# WORST Christmas Songs **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 1, 2003, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361 "2003-12-01T22:41:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Nvme77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Nvme77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nvme77)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/21 "2003-12-02T03:56:50Z")
I hate “do you hear what I hear” and “The little drummer boy” When I first heard the Christmas Shoes I laughed and groaned at the same time. Also- Celine Dions version of “So this is Christmas” ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/22 "2003-12-02T04:08:36Z")
How can this thread have gotten this far without anyone mentioning _All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth_? Or _I Ain’t Gettin’ Nothin’ For Christmas_? Talk about a glurge-fest. ---
**Author:** ![captainQwark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@captainQwark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/captainQwark)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/23 "2003-12-02T04:26:29Z")
I agree, Diceman. Those two songs are too cutesy for my taste ---
**Author:** ![jweb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@jweb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jweb)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/24 "2003-12-02T04:32:58Z")
I need to nominate \*Away in a Manger[’/i]. Apparently it’s written down somewhere in the annals of Lutheran ideology that, every year, all Kindergarten, 1st, and 2nd grade students must sing this song at the children’s Christmas service. Worse, they must sing all three verses of the songe, when nobody knows the words to verses 2 and 3. I would elaborate more, but this is CS, not the pit. ---
**Author:** ![I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/25 "2003-12-02T04:34:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ResIpsaLoquitor \* > \*\*I heard this goofball rewrite of “The Twelve Days of Christmas” on the radio in a Bed, Bath and Beyond the other day. It was painful to listen to, mostly because I kept wanting to clean my ears to see if I was hearing it right: \*\* I thought that I was the only one who heard this. This song gets my vote, as well. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/26 "2003-12-02T04:51:01Z")
Definately “The 12 Days of Christmas.” Not only is the tune just bad and irritating, what’s all this with the birds? I love birds but with four cockatiels, four conures, two ringnecks and God knows what else I could do without Swans a Swimmin’, Partridges eating the pears, and whatever Colleen birds are. And add into this Leaping Lords and Dancing Ladies? My true love would have definately been into the sea with concrete shoes long before the twelfth day. Also “Chestnuts on an Open Fire” or whatever that silly twaddle is called. Newsflash: the chestnut trees died, the only thing people roast over an open fire anymore is marshmellows, and when Jack Frost nips your nose you don’t sit there waxing sentimental about it , you turn the f–in heat on! How come nobody sings about turning the heat on and putting on storm doors and NOT taking sleigh rides with a bunch of poopy horses when God gave us heated cars? ---
**Author:** ![AtomicDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@AtomicDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AtomicDog)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/27 "2003-12-02T05:42:33Z")
I want that damn hippo to bite that damn little girl in two. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/28 "2003-12-02T05:45:04Z")
“Last Christmas.” That is, if it counts as a Christmas song. ---
**Author:** ![bowler\_girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7993a0/32.png) [@bowler\_girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bowler_girl)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/29 "2003-12-02T05:57:07Z")
I cringe every time I hear the Stevie Nicks version of “Silent Night”. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/30 "2003-12-02T06:16:50Z")
“Do They Know it’s Christmas” by whatever conglomeration of artists who participated in that piece of sap so that they could pretend they were doing something about world hunger and feel good about themselves. “Christmas is the Time to Say ‘I Love You’”- Billy Squier and the MTV VJ’s. “White Christmas”. Yech ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/31 "2003-12-02T07:38:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dizzy Fingers \* > \*\*Any version of Leroy Anderson’s “Sleigh Ride” that includes vocalists. > > It’s a perfectly fine orchestral piece. Why muck it up with lyrics? \*\* Finally someone who agrees with me about this song. And I might add: “Hard Candy Christmas” from _Best Little Whorehouse in Texas._ “Silent Night” - totally boring. “Feliz Navidad” and “Calypso Noel.” “Pat-a-Pan.” ---
**Author:** ![captainQwark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@captainQwark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/captainQwark)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/32 "2003-12-02T07:54:01Z")
AtomicDog, what song are you talkig about? ---
**Author:** ![Astra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f14d63/32.png) [@Astra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astra)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/33 "2003-12-02T07:58:14Z")
Has anyone else heard “I Want A Hippotamus for Christmas?” It is ALMOST as bad as “The Christmas Shoes.” ALMOST. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Long\_Road](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5a626/32.png) [@The\_Long\_Road](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Long_Road)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/34 "2003-12-02T08:03:55Z")
I’d like to give multiple votes to _And So This is Christmas_. Whenever I hear this song I think about it being used as a fund raiser for starving kids in Africa, which makes me all warm and in the holiday spirit. I didn’t know that it was originally written by John Lennon and Yoko Ono under the title \*Happy Christmas (War is over)[/] which makes it a slight bit more interesting to me. So now I can think of it as an anti-war song **and** a song about starving kids. Wow, give me that song and a glass of eggnog and I’m ready to go! At least these people know what they did [http://www.papmag.net/cgi-bin/frontend/frontend.pl?page=vote&pid=19](http://www.papmag.net/cgi-bin/frontend/frontend.pl?page=vote&pid=19) ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/35 "2003-12-02T11:02:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Astra \* > \*\*Has anyone else heard “I Want A Hippotamus for Christmas?” > It is ALMOST as bad as “The Christmas Shoes.” > ALMOST. \*\* I’ll see your Hippotamus and raise you “I Want to Spend My Christmas with a Dalek”. Awful beyond belief. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/36 "2003-12-02T11:18:43Z")
Well, “Christmas at Ground Zero” is pretty much unplayable, nowadays. Even though it was recorded back in the halcyon days of the late Cold War. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/37 "2003-12-02T12:35:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Astra \* > \*\*Has anyone else heard “I Want A Hippotamus for Christmas?” > It is ALMOST as bad as “The Christmas Shoes.” > ALMOST. \*\* I forgot about that song. Extremely annoying. (BTW: I’ve never heard “The Christmas Shoes.” It sounds like I’m lucky.) ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/38 "2003-12-02T13:00:09Z")
I can’t believe I’m the first to say “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”. It’s just twisted. If my dad had only seen my mother getting it on with a fat stranger…what a laff riot! What is going on in this kid’s head? ---
**Author:** ![NutWrench](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nutwrench/32/20193_2.png) [@NutWrench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutWrench)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/39 "2003-12-02T13:06:20Z")
Another vote for ‘Jingle Bell Rock’ ---
**Author:** ![Pabitel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@Pabitel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pabitel)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/40 "2003-12-02T13:22:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* > \*\*I’ll see your Hippotamus and raise you “I Want to Spend My Christmas with a Dalek”. Awful beyond belief. \*\* Or if you are from the other side of the pond there is always, “What do you buy a Wookie for Christmas (if he already has a comb” And no, I am not kidding. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361.md?page=3)