# Worst corporate/product mascots **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 21, 2005, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-corporate-product-mascots/304873 "2005-05-21T14:21:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2005, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-corporate-product-mascots/304873/21 "2005-05-21T23:12:38Z")
All the mascots mentioned so far have been famous and/or durable enough that most people know who they are, so they may have sucked, but they couldn’t have been that unpopular. The least popular mascots I can think of are (1) [Sport Marty](http://cookiegluck.com/characters.html) of SportMart. He’s in the third picture down, under Bupkes the Bagel and next to the talking stomach. A life-sized, human puppet. I think he lasted about a week. (2) [Mr. Delicious](http://www.grumpygourmetusa.com/grumpblog.html) of Rax. The 2 Nov 2004 entry of the linked blog actually blames him for the demise of this once-vaunted fast-food chain. He came and went so fast that even in this consumerism-saturated age of ours the above link is one of only two Google hits for “Mr. Delicious” and Rax. Tick-a-dee-dee! ---
**Author:** ![supervenusfreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@supervenusfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supervenusfreak)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2005, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-corporate-product-mascots/304873/22 "2005-05-21T23:36:47Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > We love the suuuuuubs… You are just evil! Revenge shall be wrought! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-corporate-product-mascots/304873/23 "2005-05-22T03:29:25Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > The little toenail fungus monster > The phlegm clot (Mr. Mucus) from the Mucinex ads I’m just grateful Preparation H hasn’t jumped on this particular bandwagon. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-corporate-product-mascots/304873/24 "2005-05-22T03:38:59Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > I’m just grateful Preparation H hasn’t jumped on this particular bandwagon. The only question is, would his name be Petey the Pile or Herman the Hemorrhoid? ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-corporate-product-mascots/304873/25 "2005-05-22T03:39:32Z")
Remember the [Puttermans](http://www.tvacres.com/robots_puttermans.htm)? ---
**Author:** ![Squonk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squonk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squonk)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-corporate-product-mascots/304873/26 "2005-05-22T03:48:39Z")
I had forgotten the Puttermans. For a while I refused to buy Duracell batterries because of those damn commercials. They were positively evil. I may have to reinstitue my ban. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-corporate-product-mascots/304873/27 "2005-05-22T04:21:21Z")
> [@supervenusfreak](#): > > You are just evil! Revenge shall be wrought! Sorry, but I LOVED those guys. truth is, they loved the MOON. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-corporate-product-mascots/304873/28 "2005-05-22T04:33:02Z")
Does anybody remember “Face”? He was a disembodied face that was the mascot for Anheuser Busch’s Eagle Snacks when the company challenged Frito-Lay for control of the junk food market in the 90’s. I recall that shortly after Eagle Snacks introduced the “Face” ad campaign, Anheuser Busch pulled the plug on the division and Eagle Snacks’ products suddenly vanished from grocery store snack food aisles across the country. The official explanation for Eagle Snacks abrupt departure was inability to compete with Frito-Lay, but I can’t help but wonder that the creepiness of the “Face” character to people was what really killed Eagle Snacks. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-corporate-product-mascots/304873/29 "2005-05-22T04:39:09Z")
There is a cave in Alabama called [Desoto Caverns](http://www.desotocavernspark.com/main/index.html). Their mascot, named for de Soto of course, is [Happy Hernando](http://www.gethep.net/road/images/desoto.jpg), a guy in a suit with a big fluffy head who commemorates the man who brought smallpox, Rottweilers, the Inquisition, slavery and forced concubinage to the natives. (Rejected mascots include Smiley Smallpox, Jumpy Jenny-Side and Impy Imperialism.) The park also has a playhouse in the shape of a galleon that used to prominantly featured on the park’s brochure- it’s “hull” filled with little black children. Apparently when political correctness invaded the south, the die-hards headed for the caves. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-corporate-product-mascots/304873/30 "2005-05-22T05:51:25Z")
It was back in the days when I was still in the DEP (Delayed Enlistment Program). For those of you who don’t know what that means: It means I signed the papers and was just waiting for my day to go to Basic. Still mostly a civilian, but with the odd meeting to go to and stuff you’re strongly suggested to volunteer for. One of the volunteer things was helping out at an air show at the local municipal airport. I hauled some stuff, helped set up the Air Force booth… and then something bizarre happened. My recruiter had a suit he wanted me to wear. This suit was a big balloon-suit affair, which was kept constantly inflated with a fan unit. All set up, it stood about eight feet tall. But what really got me was what the suit was of. It was a big-headed Air Force recruiter. Named “Ricky Recruiter”. I shit you not. And he wanted _me_ to wear that. As politely as I could manage, I excused myself from the airshow and got the hell out of there, all the while thinking _You don’t own me quite yet. While I still have the smallest shred of dignity, **I am not wearing the god damn Ricky Recruiter suit!** _ I did, however, catch a glimpse of _him_ in the suit. One day, while the government still owns my body, they may call upon me to wear the Suit. I’ve done a lot of things I’m not proud of in my life. If ordered to, I’ll go to a godforsaken desert to fight for a cause I don’t believe in for a President who I never voted for. But if they order me to wear a damned Ricky Recruiter suit, well… if it’s all the same to you, sir, I’ll take the Article 15. ---
**Author:** ![Birdmonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71e660/32.png) [@Birdmonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Birdmonster)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-corporate-product-mascots/304873/31 "2005-05-22T07:07:08Z")
Walmart’s bouncing yellow smiley face is pretty hateful. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-corporate-product-mascots/304873/32 "2005-05-22T07:25:37Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > The only question is, would his name be Petey the Pile or Herman the Hemorrhoid? Not Herman, Hank. (o/~ I get bigger when you void, I’m Hank the Happy Hemmorrhoid! o/~) ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-corporate-product-mascots/304873/33 "2005-05-22T07:32:32Z")
While they’re not “corporate,” the last couple of Summer Olympics mascots have been rather fugly, IMO. [Cobi,](http://www.aldaver.com/Images/Os/ms1992sm.gif) summer 1992 [Izzy,](http://www.aldaver.com/Images/Os/masc1996.gif) summer 1996 [Syd, Millie, and Ollie,](http://www.aldaver.com/Images/Os/masc2000.jpg) summer 2000 [Athena and Phevos,](http://www.aldaver.com/Images/Os/ms2004sm.jpg) summer 2004 (I’d throw in the winter Olympics as well, but [Haakon and Kristin](http://www.aldaver.com/Images/Ow/masc1994.gif) (winter 1994) weren’t bad, and [Powder, Copper, and Coal](http://www.aldaver.com/Images/Ow/masc2002.gif) (winter 2002) were great) As for corporate mascots, the Verizon “Can you hear me now?” guy _really_ gets on my nerves. Grade-A Dork[sup]TM[/sup]. ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-corporate-product-mascots/304873/34 "2005-05-22T16:40:38Z")
> [@pinkfreud](#): > > I have become quite weary of the AFLAC duck. I think it’s time to serve him with orange sauce. My theatre teacher had a little AFLAC duck puppet that, when a button was pressed, would emit 2 AFLAC noises and then a third, drawn out screamed AFLAC. Therefore, when paired with a large, menacing looking frog puppet, the following puppet skit could could be performed. Duck (_kind of bouncing along_): AFLAC _Frog approaches_ Duck: AFLAC _Frog opens mouth_ Duck: A… _Frog closes mouth around duck_ Duck: AFFFFFLLLLAAACCCCCC ---
**Author:** ![Meeko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Meeko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meeko)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-corporate-product-mascots/304873/35 "2005-05-22T17:13:23Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > I’m just grateful Preparation H hasn’t jumped on this particular bandwagon. What Not even Peparation H Raymond? ((Connan O’Brien Character from last year or so)) If you have a sore that has you Bi-----n’ put this on and quit your itching!! ---
**Author:** ![Meeko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Meeko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meeko)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-corporate-product-mascots/304873/36 "2005-05-22T17:25:08Z")
Whatisit // As he later became known as “Izzy”. – The joke around Atlanta at the time, was that the Marathon course (denoted by a continuous blue stripe that was found on roads downtown) was Izzy’s Blood/Skin leaving a trail behind him, where local Atlantans drug him out and beat him up. Weren’t the Quizno’s rat things (Sp someting monkeys?) a take off (or rip-off) of a Internet diversion? -Baby Bob had his own show on CBS for a second right? Helping Hand (The Betty Crocker Hamburger Helper mascot) can give Oven Mitt the finger. 😃 . -But they are both Right hand men, and Handy men by trade, so I guess we should glove them for who they are. Jay Leno apparently hates the Burger King King, recently (Month of May) the King has been in many of the “bit” segments right after the dialouge. (I assume that BK is paying for this stragetic hatred however, as the actual King is preasnt in studio, or for the stunts) I like Mr.Peanut … His character seems to be “perfect”. Then again, the Christmas commercial where as a child he gets his famous hat as a present was one of the best commercials for last december. No mention of Joe Cammel and Spuds Mckennzie? They where a little before my time (If Joe was indeed ever on TV… Ive seen some later Joe Cammel ads in the 90s) Then you also had that McDonalds Tonight Moon man thing… who got taken off for ripping off Mack The knife… Oh, and if you ask me, Poppin Fresh (Pillsbury Dough boy) was the original Pokemon. ---
**Author:** ![Meeko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Meeko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meeko)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-corporate-product-mascots/304873/37 "2005-05-22T17:29:16Z")
Wow, just way to many to mention here. I like how the [Pets.com](http://Pets.com) Sock Puppet (He more or less gained that as his offical name… its how he signed his autobiography) found work, and was “given a second chance” working for Bar None Auto Loans. Also, I like how the current Kool-aid Commercial (Mr.Koolaid /Koolaid Man ((The big pitcher with human feet)) ) is on a quiz show… With Mr.Peanut and the Super Golden Crisp Bear… ((I assume they are somehow ““Cousins”” Also, the Tony the Tiger / Corn Flake ads from a few years back… had Tony “Hiding” in the back ground of the commercials. ---
**Author:** ![Meeko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Meeko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meeko)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-corporate-product-mascots/304873/38 "2005-05-22T17:31:28Z")
[Killfrog.com](http://Killfrog.com) has a take off of can you hear me now… “Can you kill me now?” ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-corporate-product-mascots/304873/39 "2005-05-22T17:35:03Z")
> [@Meeko](#): > > Weren’t the Quizno’s rat things (Sp someting monkeys?) a take off (or rip-off) of a Internet diversion? [Yup](http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/)! The original was actually done by the same guy who did the [Viking Kittens](http://david.artoo.net/vikings/). ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2005, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-corporate-product-mascots/304873/40 "2005-05-22T18:30:37Z")
> [@Meeko](#): > > I like how the [Pets.com](http://Pets.com) Sock Puppet (He more or less gained that as his offical name… its how he signed his autobiography) found work, and was “given a second chance” working for Bar None Auto Loans. It’s really sad to think that when [Pet.com](http://Pet.com) collapsed, the most valuable asset they had to sell in bankruptcy was the sock puppet [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-corporate-product-mascots/304873.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-corporate-product-mascots/304873.md?page=3)