# Worst Creationist Argument You've Ever Heard **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 24, 2001, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-creationist-argument-youve-ever-heard/89260 "2001-10-24T04:59:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-creationist-argument-youve-ever-heard/89260/1 "2001-10-24T04:59:54Z")
Mine’s this: “I don’t believe in evolution because no animal is on earth with the animal it evolved up from. You don’t see any land whales walking around or anything.” It’s five years later, and remebering that STILL makes my brain hurt. ---
**Author:** ![They\_Call\_Me\_Sneeze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@They\_Call\_Me\_Sneeze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/They_Call_Me_Sneeze)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-creationist-argument-youve-ever-heard/89260/2 "2001-10-24T06:20:34Z")
land whales? bwahahahahahahahha!!! ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-creationist-argument-youve-ever-heard/89260/3 "2001-10-24T06:23:07Z")
I like the one about how the earth was covered with a huge envelope of water vapor prior to the Deluge, which blocked solar radiation and allowed people to live hundreds of years (which would explain why every nocturnal or subterranean animal lives hundreds of years :rolleyes: ) and that’s where all the water that covered the Earth came from. ---
**Author:** ![Asylum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@Asylum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asylum)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-creationist-argument-youve-ever-heard/89260/4 "2001-10-24T06:32:27Z")
I remember one that was going around back in the 1800’s I believe. A group of creationists were trying to claim that dinosaurs were proof of God’s existence and that they were a previous attempt by God to populate the Earth that failed(?). I never could understand the rationale behind that one. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-creationist-argument-youve-ever-heard/89260/5 "2001-10-24T07:03:13Z")
Worst creationist argument I’ve ever heard? That’s easy; “Creationism is true because it says so in the Bible.” Best creationist argument I’ve ever heard? Once again; “Creationism is true because it says so in the Bible.” Only creationist argument I’ve ever heard? Stop me if you’ve heard this one … ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-creationist-argument-youve-ever-heard/89260/6 "2001-10-24T07:17:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Asylum \* > \*\*I remember one that was going around back in the 1800’s I believe. A group of creationists were trying to claim that dinosaurs were proof of God’s existence and that they were a previous attempt by God to populate the Earth that failed(?). I never could understand the rationale behind that one. \*\* I thought dinosaurs - or rather dinosaur bones- were proof of God’s existence because he obviously put them there to make the Earth look older and test our faith. My favorite one is from Rev. D. James Kennedy. Most creationist will imply to one extent or the other that evolutionist are out to destroy the idea of God (never mind the many theist not to mention Christian evolutionist). But Kennedy got up and said in so many words -actually, claimed an evolutionist scientist told him this as a fact- that scientists are only supporting the obvioulsly ridiculous theory of evolution because then they won’t have to follow the Ten Commandments and they’ll be free to commit adultery. Ah. That explains it. ---
**Author:** ![charmaine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19adc/32.png) [@charmaine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/charmaine)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-creationist-argument-youve-ever-heard/89260/7 "2001-10-24T07:25:32Z")
I read a pamphlet once that said that evolutionists (or whatever) believed that dinosaurs died off because they either A. all got diarreha, dehydrated and died or B. committed mass suicide i can’t decide which one i prefer. i like the idea of dinosaurs sitting around lamenting their lot in life and then deciding that killing themselves is the only way out. what a conversation! this pamphlet went on to “disprove” the existence of dinosaurs arguing that we couldn’t possibly know how old they were cause they weren’t burried in marked graves… still believing in dinosaurs despite the “evidence,” charmaine ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-creationist-argument-youve-ever-heard/89260/8 "2001-10-24T11:15:45Z")
The World’s _DUMBEST_ Creationist site: This guy makes Jack Chick look like Godel, Einstein and Hawking put together by comparison. Check [here](http://www.pathlights.com/ce_encyclopedia/14flod03.htm) for just a taste of his flood ideas (which include the exciting idea that the world was a mostly featureless sphere (no hill/mountains, chasms, valleys, _until the weight of the flood-water pushed down valleys and chasms, which forced up the mountains!_ [Here](http://www.pathlights.com/ce_encyclopedia/01-ma2.htm) for 42 ASTOUNDING!!! points proving astrophysicists are wrong, including > [@](#): > > 1 - Not squeezable. Nothingness cannot pack itself together. Try packing some fog into a star. Gas in outer space is millions of times more rarefied (thinner) in density than terrestrial fog—yet, billions of times by merest chance, it is supposed to have accomplished the trick.—p. 15. > > 2 - Not stoppable. There would be no mechanism to push nothingness to a single point, and then stop it there.—p. 15. > > 3 - Nothing to explode it. There would be no match, no fire to explode nothingness.—pp. 15-16. > > 4 - No way to expand it. There would be no way to push (explode) nothingness outward. A total vacuum can neither contract nor expand. According to the laws of physics, it takes energy to do work, and there is no energy in emptiness.—p. 16. > > 5 - No way to slow it. If it could explode outward, there would be no way to later slow outward, exploding gas in frictionless space.—p. 16. > > 6 - No way to clump it. It is impossible for gas to clump together on earth, much less in outer space without gravity. Gas moves from high density to low density, not the other way around.—p. 16. and [here](http://www.pathlights.com/ce_encyclopedia/03-ss6.htm) for a dialogue with an eee-vil heathen astronomy instructor. Sample dialogue: > [@](#): > > Instructor: Everything began with a Big Bang, when nothing suddenly came together and exploded. > > Student: But prof, “nothing” can’t explode. > > Instructor: Our theoreticians have theorized that nothing might be able to explode under the right conditions, if compacted enough > > Student: But prof, there would be nothing to press “nothing” together; gravity surely wouldn’t > > Instructor: It was an immense explosion, fueled by a massive amount of energy. > > Student: But prof, if there was nothing there, then there was no matter and no energy there. Only matter can explode, and it takes a source of energy to fire it. > > Instructor: This hydrogen shot outward, then stopped, and then began whirling, and formed itself into stars. > > Student: But prof, out-rushing hydrogen would never stop in outer space, and there is no way it could start whirling. > > Instructor: This hydrogen pushed itself together into stars. This is because there is immense gravitation exerted by a star. > > Student: But prof, hydrogen in the vacuum of outer space never jams itself together. Instead, it continually flows outward and becomes less dense, not more. Yes, stars have immense gravity, but only after they are formed, not before. Even Jack (Dinosaurs and man _WALKED TOGETHER_!) Chick can’t top this site. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-creationist-argument-youve-ever-heard/89260/9 "2001-10-24T12:30:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by betenoir \* > **I thought dinosaurs - or rather dinosaur bones- were proof of God’s existence because he obviously put them there to make the Earth look older and test our faith.** My argument for this has always been the same: Why would God lie? (I qualify this by saying that I’m Catholic, but don’t take the Creation story in the Bible literally. ) ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-creationist-argument-youve-ever-heard/89260/10 "2001-10-24T13:03:26Z")
I think the worst Creationist argument is the one that states that, since the universe is so huge, and our amount of knowledge about it is so small, we clearly must accept that there is a god because it would be uppity to declare it not so. Well I guess that’s a Thiest argument, not a Crationist one. Sorry, my error. I still think it’s dumb. By that rationale, I have said on more than one occasion, I tell you this: I am an 8 inch tall levitating purple octopus wearing a fez. To claim otherwise is to defy God, ye who have not the entire knowledge of the vast universe at your disposal. ---
**Author:** ![Shortie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Shortie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shortie)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-creationist-argument-youve-ever-heard/89260/11 "2001-10-24T13:18:44Z")
“The Earth and humanity can’t be more than 6000 years old, because with the rate of population increase there’d be so many people we’d be stacked on top of each other right out to the Moon. And that’s obviously silly.” (Paraphrased) ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-creationist-argument-youve-ever-heard/89260/12 "2001-10-24T13:24:50Z")
I saw a good one the other night on Faith I think. (I just got normal cable so I don’t know all the channels yet.) Some guy was on with his Bible Code and he “proved” evolution was wrong because in one part, I think Issah 15:55 or something like that, he pulled “Evolutionists are wrong”. Yeah what ever. He also did some family members weding and all of the people that were there and found them all in the Bible so of course thousands of years ago God knew about this weding and put it in the bible. I’ve also heard this one: “Evolution can’t be true, when was the last time you saw a groundhog evolve along the side of the road?” :rolleyes: That was in a letter to the editor about teaching evolution in high school. I had to write back it was so stupid. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-creationist-argument-youve-ever-heard/89260/13 "2001-10-24T13:29:56Z")
These arguments are NOTHING. I’ll trump you all. We had a neighbour who said “Those dinosaur bones they say they find are all faked. Who ever heard of an animal that had bones made out of rock?” Ba-dum-ching. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-creationist-argument-youve-ever-heard/89260/14 "2001-10-24T14:03:54Z")
Right [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=1743384#post1743384). [quote] **I believe the Bible and God creating the world in 6 literal days by faith, not proof.** Errrr, OK; this is the equivalent of: **\La La La, can’t hear you!** Not a particularly effective argument. [sub](I should point out that in this case, it wasn’t posted as an argument, just an opinion) ---
**Author:** ![tsarina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f4b2a3/32.png) [@tsarina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tsarina)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-creationist-argument-youve-ever-heard/89260/15 "2001-10-24T14:35:06Z")
I’ve posted this here before, but this is so damn stupid: “All the waters in the oceans are remnants from the Flood! That proves the Flood happened!” ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-creationist-argument-youve-ever-heard/89260/16 "2001-10-24T15:28:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RickJay \* > \*\*These arguments are NOTHING. I’ll trump you all. > > We had a neighbour who said “Those dinosaur bones they say they find are all faked. Who ever heard of an animal that had bones made out of rock?” > > Ba-dum-ching. \*\* I declare **RickJay** the undisputed winner. ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-creationist-argument-youve-ever-heard/89260/17 "2001-10-24T17:51:41Z")
The entire “creation science” movement appears to be operating on something I’d like to name the “army ant” principle. There is an enormous line of creationists all trying to “prove” their blind faith has substance. But to get to “proof,” they must cross a dangerous obstacle: a stream of logic that states, _discrediting one theory does not necessarily prove your own_. The line of creationists comes to this obstacle, and some willingly throw themselves into the stream, clinging to one another as they drown in the filthy, suffocating logic. Eventually, they hope, there will be enough dead and discredited bodies stuck together in the water that the faithful can traipse straight across the stream without drowning. It appears to be working already. In another thread, I poked fun at the [“la, la, la”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=85245) school of thought which we here at the SDMB enjoy bashing our heads against on a near-daily basis. But those people are prime examples of folks who have already crossed the ant-bridge to salvation. ---
**Author:** ![ninja\_rydr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8491ac/32.png) [@ninja\_rydr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ninja_rydr)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-creationist-argument-youve-ever-heard/89260/18 "2001-10-24T18:24:31Z")
**Ninja** : So you beleive the Earth is only about 6,000 years old? \*\*Joe Creationist \*\*: Uh yeah. (like anyone would think different) **Ninja** : So what about the fossil record? \*\*Joe Creationist \*\*: What about fossils, there is no way fossils can be that old. **Ninja** : Really? Why not? \*\*Joe Creationist \*\*: Cuz the Bible says Earth was created 6,000 years ago. **Ninja** : What about Carbon-14 dating and other proven methods used to determine the age of items, fossils or hand made tools. \*\*Joe Creationist \*\*: They’re wrong. **Ninja** : Who’s wrong? \*\*Joe Creationist \*\*: The scientists. They are all wrong. **Ninja** : Ok, so _all_ the scientists are wrong? \*\*Joe Creationist \*\*: Yeah, they all teach and learn from each other so they are all wrong. **Ninja** : [sub] shoots himself in the head with index finger and walks away [/sub] It was a few years ago but I had this conversation with a guy I work with. FWIW he is a born again Christian and generally a smart guy. Don’t get him started though, every time I tried to toss a couple of facts his way he would dismiss them as being wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Mofo\_Rising](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mofo\_Rising](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mofo_Rising)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-creationist-argument-youve-ever-heard/89260/19 "2001-10-24T18:47:20Z")
Well, I remember asking one girl about the state of available partners after Adam and Eve after they were expelled from the garden. Sure Adam and Eve were set, but wouldn’t their kids have to be having sex with their sisters and brothers, and their kids the same? Isn’t that kind of disgusting? Her answer is that people back then were “so perfect” that they could have kids like that without imperfections, or an argument along those lines. I guess it does make some kind of sense, seeing as how people used to live hundreds of years and all. Centuries of inbreeding would seem to reduce that level of hardiness somewhat. Still, it would seem kind of dispiriting that your ancestors were a group of inbreeders so bad they put that family that kept their mother under the bed in “The X-Files” to shame. ---
**Author:** ![Nefarious\_Chipmunk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nefarious_chipmunk/32/1045_2.png) [@Nefarious\_Chipmunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nefarious_Chipmunk)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-creationist-argument-youve-ever-heard/89260/20 "2001-10-24T19:19:31Z")
But…but…but… my friend showed me a book. It had pretty pictures. It told about how dinosaurs and humans walked together. It told about how dinosaurs were extinct because they wouldn’t fit on the Ark. \* It Had Pretty Pictures\* Are you telling me that this book was…WRONG!? 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-creationist-argument-youve-ever-heard/89260.md?page=2)