# WORST Christmas Songs **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 1, 2003, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361 "2003-12-01T22:41:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Pabitel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@Pabitel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pabitel)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/41 "2003-12-02T13:28:50Z")
For my own vote I name “Pretty Paper”. Whenever I hear that one my skin creeps up my back and huddles on the nape of my neck until it is over or I run out of range of the speakers. \ ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/42 "2003-12-02T13:32:17Z")
Am I the only Doper who has heard Donny Osmond’s version of “When Children Rule the World”? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/43 "2003-12-02T13:35:55Z")
Is there _anyone_ who likes the dogs barking out “Jingle Bells”?? That was clever for maybe 7 seconds… ---
**Author:** ![Gotterfunken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/58956e/32.png) [@Gotterfunken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gotterfunken)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/44 "2003-12-02T13:38:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ResIpsaLoquitor \* > \*\*I heard this goofball rewrite of “The Twelve Days of Christmas” on the radio in a Bed, Bath and Beyond the other day. It was painful to listen to, mostly because I kept wanting to clean my ears to see if I was hearing it right: > > “On the twelfth day of Christmas my good friends gave to me > All their good wishes > Gifts for one and all > some mistletoe > a guardian angel > gold and silver tinsel > candles a-glowing > little silver bells > A SHIN-ING STAAAAR > Four coloured lights > Three boughs of holly > Two candy canes > And a song for the Christmas tree!” > \*\* That’s from Andy Williams’ Christmas album, which also included such gems as “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”: > [@](#): > > There’ll be parties for hosting > Marshmallows for toasting > And caroling out in the snow > There’ll be scary ghost stories > And tales of the glories of > Christmases long, long ago I was always confused by the reference to ghost stories. Not a tradition in my household, I guess. Thanks, **ResIpsaLoquitor** –now I’ll have Andy Williams stuck in my head for the rest of the day/week/season… ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/45 "2003-12-02T13:49:35Z")
At least some of these are \*meant \*to be stupid. ---
**Author:** ![williamweigand](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b3f665/32.png) [@williamweigand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/williamweigand)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/46 "2003-12-02T14:59:03Z")
**The Long Road** I think you’re confusing 2 or 3 different songs–at the very least , I don’t think John Lennon & Yoko Ono had anything to do with the raise-funds-for-starving-Africans song.Wasn’t that called “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/47 "2003-12-02T15:06:35Z")
**Melandry** , gotta agree with you. _Christmas Shoes_ is the glurgiest glurge that ever glurged. And **Diceman** , [here](http://www.lyricsstyle.com/n/newsong/thechristmasshoes.html) are the lyrics. Enjoy. Or not. Depends on your glurge threshold, I suppose. 😃 And I also agree with **bowler girl**. Stevie Nicks has a unique voice. Her secondary talent appears to be the ability to recognize which songs will create an appropriate setting for that voice. How she got hooked into singing _Silent Night_, I can’t quite figure. In this recording, she sounds like Froggy from the Little Rascals grew up and got a sex change. The raspy, smoky voice is absolutely LOST on this simple little tune. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/48 "2003-12-02T15:08:38Z")
_Do They Know It’s Christmas (Feed the World)_ was Bob Geldof’s pet project before LiveAid and a direct inspiration for USA for Africa and _We Are the World_. Lennon was already dead when it was recorded. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/49 "2003-12-02T15:15:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rowrrbazzle \* > \*\*South Park’s “O Holy Night”. Just ugly (yes, I know that’s intentional). \*\* No no no no – the worst _South Park_ Christmas song has to be Mr. Mackey singing “Christmas M’kay” to the tune of “Carol of the Bells.” ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/50 "2003-12-02T15:37:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Uvula Donor \* > \*\*…and _I’ll_ pay for the festive barbed-wire garland. \*\* I’ve got a string of lights here with a short in it . . . ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/51 "2003-12-02T16:05:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Long Road \* > \*\*I’d like to give multiple votes to _And So This is Christmas_. Whenever I hear this song I think about it being used as a fund raiser for starving kids in Africa, which makes me all warm and in the holiday spirit. > > I didn’t know that it was originally written by John Lennon and Yoko Ono under the title \*Happy Christmas (War is over)[/] which makes it a slight bit more interesting to me. > So now I can think of it as an anti-war song **and** a song about starving kids. Wow, give me that song and a glass of eggnog and I’m ready to go! > > At least these people know what they did > [http://www.papmag.net/cgi-bin/frontend/frontend.pl?page=vote&pid=19](http://www.papmag.net/cgi-bin/frontend/frontend.pl?page=vote&pid=19) \*\* I’d second that. The lines " So this is christmas, and what have you done/ another year over, And a new one just begun " make no sense whatsoever. Where do they celebrate Christmas after New Years? ---
**Author:** ![Eman\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Eman\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eman_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/52 "2003-12-02T16:39:50Z")
So…nobody’s mentioned “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney?? I’m shocked! That song is vile. ---
**Author:** ![Archergal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Archergal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archergal)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/53 "2003-12-02T17:12:21Z")
“Blue Christmas” by Elvis Presley. I cannot STAND that song. I’m not sure if it’s the stuttering of “Ah’ll-a hav-a uh-a…” at the beginning or the “ah-woo-oo-WOO-oo” wailing of the female backup singers in the background. It just gets on my last nerve. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/54 "2003-12-02T17:28:32Z")
> [@](#): > > And **Diceman,** here are the lyrics. Enjoy. Or not. Jeeeesus! That almost put me into a sugar coma! I do believe that we have a winner there. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/55 "2003-12-02T17:33:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scarlett67 \* > \*\*I’ve got a string of lights here with a short in it . . . \*\* I have some reindeers with pointed antlers that I’ll donate. This just gets better and better. ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/56 "2003-12-02T17:35:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Skopo \* > \*\*That’s from Andy Williams’ Christmas album, which also included such gems as “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”: > > I was always confused by the reference to ghost stories. Not a tradition in my household, I guess. > > Thanks, **ResIpsaLoquitor** –now I’ll have Andy Williams stuck in my head for the rest of the day/week/season… \*\* I haven’t read all the posts yet, so I apologize if someone has posted this already: “Scary Ghost Stories” is a reference to “A Christmas Carol” by Dickens. It really is a ghost story after all. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/57 "2003-12-02T17:41:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dizzy Fingers \* > \*\*Any version of Leroy Anderson’s “Sleigh Ride” that includes vocalists. > > It’s a perfectly fine orchestral piece. Why muck it up with lyrics? \*\* I’ve always DETESTED “Sleigh Ride”. Even worse, some years ago I got my wires crossed and the tune is permanently fused in my mind with the Kennel Ration jingle: “My dog’s better 'cause he eats Kennel Ration” and now I can’t hear the theme without putting those words to it! ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/58 "2003-12-02T17:41:29Z")
I cannot stand **Bruce Springsteen’s** Santa Claus is Comin’ To Town. ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/59 "2003-12-02T17:46:13Z")
So many excellent choices, but the fingernails on the chalkboard of my Christmas is a little ditty by Debbie Reynalds and Donald O’Conner called “Chrissy the Christmas Mouse” followed by nearly every “cute” or overly sentimental tune listed here. ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361/60 "2003-12-02T17:52:24Z")
Sorry, I forgot. Cite: [http://www.santasearch.com/lyrics.asp?SongID=399](http://www.santasearch.com/lyrics.asp?SongID=399) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-christmas-songs/216361.md?page=4)