# Worst Facebook Status Updates **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 9, 2010, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-facebook-status-updates/553178 "2010-09-09T14:12:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Minnie\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Minnie\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minnie_Luna)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-facebook-status-updates/553178/21 "2010-09-09T20:24:45Z")
I have a number of FB friends from high school, 75% of whom turned out to be fundies. No big surprise, really. I have one FB friend who was from sophomore year of college. She managed to last a semester before dropping out. Now, in her thirties, she is still a huge party girl. Sample status: \*\* My last night in Vegas…lets see what kind of trouble I can get into!!!\*\* and \*\* Dear God, where are my pants?\*\* and the topper: \*\* Could someone please explain to Congress that the 700 billion dollars they use to bailout businesses could be spent better bailing out actual citizens- pay my fkn student loans, cc bills, rent and electric! its my tax dollars anyway! wtf!\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Mint\_Julep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bc79bd/32.png) [@Mint\_Julep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mint_Julep)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-facebook-status-updates/553178/22 "2010-09-09T20:27:54Z")
A girl had changed her relationship status to “Its Complicated” and someone posted beneath it…its only complicated to the person that cannot admit there is no relationship. Go ahead and change that to “Single”, trust me. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-facebook-status-updates/553178/23 "2010-09-09T20:33:06Z")
Hm, I don’t seem to get the proselytizers, but I did have to block two people. One was my hardcore Republican friend (seriously - he works for the Michigan GOP now) with whom I could _not refrain from arguing_\*, and the other was my cousin who takes inanity to new levels. Okay, I just went and looked at her wall, and she’s had TEN updates in the last day. TEN. Several of them are related to Farmville and other stupid shit, and the others are equally pointless and boring. Like this: “MMM–In n-OUt Burgers…I plan on trying that 5 Guys place–heard it was NOT “all that”–we are SO lucky to have IN-n-OUT Burger here on the West Coast :)” \*On Facebook. In real life, we got on beautifully. ETA: I just scrolled further down my cousin’s wall and came across this: “I tend to believe that the gov’t MAY have murdered Pat Tillman…on purpose!” wtf? ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-facebook-status-updates/553178/24 "2010-09-09T20:40:46Z")
Oh, and if you want to see some really dreadful Facebook behavior, check out [passiveagressivenotes.com](http://passiveagressivenotes.com)’s [Facebook tag](http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/category/posted-online/facebook/). ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-facebook-status-updates/553178/25 "2010-09-09T20:58:35Z")
One could spend hours being amused at [lamebook.com](http://lamebook.com) … I’m just sayin’ is all. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-facebook-status-updates/553178/26 "2010-09-09T21:18:10Z")
I have one who is so cloyingly narcissistic it has become ironically amusing to read. A typical post: “…is reclined on the veranda with a perfectly chilled chablis while basking in the intellectual afterglow of a freshly read Proust novel…” ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-facebook-status-updates/553178/27 "2010-09-09T22:40:54Z")
> [@GargoyleWB](#): > > … > “…is reclined on the veranda with a perfectly chilled chablis while basking in the intellectual afterglow of a freshly read Proust novel…” Did you seek out this erstwhile friend and immediately kill her/him? If not, why not? ☹ Really, no sane government on earth would convict you. And all people would bless you for your wisdom. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Fair\_Rarity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fair_rarity/32/153_2.png) [@Fair\_Rarity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fair_Rarity)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-facebook-status-updates/553178/28 "2010-09-10T00:56:03Z")
[Failbook](http://failbook.failblog.org/) is also a great source of amusement. Most of my friends are mostly normal. I feel left out of teh krazy. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-facebook-status-updates/553178/29 "2010-09-10T01:05:48Z")
> [@GargoyleWB](#): > > I have one who is so cloyingly narcissistic it has become ironically amusing to read. A typical post: > > “…is reclined on the veranda with a perfectly chilled chablis while basking in the intellectual afterglow of a freshly read Proust novel…” That’s got to be satire. He’s being self-referentially ironic… right? ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-facebook-status-updates/553178/30 "2010-09-10T01:43:17Z")
I was asked to join a group the other day titled “No Dog Should Ever Be Abused! Ever!” Seriously? What about “Murder Is Wrong!” and “I Don’t Like Thieves!” and “Don’t Beat Your Wife! Ever!” Who the hell would join a group so painfully obvious? As far as status updates…I have one friend who seems to get status updates and private messages confused. Hers frequently says things like “Baby I can’t sleep I’m thinking about you i miss you already” and “I just love you sooo much pumpkin i wanna see you tonite i can’t wait i’m making steak.” I don’t need to know this crap? And why not punctuate? Even just occasionally? I view Facebook as a cocktail party. Be amusing/witty if you can, polite if you can’t, and keep your sex life, political views, and religion to yourself. That’s not why any of us are here. ---
**Author:** ![multimediac17](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/839c29/32.png) [@multimediac17](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/multimediac17)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-facebook-status-updates/553178/31 "2010-09-10T01:53:01Z")
> [@Ruby Sees](#): > > Most of my friends are mostly normal. I feel left out of teh krazy. Me too - but, I only feel left out because as soon as someone posts something too religious/political/just plain fucking stupid I delete them from my friends. I think I might have said this on here before but I am a cold, hard, Facebook meanie. I only see a small percentage of my Facebook friends regularly in real life anyway, so I reeeally don’t care whether people I don’t actually like are on my friends list or not. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-facebook-status-updates/553178/32 "2010-09-10T02:41:39Z")
> [@Audrey\_Levins](#): > > I was asked to join a group the other day titled “No Dog Should Ever Be Abused! Ever!” > > Seriously? What about “Murder Is Wrong!” and “I Don’t Like Thieves!” and “Don’t Beat Your Wife! Ever!” Who the hell would join a group so painfully obvious? What namby-pamby planet do you live on where the idea that crime, cruelty, and killing are bad is _obvious?_ I could point you to any number of societies, even segments of _this_ society, where they’re either SOP or positively aspired to. ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-facebook-status-updates/553178/33 "2010-09-10T08:07:37Z")
I love to raid twitter and other such sites for facebook status updates. I can’t be interesting all the time ,but a little searching and voila. One of my missives this week was The guy that invented the vibrator, did he have voices in his head that said build it , they will come. Shamelessly stolen from a twitter post. Declan ---
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-facebook-status-updates/553178/34 "2010-09-10T09:12:58Z")
> [@jk1245](#): > > A number of my friends periodically “like” the inane groups that make obvious statements. The latest one is something like “Mess with me and that’s OK, harm my kids and I’ll bury you” or something stupid like that. Which is good to know, because most parents are cool with people hurting their kids. Maybe I’ll start an “I enjoy breathing oxygen” group and see how many people will “like” it. [3,762](http://www.facebook.com/pages/I-rather-enjoy-breathing-oxygen/260304939588) people would, apparently. As for most idiotic FB status. I went to school with a girl who I know have on my friends list, last night, I got this in my news feed. _AWwWW HaDdA LonG Day.. GOtta LuVa’h NiGGa Who GItZ DowN in Da KitCHeN!! {GottA SuRPRiiSe 4 Meh HHMMMM} OUt Witt dA BaDdeSt LaytAh.._\* Yes, she types like that all. the. time. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-facebook-status-updates/553178/35 "2010-09-10T10:03:33Z")
Wow, she’s even so lazy she doesn’t even do the UpPeRcAsE/LoWeRcAsE thing. Of course, if she has a Blackberry Storm like my sister, it could just be an accident. If you more than just barely touch a letter and jump back off of it, it becomes a capital letter. I no longer worry about capitalization when I use it. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-facebook-status-updates/553178/36 "2010-09-10T10:18:29Z")
I defriended someone who joined the group: **This is England not Poland so fuck off!** ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-facebook-status-updates/553178/37 "2010-09-10T10:41:12Z")
I just got “Let’s remember those who have passed. Press Like if you’ve lost a loved one…” Nah, I hate all my dead loved ones. ---
**Author:** ![Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sticks_and_scones/32/16951_2.png) [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sticks_and_Scones)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-facebook-status-updates/553178/38 "2010-09-10T10:59:29Z")
> [@Audrey\_Levins](#): > > As far as status updates…I have one friend who seems to get status updates and private messages confused. Hers frequently says things like “Baby I can’t sleep I’m thinking about you i miss you already” and “I just love you sooo much pumpkin i wanna see you tonite i can’t wait i’m making steak.” > > I don’t need to know this crap? And why not punctuate? Even just occasionally? [quote=“torie, post:34, topic:553178”] > [@jk1245](#): > > As for most idiotic FB status. I went to school with a girl who I know have on my friends list, last night, I got this in my news feed. > _AWwWW HaDdA LonG Day.. GOtta LuVa’h NiGGa Who GItZ DowN in Da KitCHeN!! {GottA SuRPRiiSe 4 Meh HHMMMM} OUt Witt dA BaDdeSt LaytAh.._\* > > Yes, she types like that all. the. time. These two things remind me of two friends that I have that are brother and sister. The boy is 21 and the girl is 15 or 16. The boy posts status updates that are waaaaay tmi. As a matter of fact, after he posted the one about ‘maybe we can try some new whips on Monday, I love you Susie,’ I actually sent him a PM asking if he really meant to put that in his status. He laughed at me. That’s ok, but, I mean, \*your dad \*and your _stepmom_ are reading this. They really need these explicit details of your sex life?? And, his sister types out everything and I mean EVERYTHING phonetically is some cutesy bullshit speak. You = yeww, to =teww, etc., etc. I think I’m going to hide her soon because I cringe every time I read one of her updates. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-facebook-status-updates/553178/39 "2010-09-10T11:16:22Z")
My mother in law and I get into political arguments all the freaking time on Facebook (lately it’s been mostly about the “Ground Zero” Mosque). Outside of that, the two of us do get along great though. Aside from that, one of my big pet peeves is people who post updates like “None of it even matters anymore.” or “Nobody cares about me.” and when folks post to ask what’s up, they don’t go into it. That, and all the Farmville/Vampires/Gangsters/whatevertheheckelse people put on their Facebooks and try to get everybody else to join. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-facebook-status-updates/553178/40 "2010-09-10T13:11:39Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > I defriended someone who joined the group: > > **This is England not Poland so fuck off!** Some of my Facebook friends joined “Fuck on, we’re empty”, the response group to “Fuck off, we’re full”. My cousin keeps changing his mother’s Facebook status to sexually explicit commentary on her sex life with my uncle… some things, you can’t unread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-facebook-status-updates/553178.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-facebook-status-updates/553178.md?page=3)