# Worst. Doctor. Ever. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 12, 2010, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054 "2010-08-12T16:33:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2010, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/21 "2010-08-12T17:40:12Z")
Wait a minute. Video? Does that mean you have to watch a video, make a video - what? And even if you have a copay, who cares if you get a doc capable of giving you the right diagnosis? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2010, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/22 "2010-08-12T17:40:53Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > Seriously, I’m thinking about complaining about this guy to the hospital. You’re really upset…but you’re only _thinking_ about complaining? Ooookay. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2010, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/23 "2010-08-12T17:48:14Z")
Hi. I think I have chestnut blight because the Tunguska Event and Paul Lynde’s birthday happened. Hi. I think I have Bieber Fever because the Cretaceous period and the Great Chicago Fire happened. Hi. I think I have… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Surb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@The\_Surb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Surb)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2010, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/24 "2010-08-12T17:52:42Z")
He didn’t videotape a “prostate” exam did he? ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2010, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/25 "2010-08-12T18:04:23Z")
> [@The\_Surb](#): > > He didn’t videotape a “prostate” exam did he? Arr…it’s okay. I be a doctor! Arrr! [crash of thunder] -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2010, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/26 "2010-08-12T21:29:23Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Hi. I think I have chestnut blight because the Tunguska Event and Paul Lynde’s birthday happened. You scoff, but one of James Thurber’s uncles died of chestnut blight. You reach a certain age, and then the inevitable die-off begins. We cannot help the OP unless he provides us with a list of relevant signs and symptoms (you’ll know from the Internet what’s relevant). Then we all vote on the diagnosis and the OP takes the winning disease back to the original doc for more drugs. On the basis of the facts already provided, I’ve narrowed the differential diagnosis down to: 1. Influenza 2. Psoriatic arthritis (it’s in the news) 3. Erectile dysfunction 4. Hookworms 5. Icthyosis (I’m leaning towards this, since I haven’t seen it lately and it’s due) Of course you could get the doc to prescribe drugs for all of these at once. Given the potential side effects, it’s likely you’ll forget all about what your original complaint was. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2010, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/27 "2010-08-12T21:44:40Z")
My first thought was [John Pertwee.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jon_Pertwee). Then I read the OP. If we’re in a fertility clinic it might explain the video. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2010, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/28 "2010-08-12T21:48:10Z")
Not the best OP. Having said that. I have a “this dumbass is actually a doctor?” story or two myself. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2010, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/29 "2010-08-12T22:20:26Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > > [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > > > So he fucked up your diagnosis before and gave you drugs for the wrong illness that gave you severe side effects and you went back to him again? Excellent decision making > > Diagnosis: the patient has an advanced case of the stupid. [You can’t fix stupid](http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/funny-pictures-cat-says-your-disease-is-incurable.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2010, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/30 "2010-08-13T00:01:06Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > (Because you misdiagnosed me last time, you ass)] I read that and I winced. In the pit you gotta be 100% immaculate or you’re garbage. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2010, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/31 "2010-08-13T00:58:53Z")
Read, repeat, remember; Professionals\* work for you. If they don’t work for you\*\*, FIND ANOTHER. - Doctors, Lawyers, Plumbers, Salesmen \*\* In both senses of the phrase. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2010, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/32 "2010-08-13T01:08:45Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > > [@Superhal](#): > > > > Seriously, I’m thinking about complaining about this guy to the hospital. > > You’re really upset…but you’re only _thinking_ about complaining? Ooookay. :rolleyes: I’m going to try to get an appointment with another doctor. If the medication he put me on before was what made me sick now, I would sue. But, to reiterate: I wasn’t going to him for a diagnosis, I wanted a diagnostic test ordered, and an appointment with him was the soonest of all my doctors. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2010, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/33 "2010-08-13T01:16:24Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > > [@Guinastasia](#): > > > > You’re really upset…but you’re only _thinking_ about complaining? Ooookay. :rolleyes: > > I’m going to try to get an appointment with another doctor. If the medication he put me on before was what made me sick now, I would sue. So you went back out of some hope of expediency for a medical condition? If so that isn’t so dumb, depending on the discomfort. In my teens I had a toothache so bad I would have seen the zombie of Hitler if he had a pair of pliers. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2010, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/34 "2010-08-13T01:45:02Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Diagnosis: the patient has an advanced case of the stupid. Nonsense, dear colleague. Patient merely seems to suffer from benign rectocranial inversion. I would suggest a swift occipital percussion\* while asking the patient what the hell’s the matter with him. Repeat as necessary. - Consult Doctors Howard, Fine & Howard for proper procedure. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2010, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/35 "2010-08-13T03:59:52Z")
Me: Doctor, I haven’t been able to keep anything down for 3 days. DR: Nothing? Me: If I take a sip of water I vomit it right back up. DR: Here is a prescription for some pills. Me: I can’t swallow anything. It won’t stay down. DR: (exits the room) To make this even sadder. I didn’t have any insurance a the time. My temp job made me too rich for medicaid, so I went to a clinic with a ‘sliding scale’ payment. So I gave them my information and went to see the doc. (Because I hand not eaten or drank anything for 3 days!) Later the bill for that above exchange was more than a weeks pay for me. (that didn’t include the RX which I didn’t get filled) ---
**Author:** ![Shmendrik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Shmendrik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shmendrik)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2010, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/36 "2010-08-13T20:25:02Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > > [@Guinastasia](#): > > > > You’re really upset…but you’re only _thinking_ about complaining? Ooookay. :rolleyes: > > I’m going to try to get an appointment with another doctor. If the medication he put me on before was what made me sick now, I would sue. > > But, to reiterate: I wasn’t going to him for a diagnosis, I wanted a diagnostic test ordered, and an appointment with him was the soonest of all my doctors. Too bad you just can’t go to a lab and get the diagnostic test done yourself. Doesn’t sound like there’s a real need for a doctor here. ---
**Author:** ![Shmendrik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Shmendrik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shmendrik)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2010, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/37 "2010-08-13T20:26:31Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Me: Doctor, I haven’t been able to keep anything down for 3 days. > > DR: Nothing? > > Me: If I take a sip of water I vomit it right back up. > > DR: Here is a prescription for some pills. > > Me: I can’t swallow anything. It won’t stay down. > > DR: (exits the room) > To make this even sadder. I didn’t have any insurance a the time. My temp job made me too rich for medicaid, so I went to a clinic with a ‘sliding scale’ payment. So I gave them my information and went to see the doc. (Because I hand not eaten or drank anything for 3 days!) Later the bill for that above exchange was more than a weeks pay for me. (that didn’t include the RX which I didn’t get filled) Some anti-nausea pills dissolve sublingualy. Are you sure s/he prescribed pills which needed to be swallowed? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2010, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/38 "2010-08-13T21:21:30Z")
> [@Shmendrik](#): > > [ > Some anti-nausea pills dissolve sublingualy. Are you sure s/he prescribed pills which needed to be swallowed? Are you sure the doctor wasnt so stupid/incompetent he didnt bother to TELL THE PATIENT THAT? But, hey, he’s a doctor/god so he don’t have no time for such trivial shit. ---
**Author:** ![George\_Kaplin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@George\_Kaplin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/George_Kaplin)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2010, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/39 "2010-08-13T21:46:26Z")
Why is this thread being weird? ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2010, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/40 "2010-08-13T23:47:03Z")
Any painkillers involved? Maybe doc is taking one for himself for each two for a patient… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054.md?page=3)