# Worst Christmas movie- sacred & secular (SPOILERS) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 2, 2002, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-movie-sacred-secular-spoilers/139974 "2002-12-02T16:29:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-movie-sacred-secular-spoilers/139974/1 "2002-12-02T16:29:41Z")
Sacred- NBC’s MARY MOTHER OF JESUS starring Anakin’s Mom & American Psycho as Mom & Son. SHE WAS ANAKIN’S MOM, FOR GOD’S SAKE AND HE WAS A LITTLE WUSSY MOMMA’S BOY WHO COULDN’T EVEN MAKE UP HIS OWN PARABLES. THEY WERE BEDTIME STORIES SHE TOLD HIM WHEN HE WAS LITTLE!!! Secular- ONE MAGIC CHRISTMAS- Harry Dean Stanton (whom I love) as the most depressing guardian angel ever, Santa’s workshop is apparently Heaven as good dead people work there, & when the angel screws everything up, Santa undoes it BY MAKING THE MAIN TRAGEDY OF THE FILM NEVER TO HAVE HAPPENED!!! ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-movie-sacred-secular-spoilers/139974/2 "2002-12-02T16:42:13Z")
Okay, start sending me the coal now, because I really hate ‘A Christmas Carol’. Call me a kook, call me a cynic, but I just don’t buy Scrooge’s redemption even a little bit. The lengths they have to go through to convince him, plus the ultimate fact that he’s really just scared of dying unloved don’t show me anything more than that he’s just as selfish as before. (Compare to the Grinch, fromt he animated special and book - I buy his conversion a lot more.) On a lighter note, I remember when Iwas a kit that they did an animated special called “Nestor”, about the donkey that Mary and Joseph rode on to the manger. For me, this was the height of absurdity. We’ll do animated specials on every bit player in the nativity story (coming up next! ‘Bob the Littlest Manger and the Christmas Miracle!’) except for Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-movie-sacred-secular-spoilers/139974/3 "2002-12-02T20:48:46Z")
The Rankin-Bass production of “The Little Drummer Boy” made my skin crawl, when I was a kid. A few nights ago, I saw a bit of it again, and it made my skin crawl again. I don’t know which was worse: 1. The godawful songs 2. Greer Garson’s grating narration 3. The way they beat us over the head with their “message.” ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-movie-sacred-secular-spoilers/139974/4 "2002-12-02T21:23:20Z")
Yeah I made it a point last year to seek out all the Rankin/Bass specials (I was surprised to see I’d missed so many. I’d never seen “Jack Frost,” for example.) Anyways, I couldn’t make it more than 10 minutes into Drummer Boy. I didn’t remember the Nestor one being so hit-over-the-head religious either. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-movie-sacred-secular-spoilers/139974/5 "2002-12-02T21:58:42Z")
I bet **Legomancer** must have _hated_ the [musical Scrooge](http://us.imdb.com/Details?0066344). 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-movie-sacred-secular-spoilers/139974/6 "2002-12-02T22:03:37Z")
_The Year Without a Santa Claus_ really bites, even for a Rankin-Bass. The plot just takes a left turn towards the end and goes into the ozone somewhere. I really like _Christmas Carol_, by the way. And nobody asked, but here’s how I rank them, in descending order of goodness: 1. Alistair Sim 2. George C. Scott 3. Mr. Magoo 4. Muppets (Michael Caine) 5. Patrick Stewart 6. Bill Murray (_Scrooged_) 7. Disney (really blows) Haven’t seen the Reginald Owen version enough to comment. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-movie-sacred-secular-spoilers/139974/7 "2002-12-02T22:09:00Z")
_Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey_ made me cry as a kid (when his mother died), but when I saw it on DVD last year, I realized what a sucker I had been. Does _Rudolph’s Shiny New Year_ count as a Christmas movie? If so, that is my worst, at least for non-religious. ---
**Author:** ![Grasshopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f19dbf/32.png) [@Grasshopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grasshopper)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-movie-sacred-secular-spoilers/139974/8 "2002-12-02T22:09:45Z")
And now for your holiday enjoyment, To Grandmother’s House We Go starring the adorable Olsen twins. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-movie-sacred-secular-spoilers/139974/9 "2002-12-02T23:16:15Z")
Take your pick: _Ernest Saves Christmas_ Jim Carrey’s _The Grinch Home Alone 2 Jingle All the Way Reindeer Games_ Any of the _Silent Night, Deadly Night_ series _A Very Brady Christmas_ I’d gladly sit through the hoariest Rankin-Bass selection multiple times over sitting through any of these again. ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-movie-sacred-secular-spoilers/139974/10 "2002-12-02T23:27:53Z")
You can close the thread now, Mr Moderator, sir. [Santa Claus conquers the Martians](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0058548) is the absolute stinker 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-movie-sacred-secular-spoilers/139974/11 "2002-12-03T00:05:33Z")
_A Christmas Story 2._ ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-movie-sacred-secular-spoilers/139974/12 "2002-12-03T00:40:08Z")
_The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus_, produced by Rankis-Bass from a written work by L. Frank Baum Yes, THAT L. Frank Baum. You can imagine the imagery and dialogue that that movie contained… “Tonight…the angel of death will visit Santa Claus” “These children are traing to be _Samurai_, Kris.” It’s the only christmas movie I can remember that has a freakin’ _sword fight_ in it. I won’t even comment on _Nestor_, aside form saying that it’s the cinematic equivilant of having your beating heart wrenched from your chest, thrown down upon cold concrete, and ground under a jackboot. And that…did anyone else notice that Nestor went back to his Neanderthal owner at the end of the movie? The same one that killed his mother? Another pet peeve about the “religious” Christmas movies that Rankin-Bass would make occasionally? The fact that EVERY Roman soldier is wearing an officer’s helmet. The one with the “brush” on the top. Apparently none of the Roman military personel garrisoning Judea actually worked for a living. 😉 Ranchoth (Yasumu, Rankin-Bass.) ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Some\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ad7895/32.png) [@Just\_Some\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Some_Guy)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-movie-sacred-secular-spoilers/139974/13 "2002-12-03T01:31:08Z")
Would the Mexican Santa Clause that showed up on MST3K count as sacred or secular. On one hand, it’s about Santa and how Merlin and the children he’s abducted from around the world to work in his sweatshop save Christmas with no mention of Jesus or anything else like that. On the other hand, the devil is trying to stop Santa and at one point in the movie the characters pray to Santa. So it is sacred in some sense but not sacred as us normal humans understand it… ---
**Author:** ![Banger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@Banger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banger)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-movie-sacred-secular-spoilers/139974/14 "2002-12-03T01:37:55Z")
The MST3K Mexican Santa Claus movie was great, just for the devil. Of course, I only saw the MST3K version, which most likely made it a lot better than the original. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-movie-sacred-secular-spoilers/139974/15 "2002-12-03T03:27:47Z")
Patrick Stewart did a one man Christmas Carol on B’way and it is the best version of that story. You can get a book on tape recording of him as well. On the one hand all the Rankin-Bass stuff is horrible. Did thoses guys do anything besides crappy Christmas specials? On the other hand The Grinch with Jim Carrey and directed by Ron Howard is horrible but done by compentent people so you had high expectations and were terribly let down. (Though I did enjoy the dog) Rankin-Bass all together have made more minutes of crappy Christmas so I’ll go with them. ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-movie-sacred-secular-spoilers/139974/16 "2002-12-03T03:29:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by detop \* > \*\*You can close the thread now, Mr Moderator, sir. [Santa Claus conquers the Martians](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0058548) is the absolute stinker 😃 \*\* He’s right you know. ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-movie-sacred-secular-spoilers/139974/17 "2002-12-03T03:29:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zebra \* > \*\*On the one hand all the Rankin-Bass stuff is horrible. Did thoses guys do anything besides crappy Christmas specials? > \*\* They also did crappy Tolkien adaptations. 😉 (Well, I’ve heard varying things on their version of _The Hobbit_ – but their _Return of the King_ is a universal butt of jokes among Tolkien fans. “Where there’s a whip there’s a way…”) ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-movie-sacred-secular-spoilers/139974/18 "2002-12-03T03:34:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mojo \* > \*\*_A Christmas Story 2._ \*\* Eh? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-movie-sacred-secular-spoilers/139974/19 "2002-12-03T03:53:54Z")
All right, I’ll say it: _A Christmas Story_. I never liked that movie. Sorry. And while I like the movie, _Christmas Vacation_. I have seen that movie about a million times, and I’m sick of it. EVERY YEAR my cousin has to drag it out and every laughs their head off. Doesn’t it ever get old? As for sacred, I don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![don\_Jaime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b4bc9f/32.png) [@don\_Jaime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_Jaime)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-movie-sacred-secular-spoilers/139974/20 "2002-12-03T04:30:59Z")
_A Christmas Story_ is not only horrible, it’s horrible for 24 hours straight on TBS every year. 'T the hell? But even that pales before _Santa Claus: The Movie_ starring Dudley Moore as an elf. Yecch. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-movie-sacred-secular-spoilers/139974.md?page=2)