# Worst "Classic" Book Ever **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 31, 2001, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-classic-book-ever/79185 "2001-08-31T20:09:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Qwertyasdfg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ecc23a/32.png) [@Qwertyasdfg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qwertyasdfg)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-classic-book-ever/79185/1 "2001-08-31T20:09:38Z")
My vote is for “To Kill a Mockingbird.” Theres about 50 pages of decent writing, but the rest is garbage. I don’t understand why it got all the praise, especially, winning a Pulitzer. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-classic-book-ever/79185/2 "2001-08-31T20:15:43Z")
I love “To Kill A Mockingbird.” The all-time worst “classic” (if you can call it that) to me is James Joyce’s _Ulysses_. Hundreds of pages of completely unreadable tripe. I’ve read Sartre, Faulkner, Camus, and a hundred other “dense” writers. For some reason, I’ve never been able to wade through _Ulysses._ ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-classic-book-ever/79185/3 "2001-08-31T20:17:01Z")
The Brothers Kamarazov. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I think To Kill a Mockingbird got so much attention because while on the surface it was a child’s coming-of-age story, it addressed uncomfortable questions of race and class in an honest, straightforward way. Lee took a very courageous step for the time, and managed to skillfully make it part of a story with interesting characters that grow and change. ---
**Author:** ![Cap\_n\_Crude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Cap\_n\_Crude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cap_n_Crude)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-classic-book-ever/79185/4 "2001-08-31T20:18:33Z")
I rather like _TKaMB,_ but there’s no accounting for taste. Let’s agree to disagree. Here are two of my personal literary demons: _Sons and Lovers,_ by D.H. Lawrence. Utterly unreadable pap that still causes me pain whenever I think about having read it. _The Old Man and the Sea,_ by Ernest Hemingway. A very good story, but it’s about 200 pages too long. Should have been a short story. ---
**Author:** ![Interrobang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/interrobang/32/17463_2.png) [@Interrobang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interrobang)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-classic-book-ever/79185/5 "2001-08-31T20:24:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cap’n Crude \* > \*\*_The Old Man and the Sea,_ by Ernest Hemingway. A very good story, but it’s about 200 pages too long. Should have been a short story. \*\* _The Old Man and the Sea_ is about 120 pages long as is. Although personally, I think I would’ve preferred a -80 page version; I wish you’d been the one selecting my high school reading list. Which reminds me of another “classic” that I loathe: John Steinbeck’s _The Pearl_. Ugh, ugh, ugh. I had to read that three times in high school, and it got worse every time. _The Great Gatsby_, on the other hand, improved every time I read it. I really disliked it the first time I read it, but when I read it for the third time my freshman year in college, I learned to love it. ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-classic-book-ever/79185/6 "2001-08-31T20:28:27Z")
“Is Mr. Heathcliff a man? If so, is he mad? And if not, is he a devil?” Who cares? ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-classic-book-ever/79185/7 "2001-08-31T20:29:27Z")
> [@](#): > > The Brothers Kamarazov. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I am really surprised that you dislike this book, especially given your knwowledge and taste. 😉 I forget…do you read Russian? If not, did you try to read the omnipresent translation by Constance Garnett? If your answers are no and yes respectively, then I suggest you give the book another shit…with a different translator. MR ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-classic-book-ever/79185/8 "2001-08-31T20:32:18Z")
**Ulysses** - yes! **Brothers K** - YES, YES! Don’t know if I can improve upon those, but I’ll add anything by Faulkner, and **A Confederacy of Dunces**. ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-classic-book-ever/79185/9 "2001-08-31T20:39:53Z")
Maeglin, I mostly love Dostoyevsky. I don’t read Russian. I loved “The Idiot.” I loved “Crime and Punishment.” I even love “Notes from Underground.” I read Franz Kafka for fun and groove on Bulgakov and Kundera and Skvorecky and Klima and Hrabal and Chekov, Tolstoy and Czeslaw Milosz and Miroslav Holub and Tadeusz Borowski, Arnost Lustig, Gogol… But I hate, hate, HATE “The Brothers Kamarazov.” I’ve never used Cliff Notes, but this is one book for which I’d consider them. I’ve tried to read 3 different translations, I get through the first 40 pages or so and I just give up. What a hateful, boring group of characters. Perhaps in trying to make every character illustrate some “type” or “principle” he’s forgotten to make them lovable or human? I have no real explanation. But I hate it. Anyone wanting an intro to Dostoyevsky or this period in Russian literature should just stay away from this book. I’m reading “The Great Gatsby” now. I’m not terribly impressed but I’m not hating it either - anyone want to tell me why they like it? Why is it such a big deal? “A Confederacy of Dunces” is brilliant in some ways but not very much fun- the laughs are not worth the chore of reading. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-classic-book-ever/79185/10 "2001-08-31T20:45:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dinsdale \* > \*\ ***Ulysses** - yes! > **Brothers K** - YES, YES! > > Don’t know if I can improve upon those, but I’ll add anything by Faulkner, and **A Confederacy of Dunces**. \*\* I reciprocate by disagreeing! I love Faulkner, even at his long-winded worst. And _Confederacy of Dunces_ is absolutely brilliant. I’ve never laughed out loud as often as when I was reading it. ---
**Author:** ![bashere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@bashere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bashere)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-classic-book-ever/79185/11 "2001-08-31T20:52:47Z")
The Scarlett Letter. Very very very bad. > [@](#): > > - Regarding The Brothers Kamarazov\* > I get through the first 40 pages or so and I just give up. I’ve got four or five different friends (and me )who love Dostoyevsky, but who can’t make it past the christ-returns story about 100 pages into the book. This has no real bearing on the op, but I thought I’d mention it. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-classic-book-ever/79185/12 "2001-08-31T21:03:22Z")
Herman Melville is the pits. “Bartleby the Scrivener” was about 40 pages, but read like 400. “Billy Budd” was about 75 pages, and read liike 7000. And “Moby Dick,” well… I’ll never forgive him for that one. Attention schoolchildren: if your teacher EVER assigns you to read Herman Melville, tell her “I would prefer not to.” And James Fenimore Cooper is right behind Herman. I can only guess that the Frenchman and the Russian who translated “The Last of the Mohicans” must have been MUCH better writers than Cooper himself. A writer as bad as Cooper can only BENEFIT from translation. ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-classic-book-ever/79185/13 "2001-08-31T21:08:10Z")
Hmmm. I was gonna stay out of this because it just sounds like a pissing contest but I can’t let an insult to _The Scarlet Letter_ go unchallenged. It’s on my top five novels ever list, right after _Pride and Prejudice_. And I love Melville, particularly _Billy Budd_ and _Bartelby the Scrivener_. De gustibus non est disputandem. p.s. My entry for this category is _The Great Gatsby_, which has already been praised by others here. See what I mean? ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-classic-book-ever/79185/14 "2001-08-31T21:14:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pluto \* > \*\*Hmmm. I was gonna stay out of this because it just sounds like a pissing contest but I can’t let an insult to _The Scarlet Letter_ go unchallenged. It’s on my top five novels ever list, right after _Pride and Prejudice_. And I love Melville, particularly _Billy Budd_ and _Bartelby the Scrivener_. > > De gustibus non est disputandem. > > p.s. My entry for this category is _The Great Gatsby_, which has already been praised by others here. See what I mean? \*\* ::shrug:: Hell, I don’t see any flaming going on. All we’re really proving is that people have different tastes. I think it’s pretty interesting to see what people have to say about it. Loves me some F. Scott Fitzgerald, by the way. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Protesilaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Protesilaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Protesilaus)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-classic-book-ever/79185/15 "2001-08-31T21:25:31Z")
I’ll have to agree with **bashere** , _The Scarlet Letter_ was very boring. I never had to read _To Kill a Mockingbird_ in high school, though. ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-classic-book-ever/79185/16 "2001-08-31T21:26:42Z")
Many of the books mentioned already are of course some of my favorite books 🙂 . I will however jump on the Down with A Confederacy of Dunces bandwagon. I have never picked up a book so eagerly only to suspect very strongly that somehow, someone had vandalized my copy of a Great American work by ripping out the actual good book and replacing it with page after page of dreck. At one point, I said “Hey, wait a minute, _I_ am the dunce, because I am still reading this book!” But by a landslide, my own personal I Would Never Burn A Book But I Might Look The Other Way If I Saw Some Sparks From A Nearby Bonfire Heading Its Way Or At Least Not Move Very Quickly To Jump Up And Get The Fire Extinguisher is The Heart of Darkness. Ooooh, oooooh, Africa is so scary, and black people are so scary, and boats are sort of scary, and ooooh oooooh isn’t this _shocking_. ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-classic-book-ever/79185/17 "2001-08-31T21:28:10Z")
**Tess of the D’Urbervilles**. I will light myself on fire before I read this again. **Last of the Mohicans**. I wanted to crap on the head of the teacher who assigned this reading. **Uncle Tom’s Cabin**. Stunningly bad writing. Cardboard characters. Predictable plot. Reads almost like a parody of overblown melodrama. Almost. But I _liked_ **To Kill a Mockingbird**. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-classic-book-ever/79185/18 "2001-08-31T21:29:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by astorian \* > \*\*“Bartleby the Scrivener” was about 40 pages, but read like 400… A writer as bad as Cooper can only BENEFIT from translation. \*\* I like “Bartleby” because I know that guy. In 1850 he became a copyist. In 1970 he became a draftsman. OTOH, the English editions of Cooper now available are “translations,” too. Even those not intended for young readers. Apparently the original is nearly incomprehensible. ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-classic-book-ever/79185/19 "2001-08-31T21:31:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Atreyu \* > \*\ ***Tess of the D’Urbervilles**. I will light myself on fire before I read this again. > \*\* Dear. God. Yes. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-classic-book-ever/79185/20 "2001-08-31T21:42:41Z")
Another vote for A Confederacy of Dunces. I kept reading it, thinking, “Well, it’s gotta get good sometime, it won a freakin’ Pulitzer…” It never got good IMHO. I also (and I expect to get some flack for this) _could not could not could NOT_ read The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. It was nearly physically impossble for me to read that book. I can’t even begin to describe what about the book I didn’t like, but I just _couldn’t_ read it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-classic-book-ever/79185.md?page=2)