# Worst Father in History **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 12, 2014, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-father-in-history/695365 "2014-08-12T12:53:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-father-in-history/695365/21 "2014-08-12T19:09:28Z")
Two terrorists are sitting in a Gaza Strip bar chatting over a pint of fermented goats milk. One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing. “This is my oldest son, he is a martyr.” “You must be so proud,” says the other. “This is my second son. He is a martyr also.” “A fine looking young man,” replies his friend. After a pause and a deep sigh, the second terrorist says wistfully, “They blow up so fast, dont they?” ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-father-in-history/695365/22 "2014-08-12T20:19:01Z")
Disturbingly, this is one of funniest threads I’ve read here in while. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-father-in-history/695365/23 "2014-08-12T21:16:07Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Doesn’t every father want their son to get a head in life? I LOL. I thought this was going to be a contest or something. In which case, I lost. ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-father-in-history/695365/24 "2014-08-12T21:30:58Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Disturbingly, this is one of funniest threads I’ve read here in while. I know! I’m hurting myself laughing, here. (“…_they blow up so fast_…” OMFG) ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-father-in-history/695365/25 "2014-08-12T22:23:14Z")
Awww, his dad just got him a DIY suicide bomber model\* for his birthday. _Some Assembly_\* Required \*\* and Re-Assembly ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-father-in-history/695365/26 "2014-08-12T22:54:01Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Two terrorists are sitting in a Gaza Strip bar chatting over a pint of fermented goats milk. One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing. > > “This is my oldest son, he is a martyr.” > > “You must be so proud,” says the other. > > “This is my second son. He is a martyr also.” > > “A fine looking young man,” replies his friend. > > After a pause and a deep sigh, the second terrorist says wistfully, “They blow up so fast, dont they?” Suicide Bomber’s school… The teacher has his vest strapped on, finger on the detonator, with eager students looking on… Teacher says: Pay attention. I’m only going to demonstrate this once! ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2014, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-father-in-history/695365/27 "2014-08-13T02:42:12Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Disturbingly, this is one of funniest threads I’ve read here in while. I’m going to make a million dollars selling handbaskets for us to go to hell in. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2014, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-father-in-history/695365/28 "2014-08-13T03:38:34Z")
#nofilter ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2014, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-father-in-history/695365/29 "2014-08-13T04:46:56Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Who’s head is it, a teacher, the kid’s coach? Perhaps 'twas a spelling/grammar teacher’s? ---
**Author:** ![syncrolecyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f08c70/32.png) [@syncrolecyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/syncrolecyne)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2014, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-father-in-history/695365/30 "2014-08-13T05:17:39Z")
You don’t have to go too far back in U.S. history - maybe 80-90 years, to see many scenes involving lynchings and mutilation where fathers take their children to poke at, gawk at, or even hold “souvenirs” of the lynching victim. Many of these lynchings involved African American victims, but some had no specific racial component, but represented vigilantism. ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2014, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-father-in-history/695365/31 "2014-08-13T05:43:47Z")
I think Josef Fritzl still takes the prize. Although, you could say his only crime as loving too much. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2014, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-father-in-history/695365/32 "2014-08-13T06:46:46Z")
Every father wants to give his kid a head start. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2014, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-father-in-history/695365/33 "2014-08-13T12:54:13Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Two terrorists are sitting in a Gaza Strip bar chatting over a pint of fermented goats milk. One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing. > > “This is my oldest son, he is a martyr.” > > “You must be so proud,” says the other. > > “This is my second son. He is a martyr also.” > > “A fine looking young man,” replies his friend. > > After a pause and a deep sigh, the second terrorist says wistfully, “They blow up so fast, dont they?” I know I’m going to hell for laughing at this. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2014, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-father-in-history/695365/34 "2014-08-13T13:05:52Z")
> [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > I know I’m going to hell for laughing at this. I’ll bring cigars, you bring beer. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2014, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-father-in-history/695365/35 "2014-08-13T13:25:47Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > Perhaps 'twas a spelling/grammar teacher’s? And here we go, a grammar nazi shows up and sucks the life out of the thread. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2014, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-father-in-history/695365/36 "2014-08-13T13:38:35Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > And here we go, a grammar nazi shows up and sucks the life out of the thread. Perhaps it was a Junior Mod, or a Troll. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2014, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-father-in-history/695365/37 "2014-08-13T13:40:02Z")
> [@Ike\_Witt](#): > > I just see a kid holding a black square. He’s holding Neil deGrasse Tyson? ---
**Author:** ![Kinthalis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kinthalis/32/16084_2.png) [@Kinthalis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kinthalis)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2014, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-father-in-history/695365/38 "2014-08-13T14:18:34Z")
> [@bryan ekers](#): > > he’s holding neil degrasse tyson? roflmao!!! ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2014, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-father-in-history/695365/39 "2014-08-13T14:43:24Z")
C’mon, people - where’s the love? The dad is just trying to give the kid a head start on life. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2014, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-father-in-history/695365/40 "2014-08-13T14:49:36Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > C’mon, people - where’s the love? The dad is just trying to give the kid a head start on life. Puns are unbecoming, and plagiarized puns even more so. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-father-in-history/695365.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-father-in-history/695365.md?page=3)