m flabbergasted. How can there be so many mean, nasty people out there? How could people act that way? What is wrong with them? That’s just crazy. No wonder so many of you truly loathe Christmas. :: counts her blessings and vows to share them :: ---
**Author:** ![Vulpoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/48db29/32.png) [@Vulpoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vulpoid)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-gift-of-all-time/280067/111 "2004-12-20T18:58:17Z")
I believe the wax was meant as a lubricant to aid in insertion. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-gift-of-all-time/280067/112 "2004-12-20T19:01:28Z")
She was the kind that if you went against her, you may as well not exist and my mom didn’t put up her crap (go, mom!). She passed that venom on to the kids that stuck around her. I haven’t been through the whole thread yet (and :eek: **DarkPrince**!) so I don’t know if she already posted this, but my sister, **Susie Derkins** recieved from my aunt a lovely camera. That was broken. That someone had left in one of her hotel rooms. At least my younger brother and sister’s presents worked - pencils. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Soda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Soda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soda)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-gift-of-all-time/280067/113 "2004-12-20T19:53:04Z")
It wasn’t so much a crappy present, but a crappy Christmas altogether. I’d recently had a bad break up, I was depressed and feeling like no one really liked me. We celebrate with just the immediate family, my parents, brother, SIL and their two small kids. It’s not like we have to get a bazillion gifts and one is just overlooked in the process. I got to open _one_ present that day. One. It was a teacher’s calendar, for the school year. So, only half of the calendar was of any use to me. Whoopie. Last year was better, and this year will be too. I’ve wrapped presents for myself. ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-gift-of-all-time/280067/114 "2004-12-20T20:13:40Z")
I was so happy the year my mom got us a used World Book set. It was about 20 years older than me but I used it from the time I was 8 until I graduated high school. That set was one of 3 things that went to every foster home with me. For strange gifts - my father once sent me a pencil which said “Jesus Loves You”. IT was sharpened already, given in March (my b-day’s in January), and I’m agnostic. Another year, he gave me a children’s dictionary. It wasn’t a bad gift but at 13, I wasn’t really looking for a dictionary with colored pictures in it. I wanted an unabridged dictionary. Yet another year, he actually asked me what I wanted. I was very specific when I described the winter boots I wanted, my size and everything. I got size 5 (what I asked for) but they were men’s! I’m not a man. Never mind the fact that I was only 12 and my feet were (and still are) tiny. But, I still have the boots and I wear about 4 pair of really thick socks in them. My feet never get cold. Those are the only gifts I remember him getting me. ---
**Author:** ![Bomzaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e480ec/32.png) [@Bomzaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bomzaway)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-gift-of-all-time/280067/115 "2004-12-20T20:38:18Z")
I almost hate to post this, but… We had a large family holiday get-together one year, where we weren’t supposed to bring everyone presents, but some made it through the security checkpoint anyway. One of my cousins who at the time was about 19, living over someones garage, and always broke, was overcome by the Christmas spirit and ran out in the middle of the party to buy gifts. He came back and gave everyone one packet of travel tissue. It’s all he could afford really. A pretty sorry gift, but the intent was very nice. ---
**Author:** ![Terrorcotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@Terrorcotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrorcotta)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-gift-of-all-time/280067/116 "2004-12-20T21:00:47Z")
> [@racinchikki](#): > > A package of Size 11 women’s underwear (in other words, PARACHUTES). In an open package. One of the underpants had skidmarks. I was twelve. THANKS GRANDMA I dunno about you guys, but I find this unbeliveably sad! Maybe I was _lucky_ to get grapefruit-flavored breath mints one year. . . . ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-gift-of-all-time/280067/117 "2004-12-20T21:51:21Z")
In 1985, when I was 11 years old, I got a Sony Michael Jackson AM Walkman Radio from my grandparents. The thing is now so old and rare that I dare anybody to find it, google or ebay or otherwise. It was about the size of a brick. It had a “convenient” clip so I could clip it to my belt, it had a picture of Michael Jackson on it, and it didn’t even play tapes, it only received AM radio stations. My twin sister got a camera. I was PISSED. Of course nowadays that thing is probably a collector’s item worth major bucks, so it’s my own damn fault that I got rid of it as soon as I possibly could. It’s nowhere near as bad as some of these stories, but from my 11-year-old perspective, it was terrible. > [@fessie](#): > > One year my MIL gave Hubby and I matching sweatshirts. They promoted awareness of threatened animal species, with “ENDANGERED” in bright red 60 pt font. It is an important issue. But I don’t care how endangered an animal is, you just don’t give a fat person a sweatshirt with a big old elephant on the front (mine) or a whale (Hubby’s). Had we waddled down the street in these, any observer would’ve been forced to conclude that our consumption of said critters was directly responsible for their demise, and that we were likely wearing these garments as some sort of court-ordered punishment. This absolutely cracked me up. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-gift-of-all-time/280067/118 "2004-12-20T22:23:52Z")
Man, so many awful stories. I feel lucky to have gotten “normal” bad gifts like socks. Anyhow, here we go: Granddad once gave me a brick. Just a regular brick from an old building. One roomie of mine got a tube of toothpaste from his Grandma. I once asked my mom for a copy of Pratchetts “Hogfather.” A book, mind you. So she gets me a \*\*tee-shirt \*\* of a cartoon St. Bernard dressed as a gangster with the word, “Dogfather” across the top. Hey, pretty close? What is it about Aunts and MILs that makes them try to change you lady dopers through gifts? Here, young lady. Take this gift so that you can become a “PROPER” wife! That clothes hamper was one hateful gift. Look, not only am I not giving you something fun or desirable, but I’m using the occasion to give you a lecture on your poor cleaning habits! \*\*Harmless \*\* and **Dark Prince** , I feel so bad for you guys. **Harmless** , you’re not from north central Alabama, are you? Because it sounds like you and my mom have similar families. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-gift-of-all-time/280067/119 "2004-12-20T22:39:29Z")
The box of fake money tops the list, but I have one that might be a good first-runner-up. Not given to me, but to my ex-girlfriend when she was little. Every year. From her grandmother. All of the cousins would be given a silver dollar. Except my girlfriend. She would only get a half-dollar. Because she wasn’t being raised Catholic. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-gift-of-all-time/280067/120 "2004-12-20T23:02:39Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > **Harmless** , you’re not from north central Alabama, are you? Because it sounds like you and my mom have similar families. North Florida actually, but they had nine kids total, so I wouldn’t be surprised if we were related. 😛 That’s just a dust spec compared to the stuff our grandmother pulled on our family. I’d need a whole Pit forum, not thread - forum! to really go into detail. Meh, doesn’t matter now anyways. My mom does right by us and that’s all that matters to me. 🙂 When she starts giving our kids used t-shirts though… 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-gift-of-all-time/280067.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-gift-of-all-time/280067.md?page=7)