# Worst. Comicbook. Ever. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 13, 2003, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-comicbook-ever/212976 "2003-11-13T04:48:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-comicbook-ever/212976/41 "2003-11-14T07:09:47Z")
Anyone ever read 3D Man? I’ve heard it was really weak, but never read it. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lodoen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b3f665/32.png) [@Jeff\_Lodoen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lodoen)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-comicbook-ever/212976/42 "2003-11-14T08:02:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by UnuMondo \* > \*\*Geez, thirty-something posts and no one has mentioned _Quasar_ yet. The bottom-ranked of Marvel’s sales for a reason. > > UnuMondo \*\* What was wrong with it? I only read it recently… I, a serious Marvel Zombie, never bought it in the day. It is a geeky book. Explores the cosmic hooey of the MU and the appendix of minor characters. I only started reading DC around the Crisis. The old DCU had just started to turn the corner, but the changes after the Crisis were pointless and stupid… ---
**Author:** ![Kaitlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/73ab20/32.png) [@Kaitlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaitlyn)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-comicbook-ever/212976/43 "2003-11-14T08:13:50Z")
Another vote fore Captain Carrot as being pretty good. The original premise was to take a story from a previous Superman comic and expand it into a full series. In that story, Supes crosses over into a parallel earth where the inhabitants are all funny animals, including the superheroes. Supersquirrel is the Superman analogue. Anyway, the plan was to create a funny animal Justice league. There were problems with the liscencing rights to some of the characters they wanted to parody, so they decided to create brand new ones from scratch, and voila, Captain Carrot. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-comicbook-ever/212976/44 "2003-11-14T08:45:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Some Guy \* > \*\*FTR, Rob Liefeld’s attempt to do _Captain America_ certainly belongs somewhere on this list, especially if you count the ripoff series he did after getting fired from the original gig. \*\* Liefeld’s _Captain America_…that was the one that had the really screwed up artwork, right? 'Like one panel where Cap’s chest looks like it’s about 4 feet deep? ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-comicbook-ever/212976/45 "2003-11-14T08:55:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ranchoth \* > Liefeld’s _Captain America_…that was the one that had the really screwed up artwork, right? 'Like one panel where Cap’s chest looks like it’s about 4 feet deep? Oh, Primus, yes – I’ve got a list of all the art mistakes in Liefeld’s **Captain America** #1, and it’s a doozy. Shields that double in size from one panel to the next, thugs with forearms bigger than their heads, people walking without their feet touching the sidewalk, ludicrous anatomy, Steve Rogers eating lunch with two spoons, etc. I’d link to it, but it’s not up on the web. I really should stick it up… ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-comicbook-ever/212976/46 "2003-11-14T11:46:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ranchoth \* > \*\*Liefeld’s _Captain America_…that was the one that had the really screwed up artwork, right? 'Like one panel where Cap’s chest looks like it’s about 4 feet deep? \*\* Yeah, it’s also the one where Captain _America_ had a waffenampt\* on his forehead. 'Cuz it looked kewl. So what if it was a Nazi symbol? It was better than that stoopid “A”, right? :rolleyes: \*a marking that Nazis stamped on their weapons. I can’t find a picture, but it _is_ that stylized eagle that Cap had on his head in the Leifeld version. ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-comicbook-ever/212976/47 "2003-11-14T12:49:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Some Guy \* > \*\*No offense meant, but I have to object to this. Firstly, the last year or so of the previous _Catwoman_ series sucked pretty badly (but not as badly as _U.S 1_). The current writing is actually good. Secondly, it actually has the best art of anything DC is publishing right now - the fact that it isn’t Jim Lee-shiny doesn’t make it bad, it makes it appropriate for the tone of the series. Unfortunately, DC is preparing to scrap the current style in favor of the previously-mentioned shininess, which will be a big loss. > \*\* No offense taken; to each his/her own. I was a big fan of the previous series and felt cheated that they ended it before reaching the magic 100th book. The story writing to me is a separate issue; and perhaps I didn’t get the gist of the OP. For me. the artwork heavily outweighs writing. I find the current art style extremely juvenile; by juvenile, I equate it to the shit graffiti styles I see on buildings. I guess I’m old-school. You say they’re going back? I may have to check it out. ---
**Author:** ![commie\_sho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/db5fbb/32.png) [@commie\_sho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commie_sho)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-comicbook-ever/212976/48 "2003-11-14T13:17:41Z")
Shaloman, a zionist comic where Israelites call upon Mt. Sinai to morph into Shaloman to kill bumbling Arab terrorists. I’m not making this up. ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-comicbook-ever/212976/49 "2003-11-14T15:28:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > \*\*I can top all of them. > > “Street Poet Ray”. > > Put out by Marvel in the early '90s and in large part was responsible for their financial troubles. “Prestige Format” book (think “Dark Knight Returns”) where each page was divided into four panels. In each panel was a bad stick drawing (looked like it was done by a talentless child with a learning disablity) and each panel had one verse of “street haiku” by a 40 year old guy who convinced…um…who was the CEO at the time? Jim Galton? that he spoke in da voice of da yoot of America. > > With such “street haiku” as > > Bald people sensitive > Without hair life tentative > Cut them break stop the jokes > Tasteless words hurt and provoke. > > or > > Some live right some live wrong > Some folks weak some really strong > World revolve yin and yang > Good and bad each choose their gang. > > I’m not so sure that these were pressing issues for today’s yoot. > > If you look [you can get an idea. > > And some of his stands were bold beyond words. Why, he he took the daring position that abortion is a contriversial issue!!! > > Baby Live. Baby Die > Abortion the great divide > Tempers Flare. Pro and Con > No one right if all are wrong > > [http://www.lib.siu.edu/~bfagan/spr2.jpg](http://www.lib.siu.edu/~bfagan/spr2.jpg)]([http://www.lib.siu.edu/~bfagan/spr1.jpg](http://www.lib.siu.edu/~bfagan/spr1.jpg)) > > Remeber, this was published by MARVEL in a high-quality, square bound $4.95(?) book! > > Peter David once said it read like Dumb Hulk was writing it: > > Hulk like beans! > Beans real good! > Yum Yum Yum! > Globalthermonuclear war bad. > > Seriously. I’ve read The Green Team (rich kids solve problems with money–DC, about 1974), I’ve got both "Brother Power, THe Geek"s. I’ve got the issues of Captain Victory with Paranax, The Fightin’ Fetus (really!) and I’ve even read Marville and survived to tell the tale. But _nothing_ tops Street Poet Ray for bad. \*\* I heard rumors of cocaine use at Marvel in the 80’s and 90’s – I guess this finally proves it. I’ll give you Street Poet Ray – probably working off a dealer debt or something. You win – I’ve not seen anything that bad in over 30 years of perusing the racks. (of comics that is) ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-comicbook-ever/212976/50 "2003-11-14T15:58:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rjung \* > \*\*Oh, Primus, yes – I’ve got a list of all the art mistakes in Liefeld’s **Captain America** #1, and it’s a doozy. Shields that double in size from one panel to the next, thugs with forearms bigger than their heads, people walking without their feet touching the sidewalk, ludicrous anatomy, Steve Rogers eating lunch with two spoons, etc. > > I’d link to it, but it’s not up on the web. I really should stick it up… \*\* Oooooor is it? [http://ape-law.com/GAF/Page06/index.html](http://ape-law.com/GAF/Page06/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-comicbook-ever/212976/51 "2003-11-14T16:43:38Z")
Oooh, let me toss in: Marvel’s entire 2099 line. _After_ editor Joey Cavalieri was fired, of course. When Marvel let him go, most of the 2099 staff left with him. This led to the entire series’ plotlines being rewritten, in some cases, mid-issue. Karl Kesel had done four 1/2 fabulous issues of _Fantastic Four 2099_ which would have inevitably led to the revelation that they were the original FF, plucked from somewhere in Byrne’s early run. In the middle of issue #5, the plot was altered so that, instead of being attacked by a very old Blaastar, we ended up with a Tim LaHaye equivalent of Dr. Strange warning about floods. Everything that followed was crap. Lord, it was depressing. I’d have sold my soul to get back the glory days of Dr. Doom’s presidency. ---
**Author:** ![bmoak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@bmoak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bmoak)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-comicbook-ever/212976/52 "2003-11-14T17:16:09Z")
Here are some from those who should know better, all taken from the Gone & Forgotten pages. 1. From Neal Adams: I give you [Skateman](http://ape-law.com/GAF/Page28/index.html)! In the early 90s, Kitchen Sink put out a 2-issue miniseries called “the World’s Worst Comic Awards” (or something to that effect), and this was #1 with a bullet. Putting Neal Adams art on one of the worst scripts and concepts in comic history is like putting whipped cream and a cherry on top of a cowpie sundae. Skateman presented himself as a hero for the Hispanic community, protecting migrant farm workers and taking a pre-pubescent Mexican boy under his wing (and giving him live hand greandes to use). A long-haired, blond Anglo on rollerskates wearing tight form-fitting shorts who hangs around with young boys. Just the character Latinos would embrace, no? (Alternate selections from the Neal Adams Hall of Shame include Ms. Mystic and Jason Kriter, Toyboy.) 1. From Joe Simon: I give you [[http://ape-law.com/GAF/Page20](http://ape-law.com/GAF/Page20)] The Green Team . Luckily, these guys never got their own book, they were just one of many crappy concepts to grace the pages of First Issue Special, DC’s 70s tryout book. (Mike Grell’s Warlord was the only feature to actually graduate to its own series. Compare this to 50s/60s tryout books Showcase and Brave & the Bold, hich spun off the Silver Age versions of Flash, Green Lantern, Hawkman & the Atom, pllus the Justice League of America, the Teen Titans and a host of others.) A rich kid thrillseeker club, filled with stock characters such as the twepy commodore, the Tezas cowboy oil gazillionaire, and the beret-and-ascot wearing flamboyant Hollywood child star. And don’t forget token member Abdul Smith, a humble shoeshine boy who got his millions through a bank error! This bunch solved problems by throwing money at them, literally. Y’see, they would carry huge wads of cash in their outifts and would toss it into the air and run away when faced with menacing crowds and the like. (Alternate selections from the Joe Simon Hall of Shame include Prez, the Teenage President of the United States and Brother Power, the Geek) From Jack Kirby: I give you [The Dingbats of Danger Street](http://apelaw.com/GAF/Page)! This was Kirby’s 70s attempt to update the kid-gang comics of the 40s that he and his partner had pioneered. There’s a reason why the eventually stopped making Bowery Boys features. The lack of a coherent plot and dialogue that makes the kids seem like they are off their meds doesn’t help either. Calling all Dingbats! (Alternate selections from the Jack KirbyHall of Shame include Captain Victory and Devil Dinosaur.) ---
**Author:** ![bmoak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@bmoak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bmoak)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-comicbook-ever/212976/53 "2003-11-14T17:24:23Z")
Curse my crappy coding! Try [http://ape-law.com/GAF/Page19](http://ape-law.com/GAF/Page19) for the Dingbats. Oh, and Kirby’s partner in the 40s whose name I forgot to mention was Joe Simon. ---
**Author:** ![Dogface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@Dogface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogface)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-comicbook-ever/212976/54 "2003-11-14T17:31:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kantalooppi \* > \*\*[I can’t imagine this could be very good.](http://faans.com/images/CAPCARROTHEADER1.jpg) > > You’ve got to love the look on Superman’s face, though. I guess he knows, in his heart, that there are tentacles and furries approaching and he’s a comic-book character. \*\* What’s sad is that I could name all the characters on that cover. ---
**Author:** ![bmoak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@bmoak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bmoak)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-comicbook-ever/212976/55 "2003-11-14T17:47:20Z")
Curse my crappy coding! Try [http://ape-law.com/GAF/Page19](http://ape-law.com/GAF/Page19) for the Dingbats. Oh, and Kirby’s partner in the 40s whose name I forgot to mention was Joe Simon. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-comicbook-ever/212976/56 "2003-11-14T22:05:02Z")
Thanks a lot, **bmoak.** I _used_ to think of Jack Kirby as a god among men, an artist without peer who could do no wrong. That image of the **Dingbats** introducing themselves debased me of this notion, and have revealed my god as being a mere mortal. 😉 (“Bananas”? “BANANAS”??? :eek: ) ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-comicbook-ever/212976/57 "2003-11-15T03:33:47Z")
Captain Carrot was a fine funny-animal comic. I’m oddly proud to own Dingbats #1, all but one issue of the original SilverStar miniseries (the back up \ was quite good. One character was a chemist who passed himself off as a wizard.\>), and an issue of Captain Victory with the aforementioned Paranex, The Fighting Fetus (He hung out with Ursan the Unclean, Fenarkin the Fearless, and Bloody Marion). Shalomman- Yeah, the early issues are rather prejudiced against arabs. When Jewish organizations condemned the bigotry, the creator of Shalomman responded by calling them self-hating Jews. Later, he eased off on the prejudice. Some issues are actually quite funny. How do you summon Shalomman? He springs to life to aid any distressed person who intones the ancient phrase “Oy vey!”. The creator/artist/writer lives in Philly. I’ve toyed with the idea of getting his permission to do Shalomman-The Musical. ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-comicbook-ever/212976/58 "2003-11-15T05:33:43Z")
Geeze, Doc, I forgot you were a comic collected AND a Philly-resident. We have GOT to meet at Showcase on South Street sometime. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-comicbook-ever/212976/59 "2003-11-15T05:51:48Z")
**ResIpsaLoquitor** You know, we have had Philly Dopefests. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-comicbook-ever/212976/60 "2003-11-15T08:56:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Max Carnage \* > > > [@](#): > > > > I’d link to it, but it’s not up on the web. > > Oooooor is it? > > [http://ape-law.com/GAF/Page06/index.html](http://ape-law.com/GAF/Page06/index.html) Nah, mine is even _longer_… :eek: 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-comicbook-ever/212976.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-comicbook-ever/212976.md?page=4)