# Worst. Doctor. Ever. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 12, 2010, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054 "2010-08-12T16:33:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Nunavut\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e95f7d/32.png) [@Nunavut\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nunavut_Boy)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2010, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/41 "2010-08-14T00:29:42Z")
> [@](#): > > Too bad you just can’t go to a lab and get the diagnostic test done yourself. Doesn’t sound like there’s a real need for a doctor here. Yup, too bad. -Nunavut Boy, Lab Bitch Extraordinaire ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2010, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/42 "2010-08-14T04:08:59Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > > [@lieu](#): > > > > Alex, I’ll take Threads That Don’t Go the Way the OP Thought They Would for $1000 please. > > Heh, this is my first BBQ post, I was kind of expecting something like this. Oh, this was mild. We haven’t even gotten around to questioning your motives, claiming you weren’t sick at all, or pointing out that you were such a jerk in another thread that you deserve to be sick. ---
**Author:** ![GHO57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/df788c/32.png) [@GHO57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GHO57)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2010, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/43 "2010-08-14T04:18:51Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > On the basis of the facts already provided, I’ve narrowed the differential diagnosis down to: > > 1. Influenza > 2. Psoriatic arthritis (it’s in the news) > 3. Erectile dysfunction > 4. Hookworms > 5. Icthyosis (I’m leaning towards this, since I haven’t seen it lately and it’s due) > > Of course you could get the doc to prescribe drugs for all of these at once. Given the potential side effects, it’s likely you’ll forget all about what your original complaint was. I vote Lupus. ---
**Author:** ![Mallory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mallory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mallory)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2010, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/44 "2010-08-14T04:48:15Z")
It’s never lupus. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2010, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/45 "2010-08-14T05:01:18Z")
If you can identify the lab test you think you need, there are private labs which will do many of them for you without a doctor’s visit or prescription. Your friend, Google ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2010, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/46 "2010-08-14T05:04:42Z")
Colin Baker? ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2010, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/47 "2010-08-14T05:48:28Z")
> [@Mallory](#): > > It’s never lupus. It is if you’re House and have enough controlled substance in your system. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2010, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/48 "2010-08-14T05:54:32Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > If you can identify the lab test you think you need, there are private labs which will do many of them for you without a doctor’s visit or prescription. Some may even be qualified. It’s fun guessing which. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2010, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/49 "2010-08-14T07:49:36Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > Wait a minute. Video? Does that mean you have to watch a video, make a video - what? And even if you have a copay, who cares if you get a doc capable of giving you the right diagnosis? A porno. Not all doctors are created equal. Some are sweet and low. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2010, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/50 "2010-08-14T15:01:59Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > > [@WhyNot](#): > > > > If you can identify the lab test you think you need, there are private labs which will do many of them for you without a doctor’s visit or prescription. > > Some may even be qualified. It’s fun guessing which. Hey, if you’re going to be in control of your own health, you’ve got to do some legwork. Or, uh, fingerwork. (I took the easy way out and found out that the lab my last doc used also accepts private clients.) Or, y’know, you could visit a doctor you trust. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2010, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/51 "2010-08-14T18:10:44Z")
> [@Shmendrik](#): > > > [@Zebra](#): > > > > Me: Doctor, I haven’t been able to keep anything down for 3 days. > > > > DR: Nothing? > > > > Me: If I take a sip of water I vomit it right back up. > > > > DR: Here is a prescription for some pills. > > > > Me: I can’t swallow anything. It won’t stay down. > > > > DR: (exits the room) > > To make this even sadder. I didn’t have any insurance a the time. My temp job made me too rich for medicaid, so I went to a clinic with a ‘sliding scale’ payment. So I gave them my information and went to see the doc. (Because I hand not eaten or drank anything for 3 days!) Later the bill for that above exchange was more than a weeks pay for me. (that didn’t include the RX which I didn’t get filled) > > Some anti-nausea pills dissolve sublingualy. Are you sure s/he prescribed pills which needed to be swallowed? Yes she did. They were not anti-nausea pills. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2010, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/52 "2010-08-14T23:08:46Z")
Oh, come on, he’s not _that_ bad. Granted, he’s no Tennant, but Matt Smith is not as bad as… Oh. This thread is _not_ about _Doctor Who_. Ohhh-kay, time to cut back on the amount of BBC America I watch… ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2010, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/53 "2010-08-15T00:35:06Z")
Yeah, I’m not going to jump all over your shit. I can understand why you’d go to the doctor again after he misdiagnosed the first time. Most people trust their doctors, and even very good doctors have misdiagnosed. The issue as I see it is not going back after he made an error once; it’s his seeming unwillingness afterward to listen or fix the problem. That is beyond bad. Glad you’re going to see a new doctor. And please none of this “thinking about complaining” business. Complain. ---
**Author:** ![Obsidian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/51bf81/32.png) [@Obsidian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obsidian)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2010, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/54 "2010-08-15T08:54:02Z")
I have a Dr. Fail story. I fall down my front stairs. I fold my foot over on it’s self (yes, it hurt as much as you think it did). I grow a bruise the size of a tennis ball on my ankle. Out of shock or it just being late at night, I give it some ice and advil and go to bed. The next day it hurts a lot, but I can walk, so I think it’s just a bad bruise. This goes on, and it gets worse, until I can’t walk on it. So I go to urgent care. Dr. Fail orders an x-ray. I can’t quite lay my foot flat, so they have to squish it to get the x-ray. It was agonizing. I go back up to the room (in a wheelchair-- can’t walk, remember?). I’m sitting there on the table, cradling my foot and crying. Dr. Fail comes in. Tells me the x-ray is fine and I should take some aleve. I’m astonished and a little hysterical. I say, again, that it won’t bear weight. She very sternly tells me that she “doesn’t prescribe painkillers for this type of injury.” I cry harder. She _very_ reluctantly and suspiciously gives me one vicodin to take right there, in front of her. My roommates wheel me back to the car. The next day, Sunday, I wake up, it hurts even worse, and I still can’t walk. My saintly roommates got to every drug store in the area looking for crutches. I think maybe if I call the clinic and beg they’ll sell me crutches. The receptionist tells me she needs to talk to the Dr. I barely refrain from asking her to remind Dr. Fail that crutches are not an abusable narcotic, even if she thinks they’re inappropriate for “this type of injury”, which she never actually told me what it was. Two hours later, I get a call from a different doctor (she actually called me herself), and she said she was an orthopedic, she looked at my films, and that my foot was broken. Would I please come back in right now? In the end, it turned out my ankle was so badly damaged it required surgical repair. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2010, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/55 "2010-08-16T02:38:37Z")
Seriously? This is it? You know, the only reason I posted here was because I heard the Pit had the best snark, the best putdowns, and the wittiest posters of all the SDMB boards. I’ve had better flames and snark back in 1985 on Prodigy before we even knew what “snark” was. Yes, $P…when I was 10 years old. I am utterly, completely, and totally devastated by the lack of wit in the Pit. I was even thinking about starting a Pit thread aimed at all of you, but I decided that you weren’t worth my time. Maybe if I wanted some _real_ snark, I should go to Yahoo Answers or Ask Jeeves. At least they take their snark seriously. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2010, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/56 "2010-08-16T07:24:37Z")
The Pit doesn’t have very good snark because there’s no reason to hide behind snark when you can directly insult the person and be done with it. The best snark is composed when you have to get around the no personal attacks rule. And when the snark bait isn’t quite so transparent. ---
**Author:** ![GHO57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/df788c/32.png) [@GHO57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GHO57)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2010, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/57 "2010-08-16T07:28:26Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > Seriously? This is it? You know, the only reason I posted here was because I heard the Pit had the best snark, the best putdowns, and the wittiest posters of all the SDMB boards. > > I’ve had better flames and snark back in 1985 on Prodigy before we even knew what “snark” was. Yes, $P…when I was 10 years old. > > I am utterly, completely, and totally devastated by the lack of wit in the Pit. I was even thinking about starting a Pit thread aimed at all of you, but I decided that you weren’t worth my time. Maybe if I wanted some _real_ snark, I should go to Yahoo Answers or Ask Jeeves. At least they take their snark seriously. I’m sorry… would you like a hug? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2010, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054/58 "2010-08-16T15:49:18Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > Seriously? This is it? You know, the only reason I posted here was because I heard the Pit had the best snark, the best putdowns, and the wittiest posters of all the SDMB boards. It’s true. We also don’t sweat that much, for fat girls. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-doctor-ever/550054.md?page=2)